Is my gf cheating?

[xxlxxl]

Hi all,

We've been together for two years. We live together. I'm 27, she's 22, we have a lot in common and generally are both chill. Lately there's been something bothering me.

She talks a lot on the phone (mainly thru snapchat/instagram/fb) to people. In particular, there is one guy that she is talking to quite a lot recently. To the point that it is a bit odd. If I were talking to a girl as much as she talks to him she would most certainly notice and have something to say about it.

Last night, the guy showed up at our place while we were at the zoo. I guess my gf told him last week that she would buy him a beer or something for his b-day and didn't think he'd legit show up (these two know each other from the past from work).
This made me a bit upset, so I kept nosing into it more and in one of the chat messages I overlooked it had something about "now i deserve a knob job lol" or something from the guy to her. Looking up what a knob job is it is oral sex.

Now, I don't really have any other reason to think that my gf is cheating on me other than she really likes sex. I'm pretty confident in saying that we have a very good relationship together and we are both rather happy with it. My thinking is, if there is anything going on, it is purely sexual related. Obviously, with this being said, this is still unacceptable, but it makes things 10x more difficult to catch as she has no interest in breaking up with me.

So, I tried to look into past messages today while she was at work. Unfortunately, they are vanished (damn snapchat). There is a random message from last year about how he was in her dream, but that is insufficient material, it just shows how long they've been talking. They are in day-to-day contact it seems on snapchat.

I did find a video from april of her dancing her booty off and slightly showing her nipples then being like "**** my nipples showed im changing" but this could have just been sent to her best friend (girl) instead of the guy, idk.

the guy sent her a meme in july that had sexual innuendos in it, but it could just be friendly.

I just don't know what to do. I don't think I can call her out on it yet, I mean, we have pretty consistent schedules. I go to school 5 x per week and when im not at school I'm with her or shes at work. We're always together, so I'm not sure how they would do anything unless it's once in a while I guess..

The thing that got me overboard was the 'knob job' comment that i vaguely saw (dont know context of it), and that he went to the house the other day, and that shes been somewhat secret about everything.

- - - Updated - - -

So, snapchat automatically vanishes messages once both have seen it, so it's possible that she's not being super secretive and it's just the messaging.

[richiro]

Question... she knows that you know that he showed up to the house while you were out? How did she handle that when both of you realized he come over? Did she explain why he came over? Has he ever been over since you guys have been together?

In general.. i dont' take online too seriously as people talk and tease tons over a screen. As you correctly surmised this isn't anything in and of itself. If she is physically seeing him or he is physically seeing her regularly and it either isn't being told to you upfront, or you find out they are and haven't been telling you - that's something altogether different. It still might be innocent - but why not tell you?

The sexy video and showing body parts - was it suggestive? I might give it a "bye" b/c she's highly sexual but just like you said - how would she be if you were doing the same with another gal?

The MOST IMPORTANT question for you (and be honest is) - it's not how your RELATIONSHIP is going that's important here. How is your SEXUAL life going with her? And you MUST answer that from HER perspetive, not your own. If she seems happy and its plentiful and she's initiating with you - then she's just a very sexual gal and its probably nothing (but it is VERY reasonable for you to ask that out of respect for you and yoru relationship, that she not share private things with other guys).

If its possible the sex between you is NOT really going that well - then you need to start focusing on that side of it and improve it. Thnk abuot her more when it come to the sex and what will fulfill her than yourself. Because if that's lacking, i can see if being likely she's looking for fulfillment sexually elsewhere if it's not being fulfilled at home (and yes you would be correct in thinknig it is for the sex only).

Your job in a relationship (either partner) is to fulfill the other partner and/or help to get them there. Becuase when you're not fulfilled at home (sex, emotinoally, support-wise, or otherwise) - you start looking outside for fulfillment in those areas.

good luck.