tough choice please help!

[pittsburgh25]

hi everyone.. im 25 yr old male.. me and my fiance have been together for almost a year i know thats soon we met and moved in really fast but everything was so great it just felt right.. well my cousin lives a very comfortable life on the beach owning 4 businesses so me and my future wife wanted to buy one off him.. we been saving towards it and everything was set in motion to go off in december.. we got it a huge fight last week and decided to stay together and work through it but now she refuses to go to the beach with me.. our love isnt as strong as it was cause we have been having lots of problems she is a very selfish person. she works here under the table cleaning houses im not asking her to change her life completely shes leaving nothing behind if we go is only a couple hours away.. do i stay here and live a mediocre life or do i leave her and work on running my business.. if we truly loved each other y wouldnt she want to better us by moving there? what should i do i only have a couple months to decide please help?

[shh!]

I think at your age, you are supposed to be focused on building your career.

She is not "bad" for not wanting to move, and you shouldn't be calling her "immature" because of it. There is no guarantee your lives will be better if you move, and she knows this, and she sounds like she is more rooted. Maybe she has family where you are now? Or close friends? It is very hard to walk away from your life.

You two seem to have different goals at this time, and besides: it was really too soon to be talking about marriage, anyway. I think if you really want to pursue this beach thing, you should, but don't make her "bad" in the interim.

[pittsburgh25]

I think at your age, you are supposed to be focused on building your career.

She is not "bad" for not wanting to move, and you shouldn't be calling her "immature" because of it. There is no guarantee your lives will be better if you move, and she knows this, and she sounds like she is more rooted. Maybe she has family where you are now? Or close friends? It is very hard to walk away from your life.

You two seem to have different goals at this time, and besides: it was really too soon to be talking about marriage, anyway. I think if you really want to pursue this beach thing, you should, but don't make her "bad" in the interim.

i never said she was bad or immature??? she snot close to her family or friends at all we had plans to make this move fro six months then one fight and shes afraid to go i understand why she is.. im just asking if i should put my dream aside and stay here just to be with her..

[bluesummer]

Never put your dreams aside for anyone. Period. Unless it's like, your mother who's terminally ill and needs home care or something. When it comes to life partners though, I think they should be looking past their little anxieties and discomforts to help you pursue your dream. If she's too selfish to do this, move on.

[Cain]

Never put your dreams aside for anyone. Period. Unless it's like, your mother who's terminally ill and needs home care or something. When it comes to life partners though, I think they should be looking past their little anxieties and discomforts to help you pursue your dream. If she's too selfish to do this, move on.

I agree. It seems like you two might not even make it through the arguing. What if in three years she breaks it off completely? You'll regret not following your dreams.

[shh!]

i never said she was bad or immature???..

Oops, you are right, but you did say "selfish", which is a quality associated with immaturity and is generally considered "bad".

[zoso]

Does she know this is your dream?
If she did care about you, and love you, she'd want you to be happy and "follow your dreams."

You said she's scared, though?
Try and assure her it will be all right.