How to ask a girl out on a date?

[Chris Rose]

Hi I'm best friends with this amazing girl for about 5 years now. I've been deeply in love with her for a long time (with her knowing that, and not willing to be my girlfriend, saying she doesn't feel the same way as I do). Plus she wants to go out and date but hasn't found anybody yet. Anyways, I'm almost 100% sure that if she agrees to go on a date with me just once to try and that if she only gave me that one chance, I can make her fall in love with me.

One problem: How do I ask her out? Without creating tensions? We've had fights about our relationship before and everything gets well because we're too good friends. I just need to find a way for her to give me a shot at dating her once. I need to find an original, innocent, and unselfish way to ask her out for dinner for example. How do I do it?

Please, I'd love to get your ideas because I'm really out of them! Thanks in advance!

[Chris Rose]

I just need that one chance I know deserve! I don't know how to ask her though... How do I ask her to give me a shot? What should I tell her? Please, I really need an answer... Thanks in advance!

[Mish]

"Hey, let's go and see a '...' movie, you wanted to see it for a while"

Though honestly, if she has explicitly told you she doesn't have any feelings for you, I don't think you are going to get anywhere with her.

[Chris Rose]

"Hey, let's go and see a '...' movie, you wanted to see it for a while"

Though honestly, if she has explicitly told you she doesn't have any feelings for you, I don't think you are going to get anywhere with her.

Well she had feelings for me for a certain period, but then backed out... I usually do go out with her for movies, restaurants... But what can I do to let her know I want to go on a "date" with her? And not just a night out with a friend...

[funluvinsarah]

Maybe she will not want to go on a 'date' with you because she doesn't want to risk spoiling the friendship you have together. Just tell her how you feel about things instead of asking her out and going about it that way, at least if you tell her straight then maybe she will tell you that she likes you too or she will tell you that your too much good friends and she doesn't want to ruin that. Either way you will know so you can move forward.

[Chris Rose]

Maybe she will not want to go on a 'date' with you because she doesn't want to risk spoiling the friendship you have together. Just tell her how you feel about things instead of asking her out and going about it that way, at least if you tell her straight then maybe she will tell you that she likes you too or she will tell you that your too much good friends and she doesn't want to ruin that. Either way you will know so you can move forward.

True, we went through that and she said she didn't feel the same way... But we're very VERY close to each other and she's already had feelings for me before. She doens't seem to find anyone, plus she's down to go out. It's my opportunity to ask her out on a date. She knows everything about me. I just don't know how to ask her out on a date... I just need to take her out on a date, i need that chance! How do I ask her? Isn't there an orignial, unselfish and innocent way to ask a best friend out on a date?

[girl68]

You're not getting it. 2 people have already told you it's a lost cause.

I've had feelings for lots of my best guy friends at one point or another and just becasue I did at one point doesn't mean that door remains open. So what? She liked you... now she doesn't. Give it up. It's not like you don't know IF she likes you- you know she does not.

And boy are you going to ruin your friendship if you continue to persue.

[Chris Rose]

You're not getting it. 2 people have already told you it's a lost cause.

I've had feelings for lots of my best guy friends at one point or another and just becasue I did at one point doesn't mean that door remains open. So what? She liked you... now she doesn't. Give it up. It's not like you don't know IF she likes you- you know she does not.

And boy are you going to ruin your friendship if you continue to persue.

yes but we've been through a loooot and she's not giving up on our friendship whatsoever. me neither. she's really willing to go out with only me to do anything all the time (knowing i love her deeply) just as friends. It's just, i need that chance that i never got, ive never asked her out before and it's my first time. it's worth a shot: i really care for this girl, i really have deep feelings for her. I just want to show her what i got: girls, don't u sometimes give a guy a chance to date you? eventhough u don't have feelings for the person? She's really the type that begins having feelings when she spends time with someone: it's just, with me, it's been friends friends friends... i need to upgrade now.

