Instagram trust issues

[Thomas90]

Hi,

My name is Thomas And I am 26 years old.

I've been talking to a girl for almost one year. She is been very very very open to me, I never had any trust issues with her.

Now after 9 months, she gave me her instagram account (she gave me it before too) and I told her that I will follow her and also told her my account.

I told her around 10.00 AM that I follow her with the account(she is private). I saw at that time that she had 300+ posts and followed 300 people when I requested the follow. At around 11.00 AM she had All of a sudden her posts dropped down to 140 and she followed 250 people and then she accepted me. I even saw her literally deleting posts between that time.

The problem we are having now is this and that's also the reason why I want you guys to comment on it: She thinks I am crazy for being suspicious in this case while I think that everyone who would experience this would be suspicious.

Who is right? Would you be suspicious in this case? Am I crazy or is it normal?

Thank you.

Best,
Thomas

[TheEvilJester]

Who is right? Well, my first answer is who really cares? I don't mean that to sound rude, I simply mean "Who is right" is really not what is important. What is important is if anything wrong was done, or if this is enough of a red flag to cause you concern.

My second answer, though, is you really are both kind of right. I definitely understand how you feel. I most certainly think any of us would have the same sort of "What the heck is going on" kind of reaction in the same situation. I think that confound most of us and there'd be at least part of us wondering what they were trying to hide.

....Yet at the same time, she is also right that you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Now, obviously you are not a mind reader and I am not a mind reader.... so this is only an educated guess on my part. My thought would be this.... It's probably pictures of her and an ex she never quite got around to getting rid of before. If I had to guess, I would think she probably wasn't intentionally keeping them due to any lingering feelings, she just simply hadn't gotten around to removing them. But now, with her new fella about to follow her profile (I am assuming you two are dating or at least heading that way, but you weren't 100% clear on that) she didn't want him seeing all these pics of her when she was happy with some other guy.

I would also further guess that it isn't that she had any intention of hiding her past and/or past relationships from you, it's just she didn't want it posted all over her profile when she's moved on now. Again, all of that is just an educated guess on my part. Partially because I sort of did that myself not too long ago. Not exactly the same thing. I did it as a sort of empowerment thing FOR me, not for any new relationship or potential relationship because I had none at the time. But, after my split with my ex, once I'd moved on, I decided it was time to remove all trace of her from my social media.

I didn't do it out of some need to forget my past, I didn't do it intending it as spiteful. I just saw it as being a part of my past that no longer deserved a part of my present or future. Similarly, though, I also thought if in the EXTREMELY unlikely case that I ever did have a new potential girlfriend, I wouldn't want her seeing tons of pictures of me and my ex. I would have absolutely NO intention of hiding my past. I'd be happy to talk about my experiences if she wanted. I just don't feel the need to have potential love interests slapped in the face with tons of pictures of me looking happy with an ex.

So, again, that is just an educated guess on my part.... but I think that shows you one potentially very innocent possibility. It is certainly entirely possible that you are right to be uncomfortable about it and she IS hiding something. It's just, I wouldn't necessarily jump to that conclusion. Especially not over this. If she IS hiding something, there will be other signs. So, for now my personal advice would be just to continue as you would have anyway, but at least do keep an eye out for any further suspicious signs. Hopefully you will find none. Good luck to you either way.

[Thomas90]

Thank you for your reply!

I really appreciate! We are actually pretty close and getting engaged at the end of the year. It's not a relationship because in our culture we only do marriage.

I don't think those are pictures of her with her ex. The problem is actually sorted out because I asked her and she send me pictures of her archive.

It was just a coincidence as how it went out.

Thank you for your reply!

[breathe123]

Good you got a happy resolve, maybe it wasn't you she didn't want to see since she showed you them privately, maybe your friends or family incase you showed others her IG page.

[TheEvilJester]

Glad to hear it turned out to be nothing after all. It's funny because the timing of her doing that was kind of strange... but sometimes life is strange. Turns out apparently the real reasoning behind it was apparently even more innocent than I'd guessed. If she showed you the pictures she'd removed, then obviously she truly had nothing to hide.

[GLYC]

I wouldnt have done this, it's a woman you're talking to? Unless she's a girlfriend, who cares. It's her decision, who cares even if there was ex boyfriend pictures or pictures with other men. She's trying to clear it up so that things look good for you. Which is a good thing.

I wouldnt have confronted her about this, but what's done is done.

I actually agree with her, I think you're being over concerned about it.

It's a good detective move on your part, but I wouldnt have acted on it.