So I was getting it on earlier tonight. I did everything wrong. I don't know what the hell happened. First we were making out and my cuff link caught in her hair. She cringed in pain as I struggled to untangle it. I took my jacket off only to tangle her hair in the button of my shirt sleeve.
After that I fumbled downstairs like a virgin and tried to put my fingers in the... er.. wrong spot. She climbed on top and I immediately went flaccid. Then she climbed off and I got hard and finally lost my load on her stomach. I didn't say anything. I was hoping she wouldn't notice. When she finally did a couple minutes later I just sort of said "whoopsee" and then told her I had to get going.
She was pissed. Hell, I did a better job my first time around.