Girls with Boyfriends

[mindtraps]

I've fallen into the trap that I'm sure many guys have. I like a girl with a boyfriend. I want to first clarify that I don't intend on trying to break them up because I like her. I'm more or less curious as to what girls feel like when they have a boyfriend. Do you flirt with other guys as a friendly gesture? Do you do it to keep your options open, or do you just not flirt with other guys? I've seen all three and I'm curious what exactly goes on through a female's mind with all of them.

What is the right way to interact with a girl you like with a boyfriend? Right now I try not to talk to her because it's too painful. Is there a way to harmlessly interact with her without hitting on her? Like I said, I don't want to be a greedy asshole and actually hit on her because chances are she would hate it. If she didn't hate it, I would feel bad if she started liking me and broke up with him. I just need advice with doing everything possible to keep potential options open without being too assertive.

[girl68]

1) Do you flirt with other guys as a friendly gesture?
No, they flirt because they are NOT completely happy and or satisfied

2) Do you do it to keep your options open?
Yes, when unhappy or not completely satisfied you flirt so you know you still 'have it' or so you can reassure yourself that you will have options should you decide to leave your bf.

3) do you just not flirt with other guys?
If you are totally and completely happy and satisfied you don't flirt.

I have been up happy and un satisfied and I flirted- plenty though I never cheated... but now I am happy and satisfied and don't flirt.

[Illusional]

you like girls with bfs because they always seem like a better catch with them already being in a relationship. obviously they are doing something right to keep their man which is also what attracts you. thus, there is the challenge of obtaining this girl and the victory if you succeed.


raverboy

[mindtraps]

interesting...but at the same rate, I've seen couples that have been dating for a long time flirt with others...but nothing too intense.

[mindtraps]

and raverboy: you make a great point, but I started liking her before I even knew she had a boyfriend. However, I have liked girls with boyfriends before in the past largely because of exactly what you said...victory.

[girl68]

chatting and 'flirting' is a fiiiiiine line. I "chat" quite a lot but in every way it seems and feels completely different than what I was doing before...

[Illusional]

and raverboy: you make a great point, but I started liking her before I even knew she had a boyfriend. However, I have liked girls with boyfriends before in the past largely because of exactly what you said...victory.

so why didn't you hit on her when she was single??? that wouldn't been the prime time.


raverboy

[mindtraps]

i won't go into too much detail, but let's just say i started liking her hours after I met her. When I first started liking her, I didn't even know if she had a boyfriend or not.

[girl68]

umm that doesn't even come CLOSE to explaining why you didn't make a move... Guys hit on me all the time and they don't know I got a man... that is until I tell them.

[lahnnabell]

I flirt because I like attention. Call me an attention whore if you want. I don't owe anything to anyone. HOWEVER, I would not flirt with a guy I had to interact with on a daily basis, or one that I considered a friend. I flirt with guys I'll never see again, and I go home alone.

There is no real way you can interact with her without possibly looking like you're hitting on her. People need to understand that attraction is not controllable, but what SHE does with it is. If she's perfectly happy with her boyfriend and has no desire to leave, then she won't.

However, a lot of immature girls allow the fact that "Oh, another guy likes me!" to shake their resolve. So, if she's easily swayed or kind of flaky in this regard, be thankful she's not your girlfriend.

[xxazurexx]

1) Do you flirt with other guys as a friendly gesture?
No and if they flirt with me, I cut them dead.

2) Do you do it to keep your options open?
If I'm in love, there is no such thing as keeping my options open.



If I love him, I aint going nowhere and no matter how hot you might be. In a happy relationship I am totally oblivious to other men, have eyes only for my partner.

[Illusional]

umm that doesn't even come CLOSE to explaining why you didn't make a move...

i was thinking the exact same thing.


raverboy

[doppelgaenger]

I can't stand girls (guys too) in relationships who flirt. The fact that they are unsatisfied in their relationship, willing to flirt with other men, yet unwilling/incapable of ending the relationship, just shows that they are needy, dependent, and unworthy of trust.

[Illusional]

does your gf flirt behind your back DG??

raverboy

[doppelgaenger]

Girlfriend?