Relationship in pieces plus an unknown stealing problem... depressed..

[JasonVoorhees]

I dunno were to start.. were to finish.
Last time i posted on this forum was when? 4months ago.. when i was gonna dump my girlfriend and then gave her another chance..
Since then things have been going into pieces, especially this weekend..
She was unsecure , afraid i dump her again and much more, she was throwing me more and more away from her by doing that, and complaining i dont give her attention anymore...
Now , yesterday when i talked with my mother about how my relationship is going into pieces.. she told me she needs to tell me something, and today she did.
She told me she found stollend gold from her house like 1 year ago and only my girlfriend knew were it was.. she told me that she kept inside her for a year because she tried to give me hints about how my sisters found mising clothes and staff from there rooms, i got angry with her and took my girlfriends side and now was the right time to tell me. now, my mind clicked, and all these cases seemed connected together:
1) my mothers case.
2) we went for a holiday in a big house and when my best friend's girlfriend and my girlfriend went shopping , they found 50euros missing and my gf said she didnt have them.
3) When im at work i used to go out smoking and my gf sits in my place with the cash register and i found many missing money alot of times and never understood were it was coming from.
4)like a month and a half ago she got in trouble with one of the people she used to go clean the house at, they accused her of stealing a wallet of 300euros, And of course i took her side and told her not to give any money to these crazy people.

suddenly, when i heard my mothers story, all this cases came up in my mind and connected together.
sometime ago when i was finding money missing from the cash register, my instinct told me, its you and her and it could be her, at that moment i took it alot against myself and said how the hell can i ever say something like this? when she just bought me a playstation3 system and now i accuse her of stealing my own cash register?

But now.. i fear the worst, that my instinct didn't kick in for nothing... and as it seems, i was so much depres for the last 2months about my relationship going into pieces, i was starting to feel falling into a depresion, and now for the dessert, this thing comes up... i feel destroyed and totaly in pieces.. i dunno what to do.. i promised my mom that what she told me stays between me and her so i can't talk it with my girlfriend.. after my relationship is going into pieces and i hear my girlfriend just stole my mothers gold like her mariage ring and staff like this, how can i ever look the same at my girlfriend??? im completly clueless, any help will be MORE THEN apriciated... Sorry for the long storry and for the bad english.

[MerryH]

That sucks, but what can you do? You've got to break it off with her. You know that, right? You're not planning on staying and trying to work it out, are you?

[JasonVoorhees]

I Dunno what to do, im totaly lost.. thats the reason i came here... Im not even sure its her 100% stealing. Im sure of nothing im totaly at a dead end. And What if i dump her? what reason am i gonna give her? i promised my mom that its between me and her and i won't tell her a damn thing.. yet i really wish to talk it out with her.

[MerryH]

Im not even sure its her 100% stealing

99% sure, though, right? If she had only been accused of stealing on one occasion, then of course, you couldn't know for sure and you'd probably trust that it wasn't her. But it's been numerous occasions, with numerous different people - once you witnessed it yourself. How many times have you been accused of stealing? Probably never, if you're not a thief. It just doesn't happen.

If you dump her, you can give her all the other reasons why you've been miserable for months. You don't have to even mention the stealing thing, since I can almost guarantee you she's going to deny it. That's what thieves do.

[JasonVoorhees]

How come so few replies ? :S

[MerryH]

Because my responses were perfect and you don't need any more advice.

Just kidding. Since it's at the top of the page again, I'm sure you'll get more replies now.

[JasonVoorhees]

Because my responses were perfect and you don't need any more advice.

Just kidding. Since it's at the top of the page again, I'm sure you'll get more replies now.

yeah hope so.. and thanks for you're replies.
the situation turned worst, i talked with her, there was no sign of lies or whatsover..
i was gonna dump her but again i felt for her crying and she was telling me she's gonna suicide without me and cause she has no other people in her life and stuff like this.. im again more lost and still thinking about it :S Somehow deep inside its telling me i cannot be so harsh and abandon her like this after 5years.. But this can't continue cause i don't know whats gonna happen with this girl if we have to stop for some reason or another or i end up dead, what is this girl gonna do ? :S
24hrs before she was telling me if you continue like this we better stop, then i tell her we stop the next day and all this comes out..

[VincenzoG91]

Merry is correct.

I dated a woman who stole from me on a regular basis. I was in denial at first, but when my apartment was totally burglarized, the circumstantial evidence pointing at her was really strong. Specifically, I found some of my stolen property at her place. She blamed her friends, but I knew better. I tried to hang in there, for way too long, and she just couldn't help it. She was a drug addict and she needed her fix. Even after she did rehab, she eventually got into a different drug. I haven't talked to her in over six years, but she isn't in jail, so maybe she finally cleaned up.

There are several reasons why you need to dump this girl, aside from the stealing. She wouldn't steal from you if she really loved you. It isn't fair to your family, your friends or your employer that you are giving a thief access to their money and possessions. Now that you know, it practically makes you an accessory to the crime. And if she steals, she is dishonest enough to do other things, like cheat on you. The suicide threat is probably phony, but either way, it's a cruel form of emotional blackmail that should make you hate her, not love her. Do yourself a huge favor and dump her now.

[JasonVoorhees]

But is it fair to dump her about the stealing if there is 0 evidence and when i talked it out with her there were no signs/expretions on her face of any lying?

[VincenzoG91]

The lack of expression simply means that she is an experienced and proficient liar. This isn't an American court of law where you have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that she is guilty. There is a lot of circumstantial evidence that points towards her guilt, and the only reason that you won't accept it at face value is because you are emotional about her.

Google the term "Occam's Razor." It means that the simplest explanation that fits the facts is usually true. You can tell yourself that it's a bizarre coincidence that all of these stealing accusations and incidents happen when your girlfriend is around, that it might be some kind of conspiracy against her. But deep down, you know that she's a thief.

Or ask yourself some simple questions:

Do you trust your mother?
Or do you think that your mother made up the story about the ring?
Do you trust yourself?
Or did you steal that money from your own cash register?