So I guess it's over :(

[Cosmic]

I'm trying to get over a girl. Not just a girl, but someone I've loved and had history with for the last 3 years.
I stumbled upon this forum because I just really need someone to talk to. I need to vent.
Well where to start, that's always the hardest part.
So for the last 3 years, We had the typical good times and bad relationship. Unfortunately, I did start seeing someone else last summer in a very stupid move I made at a Tool concert. It was a very strange circumstance, and one that wouldn't be repeated for anyone in one lifetime. I didn't cheat on her though, I told her everything that was going on (and maybe told her a little too much). Looking back I think I told her so much about what I was doing with another girl because I really knew me and her (my ex at this point) would be together and that she was the one I wanted to keep. It only lasted a week and I was right back in her arms.
See what you have to realize here is that me and her have broken up a few times in those 3 years. Silly stupid stuff, but we'd always end up together again.
So once again on this occasion, she forgave me and we continued our relationship.
Well, the more I stay with this girl the more I don't want anyone else. I see her getting more beautiful every day. I love her more every day.
That's where the kicker comes in. Last Thursday night she left. She didnt call, she didnt contact me, nothing at all. And there was nothing to lead me to have a reason that she would want to leave me. Well, I went insane. I tried calling her non-stop, messaging her, "what's going on!!??"
Finally on Monday, she answers her phone. She acts like nothing is happening. "Where are you! Why are you ignoring me! I miss you! Come home!". She then says "I have to go" and hangs up.
Fast forward to today.
I come to find out shes been seeing someone. "A few times" she says. I ask where she's been staying and she tells me her friends house. "Have you slept with him?", "no, just kissing".
I ask her what's going on, what about us, what are you going to do, are we over? I get the "I need time".
Thing is, I hate the "time" scenario because I'm sitting here hoping and expecting her to come back and just waiting..
See, because it's not "we're over", it's not "I want someone else", it's "I don't know I'm confused".
How do you handle this with someone who you seriously are considering marrying? Someone who has meant the world to you, and can't see yourself living without?
I can't talk to her, she's still spending time with this other guy.
I think the best thing to do is to assume it's over for good and not wait for her to come back.
What do you guys think?
I just don't want anyone else......

[1averagejoe]

Unfortunately, I did start seeing someone else last summer in a very stupid move I made at a Tool concert.

Elaborate on this. What exactly happened. Your definition of cheating may be different than others.

Second stop calling her, you look desperate. Which is a turn off and annoying. It's done, it's over...she's seeing someone else why the hell would you want to be with someone who pulled this crap on you? I mean it's almost as bad as cheating. She left you for someone else without even telling you. I wouldn't be surprised she was seeing him while you two were still together, probably cheating on you. And needs time my ass, she's putting you on a leash in case things with this other guy don't work out.

[Cosmic]

you're right. I know I look desperate and I hate it. I'm trying my hardest to leave it all alone but it's not easy at all.
The problem is I really have no one to talk to about it. At least no one that cares enough about it. I'm pretty much alone with this incredible heart-ache and it's making me look desperate which is probably making things worse.
Thanks for your reply.

[surp]

Im sorry to hear that i know how it feels ive been there before and ive done same thing u did i kept calling trying to contract her and try to find out whats going on but that really doesn't make anything better it will only push her away

just dont try to contract her anymore no calling no email no text no nothing i know its hard to do but u will have to do it if she loves u soon she will try to contract u again but what if she doesn't? then u know u answer and by the time u realize u will able to live just fine without her

right now just go out hangout with some friends try to have fun but don't drink and drive!