Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

[bohemiandonut]

She's been saying she thought we should break up for a while now, but I've been doing a good job of delaying the process.

She came over Thursday to "finish our conversation." As she left she asked for a goodbye hug. I didn't respond. Before she could walk out I called her back over to me. I held her hand and told her I would miss her.

I told her she would miss me, too. I told her she could come back over at 11 and she said she shouldn't. We hugged and as she started to cry I kissed her forehead and her face, she reciprocated and we made out for the next 5-10 minutes, in an emotional fog. I told her I would pick her up at 11.

-"Okay."

I pick her up at 11, we drive back to my house and have sex until late the next morning. She leaves.

Two nights ago I went over to her house at 3:30 am.

Now I just called her and she wouldn't answer.

This is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my greasy paws on. During one of breakup convos she said (in tears) "and I want you to worship me a little bit!"

Vain? It'd be worth it if I could continue our physical relationship. (Ya ya I like her as person bla bla bla.) How do I lengthen our sexual contact? Should I say I'm okay with just being "friends" because I want to see her?

Help.

[vashti]

I don't get it. Why did she break up with you if she planned to continue sexual contact? It sounds like she is giving you what you want...

[MOCAMBO]

Yes I too do not understand , you don't want to break up because of the sex or are you being friends with benefits here?

[bohemiandonut]

I don't know. I just don't want to be in the position I'm im now, with her calling all the shots and me a helpless lonely penis.

I feel like I should stop calling and going over to her house BUT I want to see her. My pride is battling my heart.

[Gigabitch]

This is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my greasy paws on. During one of breakup convos she said (in tears) "and I want you to worship me a little bit!"

Well, what does she mean by "worship"? What's the problem, here?

I told her she would miss me, too.

You're a difficult guy to break up with. I'm intrigued. Would you be willing to list her complaints?

[Junket]

Should I say I'm okay with just being "friends" because I want to see her?

Help.

Sure.

But eventually the sex will be withdrawn too.

Milk it, if you're already so inclined.

[Jimmy1218]

My pride is battling my heart.

no, your dick is battling your undies.

[bohemiandonut]

G: Worship... I wasn't sure. I just laughed at her. I don't think she really appreciates how I treat her... I was her "first everything" (boyfriend, lover, kiss-with-tounguer) so she doesn't have much to base it on. I think she feels (unconsciously) that she should be able to get away with anything and get nothing in return but a kiss on the forehead. But I didn't deal quite so well with her self-absorption and thoughtlessness.

Her complaints were:
1. I make her feel bad.
2. She needs some time to herself.
3. Our relationship stresses her out.
4. We don't communicate well.
5. Imaginative literary permutations of the above.

All this but she really wants to remain friends (after a 2-week hiatus with no contact). She "likes me as a person", "doesn't want to shut me out," and is still sexually attracted to me (she wouldn't admit this last bit was mere courtesy, btw.)

I agree mostly with #4. I do my absolute best to make sure everyone I communicate with understands my exact meaning. When I'm vague or nonresponsive it is because I want to evoke a response. She was vague and nonresponsive CONSTANTLY, and it irritated the hell out of me to the point where once I asked if she was trying to be a bitch or just oblivious to how she is coming across.

My main beef is theeese:
1. I feel I should have been the one to break up with her, but she was too attractive for me to ever make that call.
2. She always used to ask me why I never said I loved her. That led to excruciating conversations on my thoughts on The Love and eventually starting to tell her I loved her. Not soon after this began, she decided to basically never say it to me again.

Because of this, and her enforcement of a non-sexy-friends-maybe-after-2-weeks "arrangement," I sent her this text message this morning at 6am:

"Next time, don't trick me into loving you."

::
::exhale::

[Gigabitch]

From what I gather, she is outclassed in many ways, here. Clearly, she is neither more clever nor more focused than you are, and lacks experience. She doesn't even have a chance. Your relationship is so unbalanced; all she has is her phenomenal cuteness to try to stay afloat. Of course she wants you to worship her. It's all she's got.

That text message was so ****ing unfair. You're an emotional guerrilla.

And what are, if I may ask, your thoughts on The Love?

[bohemiandonut]

You're simply adding stock to my ammunition pile here Giga, so be careful. A young girl's pride is indirectly in your hands.

The thing I don't get about love is, everytime I think I've got it, my penis claims otherwise. I honestly don't think I will be able to experience "true love" for a woman unless I am castrated. I am so bitter about about not having the sex that, though I care about this girl, the love is really nowhere to be found.

I.e. If I found out, say, she was dating some guy I knew right now, I wouldn't lovingly ask her how it was going. I would track the guy down and make sure the only type of love he would be experiencing from then on was the truest, most castrated love possible.

Oh about the text. She responded late last night:
"I don't have tricks. Rest well."

PATRONIZING C-NT! sorta. well I responded:

"you forced it."

Her - "Then it's only sad for me."

end.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I'm going to play the Old Bat card now. Dude, what are you, 20? You probably won't have The Real Thing for another 5-10 years. Wait for it. It's worth it.

And quit listening to that penis. Last one I listened to made a mess in my ear.

[bohemiandonut]

Wait for it?

Why can't I have it now, while it's still pink and supple?

[Gigabitch]

I don't make the rules. Youth is for psychotic obsession.

[bohemiandonut]

UPDATE:

Wed, Sep 5th: Receive 2 text messages:
1. "(Donut)! Ahhh! Good Night.
2. "F-ck"

Followed by 4 missed calls.

Remember she wanted to not talk to me for 2 weeks. I told her girls always break up with me and then start calling after 3-4 days. Has she no ego?

I haven't responded nor decided if I should. Any thoughts?

P.S. - Maybe drunk? (She's not really a drinker)

[IndiReloaded]

I don't make the rules. Youth is for psychotic obsession.

C'mon DB, this is hint no.2^.

If the penis wants, and no deep love is to be found the solution is obvious: find a new girl for the penis. Maybe more than one to spread out the obsessive tendency.

Feel for you, DB.