My best friends 'wedding'

[rubenblades]

I have been friends with a girl for 5 years. We have been as close as brother and sister, she has helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. However, there has always been some sexual tension between us and we have made out a few times in the past. I've been crazy in love with her for 5 years, and one day (may 2010)she asked me to be her boyfriend. But I told her to take it slow cause I didnt want to ruin the friendship (stupid i know, but I love her so much it scared me).

Well since then we kept being very very close. Year in, year out. We talk every day. And like I said, I love her so much my soul burns. I've always seen her as the future mother of my children, however I never told her how much I loved her, I kept it to myself.

Now the big surprise. A few days back I called her, and she told me she has being seeing someone. It almost killed me. She asked me whats wrong. And so stuttering I admitted I loved her. (it was one of the hardest things I ever did, the words came straight from the heart after 5 years of not being able to tell her.)

(PS: I called this topic my best friends wedding cause I waited to tell her I love her untill she met someone else..not that she is goin to marry or anything)

She first told me that she had been waiting for so long and that I never had the balls to tell her my true feelings. She told me: "DId you think I would wait for you forever?".

But when I told her I loved her it seemed like it really touched her heart. She told me she would never choose a other guy above me, and that I was the most important man in her life. She told me the guy she has been seing doesnt mean anything to her. However she also told me she needed time to decide whether she wanted to start a serious relationship with me. She told me she was going to listen to her heart, but that the new dude would never influence her decision, cause this was between me and her. She also told me that she had moved on since she had asked me to be her boyfriend. That at that point she really wanted me, but that she has got to get used to the idea of being romantically involved with me again. I told her that she knew I could make her happy. She told me she knew that.

Now I'm waiting for an answer and its terrifying. At one hand I feel that I could lose a women thats like a sister to me. On the other hand she could make me the happiest guy on earth. I dont like the fact she has all the power right now, and I dont know how to handle this. I havent called her since that conversation, 2 days ago, nor has she contacted me.

Ow yeah, she told me that hearing those words from me (that I love her) almost knocked her out (I guess thats a good thing). She also told me she loves me. Still I really get the feeling she is not gonna give me a second chance in love, even if she told me she loves me back. Why would she have to think about it anyway..I need some suggestions about what to do cause at this moment it seems my heart is in her hands, and she can do whatever she likes with it. She sounded really sweet, and we even did the typical boyfriend/girlfriend thing of: you hang up, no you hangup... I know she loves me but still, if she really wanted to be with me, why would she have to think about it? It is a huge step however since we love eachother so much.

[smackie9]

You blew her off, and never bothered to pursue her.... she doesn't trust you.....why should she believe you this time? You are asking her to drop everything on a chance that maybe, just maybe you will have a descent relationship together. You made her wait and hope, now it's your turn to wait and hope.

For once stop thinking about yourself and put yourself in her shoes and try to understand how she must be feeling. You have so much to learn about relationships.

[HeartIsAching]

Now the big surprise. A few days back I called her, and she told me she has being seeing someone. It almost killed me. She asked me whats wrong. And so stuttering I admitted I loved her. (it was one of the hardest things I ever did, the words came straight from the heart after 5 years of not being able to tell her.)

She first told me that she had been waiting for so long and that I never had the balls to tell her my true feelings. She told me: "DId you think I would wait for you forever?".

But when I told her I loved her it seemed like it really touched her heart. She told me she would never choose a other guy above me, and that I was the most important man in her life. She told me the guy she has been seing doesnt mean anything to her. However she also told me she needed time to decide whether she wanted to start a serious relationship with me. She told me she was going to listen to her heart, but that the new dude would never influence her decision, cause this was between me and her. She also told me that she had moved on since she had asked me to be her boyfriend. That at that point she really wanted me, but that she has got to get used to the idea of being romantically involved with me again. I told her that she knew I could make her happy. She told me she knew that.

Ok, so you waited so long that she gave up and asked you out and you turned her down... after you allegedly loved her for 4-ish years.

Then she tells you that she's seeing someone and you finally admit to her that you love her, at which point she tells you that she's going to "make a decision."

It sounds to me as if you played a power game. Didn't want to ruin a frienship? Lamest excuse EVAR. You weren't really all that interested in her until you could disrupt her love life. Now she's playing a power game and making you wait on tenterhooks. She's going to choose you, but she'll make you suffer first.

Congratulations. Two game-players are getting together. This ought to at least be an entertaining relationship.

[rubenblades]

You dont understand..I love her. If I said no it was because I loved her so much I was scared of losing her. I know this is ridicilous, but thats how things can be when u love someone so much it hurts. like I said, I always saw her as my future wife, I just didnt had the f*cking balls to tell her I loved her. I'm just not good at such things. The same with my father..I never told him I loved him till I knew he was going to die..I always wait untill its so late..
And maybe ur right about putting myself in her shoes.

[Cerulean.]

I definitely like what smackie had to say. Don't be so impatient with her, let her have her time to think this through. Either way, you'll survive.

[Superfantastich]

sounds a bit like the guy who messed me around for nearly 3 years before I met my boyfriend. Its funny how it suddenly becomes serious once the girl isn't waiting on you all the time. Fast forward 12 months and this guy is still telling me I was "the one". My advice if she comes to the decision she wants to be with you, DO NOT MESS HER AROUND! or she will soon (like me) completely shut off and eventually find her perfect match and won't give you the time of day, then you will literally be posting to us on "your best friends wedding"

[HeartIsAching]

sounds a bit like the guy who messed me around for nearly 3 years before I met my boyfriend. Its funny how it suddenly becomes serious once the girl isn't waiting on you all the time. Fast forward 12 months and this guy is still telling me I was "the one". My advice if she comes to the decision she wants to be with you, DO NOT MESS HER AROUND! or she will soon (like me) completely shut off and eventually find her perfect match and won't give you the time of day, then you will literally be posting to us on "your best friends wedding"

Exactly right.