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Thread: Question about love vs. lust.

  1. #1
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    Question about love vs. lust.

    So allow me to introduce myself. My name is Scott.

    I have just recently seeing a girl I met about 3 weeks ago. We have been out a few times, hung out at her house a lot. Probably like 4 or 5 times. I enjoy being around her, and she stays on my mind. Now let me also tell you this.. she is m first, quote/unquote girlfriend. She is the first female to show me affection and it makes me happy, it truly does.

    My dilemma. We have nothing in common. Nothing. <

    She doesn't believe in God, I haven't had sex becaue I believe God gives us that as the truest pleasure to be shared between yourself and someone you love. She knows this, it was one of the first things I had discussed with her when I met her (we met at a party, both rather tipsy).

    She reads, I don't read. She has socil problems like going out around people, I don't. She would rather watch tv and movies then be outside. I don't turn the tv on unless I am waching a moie I truly want to see. We don't have an common interest in common either, movies, music, foods, anything really. So I find it hard, after three weeks, to talk about anything. It seems like she doesn't want to hear what I have to say. She always says things like "that's good" or "i'm sorry" or "oh okay" She never really replies. it seems to me as though the only thing we have in common is holding hands, hugging, kissing. ya know?

    I guess my question is what should it feel like to be around her? Shouldn't we engage in general conversation, even deep conersation at times? Rather then just quoting movies as we watch them? Even movies... she likes movies like harry potter and lord of the rings... i like movies like the one and exit wounds and scarface. so if she is watching a movie im watching her, if i watch a movie she reads. I dunno i am just confused.

    Thanks for any advice if anyone gives some..

    Scott.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nocc1n View Post
    So allow me to introduce myself. My name is Scott.

    I have just recently seeing a girl I met about 3 weeks ago. We have been out a few times, hung out at her house a lot. Probably like 4 or 5 times. I enjoy being around her, and she stays on my mind. Now let me also tell you this.. she is m first, quote/unquote girlfriend. She is the first female to show me affection and it makes me happy, it truly does.

    My dilemma. We have nothing in common. Nothing. <

    She doesn't believe in God, I haven't had sex becaue I believe God gives us that as the truest pleasure to be shared between yourself and someone you love. She knows this, it was one of the first things I had discussed with her when I met her (we met at a party, both rather tipsy).

    She reads, I don't read. She has socil problems like going out around people, I don't. She would rather watch tv and movies then be outside. I don't turn the tv on unless I am waching a moie I truly want to see. We don't have an common interest in common either, movies, music, foods, anything really. So I find it hard, after three weeks, to talk about anything. It seems like she doesn't want to hear what I have to say. She always says things like "that's good" or "i'm sorry" or "oh okay" She never really replies. it seems to me as though the only thing we have in common is holding hands, hugging, kissing. ya know?

    I guess my question is what should it feel like to be around her? Shouldn't we engage in general conversation, even deep conersation at times? Rather then just quoting movies as we watch them? Even movies... she likes movies like harry potter and lord of the rings... i like movies like the one and exit wounds and scarface. so if she is watching a movie im watching her, if i watch a movie she reads. I dunno i am just confused.

    Thanks for any advice if anyone gives some..

    Scott.

    Oh yeah almost forgot. She doesn't like my grammer. She tries to correct me all the time, and says things like oh well that will change. So I finally told her I wasnt going to change how i talked or how i acted because i am just me i cant be anyone else. she seemed kind of agravated about that. just throwing that in there.

  3. #3
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    you don't always have to have everything in common, however you really don't sound like you both have anything at all in common and can't have a decent conversation. i would say it's time to move on buddy.
    Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching

  4. #4
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    I agree with ecojeanne there. Honestly there is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex too. I didn't have sex till I was 22 and he was my first boyfriend (well I got other problems now but that's another story) too. If you guys seriously have really NOTHING in common (which by what you wrote is true) than I'll say you're not in love, or lust after her but just want a companion. There are big differences. You need to find somebody that feels the same way you do and at the least have a few things in common. You can have differences but you gotta have a few things in common to make a relationship work.

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    Leave this one be. Opposing views of the supernatural are extremely conflicting. The belief in the existence of god is a conflict that is responsible for the pains of many. Here we have another example of the failure that religion is.

    I see through you like I see through a window, you see through me like you see through a mirror

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    Agnosticism for the win ; D

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Altair View Post
    The belief in the existence of god is a conflict that is responsible for the pains of many.
    And for the good things in lives of many

    Belief in God is not the problem here

    The problem as I see it is complete incompatibility. The guy wants to know what it's like to love somebody so he can compare if he's feelings are right for this girl. I'll take it this is due to the lack of experience. It's very simple. You don't have to force yourself to love somebody nocc1n. If it's not working out then let it be. You'll find someone else in the future.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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    Move along.

  9. #9
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    Is this what you are trying to ask-

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo"]YouTube - Haddaway-What is Love?[/ame]


    Because Haddaway definitely said it better

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mishanya View Post
    And for the good things in lives of many

    Belief in God is not the problem here
    You are wrong, Faith in god in fact is the problem here.

    For as long there is such a thing called religion, man will abuse it. Learn the fact that all religions are false regardless of which one. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner all excuse to cause such atrocities can end. Until that day comes, this evil done in the name of religion will remain, and WILL continue forever...
    Last edited by Jade Altair; 20-11-08 at 03:15 PM.

    I see through you like I see through a window, you see through me like you see through a mirror

  11. #11
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    as in not a single common interest?
    love,the greatest gift of all... =)

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