Ladies, what exactly is the 'friend zone'

[steven001]

The 'friend zone' makes no sense to me as a guy. I don't think it makes sense to many guys. I've never rejected a girl who I thought was really cute and enjoyed hanging out with because I 'look at her as a friend.' Girls just have the most unexplainable reasons for not liking guys sometimes...i flat out don't understand.

If there were a girl who was really cute and fun and stuff who told me she wanted more i'd at least try to change my perspective. I feel like girls aren't willing to cross that friend zone line under any circumstance when it has been crossed. I don't get why you'd rather try dating a complete stranger than someone you know you have a bond with well.

I've had girls who used to be into me before we became friends but suddenly we became friends and it is lost? I can't see that happening with me and I don't think most guys can. If I don't want to pursue anything with a girl it's basically because i don't find her physically attractive, she's clingy/has no self confidence, or it's just awkward hanging out with her. Girls seem to make it so much more complicated...care to try and explain it to me. It bothers me when I don't understand things lol

[lahnnabell]

Sometimes there is a lack of chemistry. While YOU may feel chemistry because you're really into a girl, perhaps she sees things differently. It can also have to do with the things you mentioned like lack of physical attraction. Just because some girls find you attractive doesn't mean ALL girls will.

For me, I tend to friend zone guys right away when I feel that they are not my intellectual equal. This sounds heartless, I know, but it's for the best. I need stimulating conversation, and I find that A LOT of men are content to sit and "yeah" me to death, and that gets old. I need banter. I need someone to challenge my ideals (but in a nice way). I give them all a fair shot and I'll strike up conversation with anyone I encounter, but if you have nothing more to add to the conversation than, "Yeah, I know, right?" I'm gonna drop you.

I can be intimidating sometimes, and I realize this. What I also realized is that because of that fact, I need a man who will match me. I've yet to meet a guy who can tell me to shove it in a graceful and tactful manner.

[steven001]

Sometimes there is a lack of chemistry. While YOU may feel chemistry because you're really into a girl, perhaps she sees things differently. It can also have to do with the things you mentioned like lack of physical attraction. Just because some girls find you attractive doesn't mean ALL girls will.

Yeah but why? That's not how it works with guys...if you're attractive you're attractive. Are guys just more shallow?

For me, I tend to friend zone guys right away when I feel that they are not my intellectual equal. This sounds heartless, I know, but it's for the best. I need stimulating conversation, and I find that A LOT of men are content to sit and "yeah" me to death, and that gets old. I need banter. I need someone to challenge my ideals (but in a nice way). I give them all a fair shot and I'll strike up conversation with anyone I encounter, but if you have nothing more to add to the conversation than, "Yeah, I know, right?" I'm gonna drop you.

Yeah, true, but I feel like that's an over generalization. You can have great conversations with a girl who thinks you are physically attractive and wants to hang out with you all the time, yet 'doesn't feel anything' ...?????

I can be intimidating sometimes, and I realize this. What I also realized is that because of that fact, I need a man who will match me. I've yet to meet a guy who can tell me to shove it in a graceful and tactful manner.

Fair enough, but this tends to be the exception rather than the norm. Yet, this is pretty typical of girls.

[sookie6]

Maybe it's got to do with the fact that most women when dating someone tend to project themselves too much ahead in the relationship.

So the 'mariage material ' and 'do I want to have your kids' is subconsciously weighing heavy in the decision to date you. I used to think it wasn't the case for very young women but I am amazed every day how young girls want something very serious very early these days.

Whereas men go with the flow. As lons as they are physically attracted they are willing to give it a try...

It's probably not the only reason but it's one factor playing in this...

[the_robot]

Yeah but why? That's not how it works with guys...if you're attractive you're attractive. Are guys just more shallow?

It may not be how it works with you, but it is how it works with me, and that thing hanging between my legs says I'm a guy.

[xxazurexx]

Yeah but why? That's not how it works with guys...if you're attractive you're attractive. Are guys just more shallow?

The difference is, is that when men want a woman as a friend, it is usually because he wants to jump her bones. A man doesn't befriend a woman, that he doesnt find attractive or has no intentions for.