[girl68]

I will disect your post peice by peice

yes but we've been through a loooot and she's not giving up on our friendship whatsoever. me neither.

This means absolutely nothing other than: you're a good friend to her and she doesn't want to lose you as a friiiiend. It does NOT mean: I love him, I want to be his gf.

she's really willing to go out with only me to do anything all the time (knowing i love her deeply) just as friends.

All this means is that as a good friend (see above) she will hang out with you. She probably enjoys knowing she's desirable to someone. (aka attention whore for you). Again, it does NOT mean: I love him, I want to be his gf. Nor does it mean: he's such a good friend that I am going to fall in love with him.

It's just, i need that chance that i never got, ive never asked her out before and it's my first time. it's worth a shot: i really care for this girl, i really have deep feelings for her. I just want to show her what i got.

This is how she sees it: you already had your chance. Whenever you told her you liked her... THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE. You didn't get to ask her out, becasue she basically told you not to. You ask "how did she tell me not to ask her out?" She told you by saying she doesn't have feelings for you and that it wasn't going to happen. THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE.

And, you already have shown her what you got. Remember when you said: she knows everything about me. That means she knows everything that you'd have to offer, everything that you'd give her and she STILL isn't interested.

If you insist on asking her out despite my mini lecture this is what will happen:
1) you ruin your close ass friendship because now you've tried to get her twice and she had to shut you down... twice. AWWWKARD.
2) she's mad at you becasue you just don't get it
3) she feels bad for you and feels like you need some space- away from her. She initiates the "space"

girls, don't u sometimes give a guy a chance to date you? eventhough u don't have feelings for the person? She's really the type that begins having feelings when she spends time with someone:

To answer your question: sometimes. To further investigate my answer: I at least have to be open to liking him; meaning I am, already at least a little bit attracted to him in the more-than-friends-sort-of-way. If I don't have feelings for him, no I don't give him a chance, why would I? I'm not even the least bit interested in him romantically.

I know the type that she is... Starts to fall for the guy when she spends lots of time with the guy. I am that type.

So how long have you been friends? Years right? So in thoose years, yeah- she liked you at one point. You both had your chance and for whatever reason it didn't work. Door CLOSED. Door doesn't open again. So even after this door has been close long ago you hope to force that shit open again. She's spent these last few years with you as your friend and those feelings have not come back- taking her on a "date" isn't going to open the door that's been long since closed.

Dude, move on. There are plenty... and I mean PLENTY of other girls out there.

[Chris Rose]

I understand... It's just i've been in love with this girl for about 3 years now and I just feel like i'm missing out. I'm obviously trapped loving her this much. I can't get her out of my head, it's incredible! Btw, the period she had feelings for me was no long ago (one month). I guess that's why i'm so concerned, yet i can't imagine myself forgetting her. She never tried me damn. I really believed she was the one. Thanks for the advice.

[girl68]

The question that will answer alllll my questions: How old are you? and her?

[Chris Rose]

we're both 18 why?

[d_j]

She's a heartbreaker like most of them kid. Cut her off and move on.

[girl68]

we're both 18 why?

Yeah, move on.
You're jsut a kid there will be LOTS of girls you will love. You're young, it's exciting, it's new... We were there, and almost every single one of us has loved more than the one hs boy/girl.

Just please don't turn into mr.desperate. She's already given you her answer- it is NO. And if you push the issue you're going to drive her away. ANd when she said she doesn't want to lost you as a friend she isn't lying... but that also doesn't mean you get to coax her into a date so that she can see you as a potential bf.

[carl1222]

You've been her friend for years, she knows everything about you ... what on earth difference do you think one date will possibly make? She has no spark for you ... sh*t happens.

Everyone is telling you the same thing .... it will NEVER happen between you, but you just can't accept it. The same thing has happened to most of us at some point in our lives, so we know. You have to listen and move on with your life.

The really bad news is that it's time to think about winding down the friendship as well because it's driving you crazy and wasting your time. Go out and find a girl who likes you back!

Carl.