Need ex girlfriend advice please.

[glm1288]

HI, I appreciate any help.

Well three years ago my GF walked away from a year and a half relationship. I did love her and saw a future with her, but it seemed that she didn't. We got into an argument one day over text and then never heard from her again.

Here's where it gets complicated... Her family and mine are really good friends. She's a neighbor of mine and only lives right around the corner. After the break-up their was no communication whatsoever. Not even a "hi" We haven't spoken since we broke up which is now coming up on three years.

I have only seen her about half a dozen times since the break up. Now 3 years later my mother is holding this church get together at my house every Thursday and she comes along. I have caught her starring at me a couple of times, but we don't even talk.

I was just wondering if I can get some advice as to why she now 3 years later shes coming over and starring at me? I have dated since and so has she. I don't know whether she's with someone or not. ps. I have also caught her staring at me while I drive by her friends house. thanks. We're both 26 by the way

[Whisteria]

What was the reason for breaking up? It seems like it was not legitimate to break up over a stupid text, it was a misunderstanding that caused all bottled emotions to run out. She stares at you because of the change that has occurred over the 3 years and definitely has thought about you from time to time even if she has been with another guy. I'd assume you have thought of her a few times randomly? Have you tried talking to her or even serving her from food? See how it goes, don't be afraid or let emotion get the better of you, if she snobs you when your being nice then pull her aside and talk to her in private. Sometimes to find the answer you must face the problems you do not want to, that way you can get past and move forward without hesitation.

[Wakeup]

She's looking at you because you're there. If you want to talk to her then when she comes to your house again say "Hi" to her and see how she responds. If she ignores you then make sure you're out of the damn house when she arrives (or stay in your room).

You're 26... are you not out on your own yet?

So: What is it you want from her? Do you want to start something else up with her or do you just want to be able to be civil to one another. First you have to know what it is you want before you can reach your goal. Just being her friend is a waste of your time and any new girl you get with won't take kindly to you being BFF's with someone you once had romantic notions for so don't bother with her if it's anything less then what you actually want with her.

Anything you read about her state of mind and what she is thinking is purely speculation and means sweet eff all so just initiate a conversation with her if thats what YOU want and then judge by her response after that.

[glm1288]

We would argue because I believed she never gave me time with her. She had her daughter who I would call my own and it was difficult finding alone time. She never really made an effort and it came to the point where my patience ran out. We would argue over this so much she told me next time we argue I'm calling it quits. sure enough we argued and from then on there was no contact. I called her once and she didn't answer. I didn't persue her because I figured if she's willing to leave then no point in chasing after her.

And now after 3 years she starts showing up at my house, I just think it's disrespectful and weird

[woody]

She has a daughter and wasn't able to spend enough time with you? Interesting.
You claim you treated the child like she/he was your own yet you weren't able to carve out enough quality time with the Mother? I would have thought walks through the park with the baby stroller would have worked fine.

Raising children is a full time job.
Perhaps the Mother realized she couldn't raise two children at a time.

[glm1288]

Thanks for the insult, exactly what I came in here for.


No, I was not a child. I would do anything and everything for her and her child. All I asked her was 1 Day out of the month to be just the two of us. Childish and irresponsible of me right?

[Wakeup]

^^^ yes if you asked for it and she didn't give it to you then she didn't value you as much as you valued her and that's a GOOD reason for YOU to have ended it.

She's obviously quite over the entire situation and is enjoying the church social at your house quite fine, without feeling any kind of post breakup bullshit THREE years later. Time for you to get over it and on with your own life without holding onto all this baggage, all this time later.

Does she bring her daughter with her when she comes to your house?

[glm1288]

She does bring her daughter along. Here's the thing though... the way we met was because she would come over so often for prayer and later told me that she only showed up as much as she did was to see me. Now 3 years later she comes to my house for prayer and stares at me. She walks by me with her head down and when o caught her looking she didn't look away right away, I gave her a "wtf are you looking at" look and she slowly put her head down.

I've asked some of my girl-friends about my situation and they all said that in no way would they go over their ex's house specially the way this ended.

I guess it might just be me, but I guess if you been with someone for some time you can tell much from their eyes. I'm not reaching for anything, but would any of you would go to an ex's house even years after leaving them out to dry without giving them reason?

[woody]

glm,

Okay, yeah, my bad. I apologize for the insulting overtone regarding the whole, raising two kids, all that.. Yes, maybe a little sensitive on that. Chalk it up to being raised in large part by a single mumsy; still, not cool to throw that at you and I am sorry.

Is it a little odd she's coming over after three years of silence and no closure as to why you two broke it off?

Yeah, a little.
but maybe this is simpler than you think. Could be she's curious as to how your doing. Maybe the child misses you too.
Perhaps she is testing the waters to see if you and the child could re establish a relationship, especially if you were 'Dad' for awhile. You know it's not easy losing a Father figure even when your just learning how to walk.
I remember being very young and when my Mother would date the occasional man, after a time of seeing him around, I'd ask if he was my Dad. Freaked most of them out and many headed for the hills. hehee. Yup, it takes a strong and unique type of man to jump into a relationship with a single Mama of a toddler.
Perhaps the child is missing you and Mom is doing what she can to find some amicable way to help her child.

I don't know.
anyway, just talk to her man. Hey, you must miss the baby too.

good luck and again, my bad on the low blow.