Boyfriend got a girl pregnant on break

[serapheva]

Ok, I've been with my boyfriend off & on for 4 years. By off & on, it was always me breaking up with him because I was confused, I'd think I didn't want him or that I wanted something else, it's unbelievable how many times I broke up with him. My family hates him so that had a lot to do with it as well... and every single time I started missing him and wanted him back he was there like that. He was always there for me. I even thought before that I wouldn't do that if I were in his shoes.. He started seeing a girl one time after I broke up with him and he left her for me.

So anyways... end of 2008 I got pregnant, on purpose, we were actually planning on getting married as well... I had a miscarriage and we started fussing a lot after that, that carried on for months, he kept saying that he was only fussing because I wasn't living with him. I kept telling him if he'd just stop I would move in with him.. he lives like an hour and a half away from me but I saw him all the time, I stayed with him a lot. He would always drive that far any time I wanted him to... There was this stupid family argument going on at my house in May/June of last year, I called & asked him to come get me because I didn't want to be there. He came all the way to get me and then my mom told me that if I left she wouldn't be there when I got back. So I got scared to leave... him and my mom kind of fussed at each other and I didn't go with him. My mom said things like she couldn't see how I could be with him after things he said but what he said was true, my mom's always been controlling and made me feel bad about myself. I was 24 at the time, I know I should've been out on my own... But I didn't see him after that, I broke up with him again after that but we got back together but I was still scared to see him because of my mom. So the end of July he breaks up with me and starts seeing someone else... I tried to get him back and he says he didn't believe me after all the times I left him before, that he always wanted me over everyone else but he was tired of it and was trying to be happy with someone else. She got pregnant, the condom broke, she just had the baby 2 weeks ago. He didn't leave her for me... She left him. They argued all the time... we started talking again like the week before she left, he was telling me how bad things were but he was trying to be there for her and the baby. So after she left we got back together, this was like the end of October... I've been living with him since, she's with her ex and says they're getting married, there was no chance of them getting back together. I would never have tried to break them up, especially with a baby involved... He doesn't know for sure that the baby is his, they're getting a paternity test done soon

I know that was long... I just... I was trying to work things out with him before he got with her & he was talking to her and would barely speak to me, just arguing with me. I know he would do anything for me... I try to talk to people because the whole baby deal is bothering me a lot. It'd be completely different if he had a child when I met him, but when we'd been together for over 3 years and had a miscarriage and then he has a baby with someone else... I want to be there for him and help him but I've been crying about it the whole time. Every time I think about the baby or the girl I can't help but think how I was trying to work things out with him and he left me and got with her and I cried over him so much during that time. I know I can't really blame him for leaving given how many times I left him. He'd asked me to marry him more than once. But I've been living with him since October and things have been great, aside from me being upset about the baby. I cry about it or get upset and I know it makes him mad so I try not to talk to him but then he knows that's why.. I want to be okay with it and help him but it still hurts so much... and I know this is long but I don't know, I was hoping to find someone kind of in the same situation that I could talk to or something because I really don't know what to do to get over this...

[doppelgaenger]

This sounds like way too much drama. You had a miscarriage and that's a sad thing for any potential parent.
But just be thankful that you don't have any baggage tying you down to this guy. You really should move on.

[LailaK]

I agree. Move on.

You are no longer going to be first in his life and it doesn't seem like you can handle that.

[Gigabitch]

That miscarriage was a second chance at getting away from this guy and doing something different with your life. It's a message from your guardian angel.

Heed the message.