Father and Boyfriend

[Cheba]

My parents and him.

I’m not sure what the demographic for this forum is but I hope I won’t be bothering you with child’s play here.

First of all, I’m 22, just graduated college, looking for job in this lovely economy and I’m still living at home because I cannot afford to move out yet. I’ve been with my guy for over a year and I sleep over his house on the weekends almost all the time. My parents are pretty liberal and don’t mind this or ever say anything. Their attitude is “do what you want” which turned out OK for now.
Lately my father has been expressing his disapproval of my guy. He’s not a bad guy, college grad, works. I see his family all the time, communicate with them, talk a lot. But my guy has only spoken to my dad specifically once for over ten minutes throughout the long time we have known each other. My guy’s 27. We live in a very small, crowded place where coming over makes everyone squeeze into corner s.
I don’t know how to explain this to my father because I believe he is taking offense at my boyfriend because he never hangs out with my parents or makes an effort to talk to them. He (my father) started to say that he’s (my boyfriend) a disrespectful person because he never even chooses to come in and make an effort in communication – which probably from a father’s point of view seems inappropriate of seeing each other and the father not knowing who his daughter is with.
I confronted my guy about this and he says your place is so small it’s uncomfortable to come in just to hang out. On one hand, I feel like he’s making excuses not to see my parents, but on the other hand, I understand that there isn’t that much room to relax and feel comfortable.
I’m just not sure what to do or if I’m making a big deal out of it or if I should try to fix this. It kind of hurts that my father is starting to feel this way because I want him to be happy.

Thanks to anyone who was able to read (and understand) this!

[carl1222]

Why not have your folks over to his place once in a while, or meet at an inexpensive restaurant once a month or so?

It DOES sound like your bf is avoiding spending time with your dad.

Carl.

[vashti]

Sorry, hun. I'm with your dad on this. Your boyfriend is supposed to be trying to get in "good" with your family, and if he loves you, he should care that this is important to you.