Helllpppp - is there a statute of limitations on past online behavior??

[oneiron]

Hello all - newbie/first post and topic. OK, so here goes.

I've posted off and on for the last couple of years on another message board. This isn't a board dedicated to relationships etc, but many of the posters know each other personally, dated, have met/slept together, had babies etc etc etc. Anyways, even though I talked a few posters offline (due to similar educational/professional pursuits) I always stayed away from developing any closer relationships due to 1) my paranoia re: online privacy and 2) i always kind of looked down upon online dating (little did i know!) and 3) I never posted in the sub-forum where most of the dating etc took place.

Anyways, an utterly random and innocuous message to a poster I did not know led to offline chatting - which eventually turned to hourlong convos online and eventually by phone. After some more flirting we met several times and to be quite honest they were some of the best days we've had in a long time. We hit it off perfectly, share all of the same interests, the same quirks etc etc etc (I'm sure you guys/gals have seen and heard this before). Even though we've been long distance for several months, we've been pretty clear about wanting to continue to invest in the relationship (we're on month 5). Now, my problem is this...

Recently, I was on the message board, bored, and realized that there was a search function. Obviously I was going to search and what I found was a bit distressing to say the least.
First of all I found out that she has quite the reputation on the boards. She's had explicit pictures exposed, openly dated a few posters, was rumored to have had sex with others, and had the reputation of being somewhat of an attention seeker. Some of the comments/posts she made on the message board were beyond generally explicit - she talked openly and graphically about her past lovers (including from the board) and the conversations/posts ran the gamut from bodily fluids (and where she preferred them) to just about any/everything else sexual that you could think of. no holds barred.

my question is that, assuming everything else is OK between us, is it fair for me to hold that against her? my problem isn't that i think what she did was whorish etc, because i dont like prudes to begin with, and if she was able to hold against me the things that i've done in the past then she probably wouldnt want to date me either. its just to me that deep down i'm just disgusted at some of the stuff she said/did ESPECIALLY in such a public forum. i feel very guilty thinking that way about her b/c we get along so well (in every way) and she has been very forgiving of some of my own transgressions (early on in relationship i maintained contact with an ex), but i can't just overlook them. should i let bygones be bygones, chalk it up to immaturity and act like it didnt happen? is there ANY way to bring these concerns up without making it seem like im basically calling her a whore?

thanks for any help you can offer and im more than willing to answer any further questions u may have in order to better understand my situation. excuse the rambling in my post as this is somewhat of a weird siituation for me. THANKS

[Junket]

So, she's a tramp.

It's not like you even have a relationship with this chick.

[oneiron]

we might be in the same city very soon. my new job is in the same city of the school of the graduate school that she's been accepted into and im trying to find out if a relationship is even possible. thanks

[Junket]

we might be in the same city very soon. my new job is in the same city of the school of the graduate school that she's been accepted into and im trying to find out if a relationship is even possible. thanks

So what?

It's not like you've been dating her for a while, can see that she's changed and it's an emotional hurdle for you to overcome.

You know from the get-go she loves male attention no matter where she gets it, and you're already struggling with that.

Don't bother.

[Gigabitch]

You can't hold it against her. She is who she is, right out there in the open. Take it or leave it, but don't punish her for it. it's not like she's lying to you or trying to hide things.

[LoveHurts09]

yh, that's a part of her, whether it's all true or not is not important... u have to live with her past and may have to live with that happening to u too... if it bothers u then it's not going to work.

[IndiReloaded]

I've come to the conclusion that meeting/dating from online isn't all that different from going to a bar or office party & finding out later someone is a tramp.

In fact its better. Often, in person, one must perform social niceties when one would rather not. They see you, you see them, dances must follow their forms unless one wants to be a total ass.

Online, especially when its anonymous, you just ignore those who are not interesting. What could be simpler?