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Thread: Free hugs for helping RanGer's love life

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    1

    Free hugs for helping RanGer's love life

    Hello all. I know I should post my introduction in the "introduce yourself" sub forum but I'd rather keep in this thread.
    So anyway, I'm a guy, 20 years old, a student of "applied boredom" also known as "computer science", and I've decided to enter the dating scene. now I've never had a real girlfriend before, and I'm pretty sure I've never had sex either (like 90% sure). If I had to describe myself with only 1 word it would have to be eccentric. Otherwise I would also add nihilistic, cynical, bored, goofy, childlike and energetically sleepy (yes, I know...). My only real passion is Ju Jutsu, a martial art that I love dearly and train diligently. I also have BDD which makes it hard to accurately judge my body image, so you guys and girls are gonna have to help me out with this a bit.

    Moving on, there is this girl (go figure), 18 years old, that I have a crush on. We met when I tagged along with my room mate to go out binge drinking. He's known her for some time and he introduced me to her and her sister. Long story short, we went to some club, I got drunk, did some embarrassing dancing moves, including the robot... twice, drank some more and started messing with people's heads a bit and then we went home. My room mate told me that she gave me lots of compliments while I was dancing (why I don't know, I danced the robot, lol) and she asked him for my number. The next day she added me on Facebook and for about a month or so things were kind of quiet. We talked a couple of times, nothing much. She always ended the conversation saying she was busy, so I thought I was annoying her and kind of backed off. But for the past two months she's been commenting on almost every wall post I wrote and picture I uploaded, saying things like "now that I know your room number, I can come visit you any time I want" (after uploading a picture of my dorm room doors). Now call me crazy, but this does make me think she is kind of into me.

    Anyway there is this movie I'd really like to see and decided I want to invite her to come with me. I was planning on dragging my friends along but then decided I could make this into a date. The movie is this Tuesday and I'm planning on asking her out today, over Facebook, and I need help. I don't really know how I should do it. Should I send her a private message (seems kind of odd to me) or should I ask her on chat? When should I do it? I know she's on FB from around 23.00 to midnight (like me). Should I ask her then? Seems more "private" that way because no one else is on then. And what exactly should I say to her? Should I be like:
    "hey"
    "want to go to see a movie on Tuesday with me?"

    or perhaps
    "hey"
    "there's this awesome movie on Tuesday called men who stare at goats"
    "would you like to go see it with me?"

    And if she says no, how should I respond? "okay I'll ask Cathy(not her real name, but I think she's jealous of her) then" or "okay I'll go by myself then" or "oh ok then, maybe some other time" (if she says she's busy or can't come for some other reason)?
    This dating thing is so confusing. It's like playing chess without knowing the rules, in the dark, while you're drunk.

    Anyway, help me out please. If she says yes we'll move on to how I should act and what I should wear on the date itself.

    Thanks for reading through all of this, I do apologise for my spelling and grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,030
    RanGer, please do not ask her out by sending a message over facebook. It's one of the worst ways to ask a girl out. Chat? A little better but calling her or in person is how you should do it. I'm sure you have this feeling that she's into you and that's great but try to just relax and think of it as going and hanging out with some friend. This way you won't have this pressure of the first date so many people have. Good luck!

    As for how you should ask her? The way you have it is fine. If she makes some excuse just say something like "Ok that's cool, maybe some other time"
    Last edited by Asip4u; 30-01-10 at 09:41 PM.
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    273
    I agree- tell her you want to call her (don't ask permission- you are a MAN!)- get her digits- call her up, and tell her that you would like to hang out, and ask if she heard about the film and if she wants to watch it with you this week...it's not hard- the girl likes you. She wouldn't do all of that if not....

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    129
    i agree with everyone else - i am only commenting cos of the 'free hugs'

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