Got it BAD!!! and she's under age too!!

[PleaseLoveMe]

Hello everyone, Let me start by saying "Ouch it Hurts BADD!!!"

Let me introduce myself and also get this off my shoulders,

I'm 31yrs. old , I'm at the point in my life that I want to settle down get Married, and all that stuff. 6'2" Alternating Blond and Brown Hair (Changes color with the season) and Alternating Green, Hazel, and Brown eyes (Don't even know why they change color)

Midway between my 20's freinds were always egging me on to go to stripclubs and stuff like that, I don't drink, and as for the veiw, I could get that with any girl I dated, so I didnt see the point in going. Then they hit me, with terms Like, hey Man you "Slippin'n the Salomi" and "Whatch out for those sloppy seconds".

Sadly I actually had to think about, and consider these terms (I'm too analytical)
anyways, Long story short, I came to the bad conclusion (not my fualt) that sloppy seconds (considering STD's) would be with any woman thats had sexual relations before I came around. Thats affected me psychologicaly in a bad way. So I've been celibate in a conclusion that I will only be with a virgin from now on (updated rescently to "Marry a Virgin")

Wheew.. now you know me let me place my Problem.

Favorite Restaurant, often see attractive, underage waitresses, no biggie, never been more than mildly attracted to them.

Latest Server, 16 yrs. old , same deal, polite conversation get to know each other, thats it.

Lately Conversations have been getting deeper, more personal, and more interesting.... BAMMMM!!!

It hits me, I've found the one, and *SOB!!* she's 16yrs. old (remember folks, I'm 31)

I tell myself, "ok, you've delt with this before, howed you get through it last time you became this infatuated??" Answer: "I DIED" of course thats no help, and this times, she's not even near your age group, think man, 6 yrs. ago she was only ten, of course thats not attractive, but now is what matters. what to do???

She'd probably get freaked out if I told her how I felt, but keeping it in is killing me. I want to get to know her even more, I want her to know more about me, many scenerios raced through my mind on what to do. about this "Ignore it and DIE???, Stop going to one of the only restaurants in Town???, Blurt it all out and Have her put a restraining order on you??, "what man... think..."

And also consider this (I'm still communicating with myself.. silently of course
do you want her sexually??? or how is this working, what makes me attracted to her, the fact is, what set me off.. was her convesation , Great Looks, intelligence (unlike my spelling) and a great Talker and good at listening. (man I'm screwed)

So.. I tell myself, Hmmm.. I could wait till she's 18, but she says, moment she turns 18 she's leaving this town, and her male friends have invited her to stay with them *Heartbreak*.. Now it gets worse for me.

So I think "Well I could start out slow, and take Her, her Mom and her Moms' Fiance to dinner and a show or something, do this a few times hang out with her more, maybe even go on some unchaperoned (but Chaste) dates (Remember I'm wanting a white wedding in the near future ) But she says she don't get along with her mom that much.

I'm hoping to court her till she's eighteen, but how? Should I even persue? Think it's not right??? same here, I keep thinking my freinds and family will hate me for dating so young, that is if thats what I do.


Now the symptoms of "BAD" by now It's been 1 month and a Half since it hit, lost 18lbs. unintentionally (new weight loss program, the "Heart Breakers diet Fad") all day long, every day, it's like I'm on a Long Rollercoaster ride all day long my stomache doing flip-flops, with the Devil at the controls and He's Got a Big Grin on His Face.

All day every day this goes on. My heart is constantly racing, I can hardly eat btw. I'm 250lbs. mostly muscle, for me to loose weight, is nice except it's actually eating into my muscles., well I'm 232lbs. now But if I go any lower it will adversly affect my health. Heck my arms and Leggs are even starting to twitch (the muscles that is)
and many of the things I was usually interested in doing, I can no longer find entertaining.

My intentions are good and true,
Oh wizard of Love Advice.
How Might I, this Girl Persue?

[vashti]

As wizard of love advice I tell you true
There are places for men like you
They will lock you up and throw the key
And Bubba's bitch you're gonna be.

[fuzzywolf101]

dude, this is gonna really sound very rude and i'm sorry for this, but i have to thank you...after having read this my current situation does not seem weird in the slightest and actually seems normal, wow...i'm not tryin to make fun of you or anything like that...ok here i go an attempt to help another(hopefully i don't make things worse), even i have to agree SHE IS TOO YOUNG FOR YOU, anyways on to the advice to at least ease the pain of dieing...go a head and stay friendly, nothing more, your thoughts(whatever they may be) could go away, she could develope them for you, and if she is 16 there is a good chance she ain't a virgin anyways(or at least won't be one for long)...you say you like the conversations, leave it at only that,



if you try to do what i'm sure everyone thinks you are going to do...enjoy the restraining order and don't drop the soap

[jurupa]

As wizard of love advice I tell you true
There are places for men like you
They will lock you up and throw the key
Under Bubba's mattress, who's bitch you'll be.

But yet he be
Only a bitch for day
When rest of the house
Learn what crime he committed
And see to it that he learns his lesson
As he be buried 6 ft under ground 3 days in.

[jurupa]

Also well done! I'm envious of people that can cook up meaningful lines that fit a form like that. Is there a name for that form?

Like Vashti said it was easy and took me 15 secs to come up with it. But as far as the forum or the structure of it, I can not tell you as the last and the only time I learned any type of poetry was 8 years ago in my freshman english class. And I this is the first time I have done a poetry or any kind since that class.

[Ellynn]

Haha, you guys crack me up!! So true though!

Yeah Mr. PleaseLoveME, find someone closer to your age. Leave the kids alone!

[jagmeow]

gross man.

[Gigabitch]

This girl's father is going to bury you in the desert. Gila monsters will eat your black heart.

Okay, maybe it's not all that bad, but dude, you need to get a grip. You're obsessed with someTHING, not someONE. This girl does not deserve to be the object of your virgin fixation. You know you're ****ed in the head. Work on ironing that out, and let the kid grow up without your "interference".

[Kiechi]

You should hook up with her.

[jagmeow]

No, don't listen to him. Your thirty years old man! Who said sloppy seconds were bad? Ever here of getting tested? I bet there is a awesome girl out there who you could hook up with. But 16? Think, two years ago I bet she was still playing with barbies man and listening to Spears. Get over it.

[Kiechi]

listen to him. Your thirty years old man! Who said sloppy seconds were bad? Ever here of getting tested? I bet there is a awesome girl out there who you could hook up with. But 16? fantastic, you both can play with barbies man and listen to Spears. Get over it.

i ficed your post

[jagmeow]

I fixed your post

I fixed your post as well.




P.S. Don't do it!

[Kiechi]

I fixed your post as well.




P.S. Don't do it!

do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you wont regre it

[jagmeow]

Don't do it
























































Don't do it

































































Don't do it!

[Kiechi]

noooooooooooooooo!!!!!do it!!!!!! think about all the porrige waiting for you on the otherside of the fence hahahaa