With women we can find men attractive, but they are not necessarily our type ........we can friend men, without wanting to jump their bones and the men we friend, are those we don't see in 'that' way.

Personally and for me, I've never had guy friends. There are just guys I was either into and guys I wasn't into and I never made friends of the guys I wasn't.

The guys I wasn't into, would be persistent though and came on even more strongly which made me uncomfortable.....for that reason, I dont have guys as friends because I learned that if you do, they ALWAYS want MORE and it's more that I can't give, that particular guy....
And I dont and have never led guys on, or kept them around as friends.....that gives false hopes IMO.
Men always know where they stand with me and if they dont take the hint.....then I usually disappear.

[the_robot]

The difference is, is that when men want a woman as a friend, it is usually because he wants to jump her bones. A man doesn't befriend a woman, that he doesnt find attractive or has no intentions for.

That is not true, I have/had lots of female friends I've never had any intention with other than being friends.

[xxazurexx]

That is not true, I have/had lots of female friends I've never had any intention with other than being friends.

As in everything, there are exceptions.....

Let me ask you something anyway, why do you keep these women as friends? Do you find them attractive?
And have you ever had a female friend who had feelings for you, yet you didnt for her?

[the_robot]

As in everything, there are exceptions.....

Let me ask you something anyway, why do you keep these women as friends? Do you find them attractive?
And have you ever had a female friend who had feelings for you, yet you didnt for her?

I keep then as friends because I like them as a person, have fun with them etc.. same as I keep male friends. And yes, I've found some attractive.
And about the feelings, as far as I know no girl has had feelings for me, so I can't tell.

[xxazurexx]

I keep then as friends because I like them as a person, have fun with them etc.. same as I keep male friends. And yes, I've found some attractive.
And about the feelings, as far as I know no girl has had feelings for me, so I can't tell.

Okay thanks

End of the day I guess we either see someone in 'that' way or we don't and just because we don't see them in a romantic light, doesn't mean we can't be friends.....as misleading as 'friends' can be.

I'm sort of in this situation anyway, only Im the female who is confused by the guys behaviour. Normally I wouldn't be in a situation, if my feelings were not being reciprocated, but he's an ex boyfriend. So t's not as if we have never been involved, as in the cases where it hasn't gone any further than friends.

[misombra]

the friend zone is a dreaded place for guys (usually) that aren't sexually attractive to girls, but are good people who should go find a girl who likes them in the non-friendly way, but they stick around desperately trying to escape the friend zone, but probably never will.

privileges of being in the friend zone include being told about her crushes on other guys and being told stories about the other guy and usually what an asshole they are after a while.

it's very difficult---->impossible to escape this dreaded zone. the only way to do it is be very bold and go for some affection. if you're rejected then get out.

[BubbleFreak]

What is the Friend Zone?

For me, it is simply when I like someone because they are fun to hang around, there's some sort of connection and there is a mutual liking, whether they are a guy or girl. I guess if I am friends with a guy who I am not physically or mentally attracted to, that could place them in the just friends zone. Anyone could potentially be my friend, but it takes some chemistry to be more than that and maybe the girls that have placed you in the friend zone just don't feel that with you.

[xxazurexx]

the friend zone is a dreaded place for guys (usually) that aren't sexually attractive to girls, but are good people who should go find a girl who likes them in the non-friendly way, but they stick around desperately trying to escape the friend zone, but probably never will.

privileges of being in the friend zone include being told about her crushes on other guys and being told stories about the other guy and usually what an asshole they are after a while.

it's very difficult---->impossible to escape this dreaded zone. the only way to do it is be very bold and go for some affection. if you're rejected then get out.

LOL, that is totally true.

Once a woman sees you as a friend, you rarely will ever be anything more than a friend.

On the offchance you do make it to more.....she was attracted to you in the first place, but was awaiting you making the moves.

I think back to guys I could have made my friends and there is no way, but no way, I'd have ever considered a relationship with them, back then, or now, lol.....I just wasn't attracted, period!

[Gigabitch]

It's where guys are assigned the brother/ protector role because they didn't make the cut.

[misombra]

another privilege of the dreaded friend zone is that the girl will cock block you because if she doesn't want you, nobody else could possibly want you either.