I told my girlfriend "do you need space" and she said "yes"

[didi38]

Hello,

I met my girlfriend a month and half ago. The relation started quite fast. We were seeing each other about four times a week. At first, she came really strong at me. Calling me everyday 2-3 times a day, invitation, and bring me flowers. I tried to take my distance so that not to overwhelm her. After about three weeks in the relation, I started to let myself go and show her more affection (i wrote her a poem) and things were going great. I have also told her several times if she wants we can slow down a bit. She said “No! Im like that, when I like someone I give everything I have and you should accept me as I am or leave me.” I told her I have no problem with that as long as we understand each other and we are in good terms. She started planning ahead, we should do that and that, go on vacation for a week to that place (brief she continued on projecting in the future for 3-4 months ahead). So I saw this kind of behavior, I started let my feeling loose. I started having strong feeling for her. She even told me “be careful, I am starting to fall in love with you”. I told to take the time she needs for that.

“The day she said that she wanted space”

She is going through exams now for her masters. Her first exam was on subject she works daily on. It is practically her job. Several times I asked her if she had reviewed well. She would say “don’t worry this is my job.. I know everything about it.” When she did her exams. A week later, she told me that she didn’t do as good as she wanted to do. so she was unhappy. I told her, we dont need to see each other at all for a while so that she can concentrate on her exams and that there are no problems from my side. She said “I appreciate it and not to worry, I’ll manage”. So I told her ok if you think so. Two days later, she had another exams. So I told to come by and eat at my place after her exam. That night she came 2 hours late. She was not herself. we talked a bit and she said “she is asking herself if she can be with someone now. she is not sure. and wanted to concentrate on her studies” so I asked her if she wanted space. she said she really really likes me and loves spending time with me and Yes she need a bit of space. So I told her to take the time she needs. I dont know if she blames me for her not doing as well as she wanted in her first exam. So I gave her space.

I sent her a neutral message 3 days later to see how she was doing. She replied by saying she was doing great and asked how was i doing. I told her I was doing good too and that I miss her. And since i haven’t received news from her. This is 8 days ago.

I dont know how to explain what happen and I dont know what to do. Is it over between us or not? Thank you for any advice.

[Boisdevie]

8 days is a long time. Sounds to me like it's over, fini. La vie c'est comme ca de temps en temps - merdique

[Petit Papillon]

And I think she's simply overwhelmed with her studies. New relationship is pretty timesucking so I would just wait till she's over with her exams and then contact her.

[IncognitoSir]

I wouldn't contact her, let her contact you. You're not a mind reader and you tried your best to do the right thing here. 8 days is a pretty inconsiderate amount of time not to contact someone you care about.....studies or not. It's not like she stopped talking to everybody in her life to study. She's leaving you in the dark right now, which isn't fair to you. I'd maintain the space and let her come to you.

[fun2bwith45]

I wouldn't contact her, let her contact you. You're not a mind reader and you tried your best to do the right thing here. 8 days is a pretty inconsiderate amount of time not to contact someone you care about.....studies or not. It's not like she stopped talking to everybody in her life to study. She's leaving you in the dark right now, which isn't fair to you. I'd maintain the space and let her come to you.

I second this