Regrets and mistakes? Or just natural?

[Spardus]

Hi there, first time posting on here , but have been reading it for a while. Got my own dilemma I could do with some help.

Me and my girlfriend split up a little over 2 months ago. We were together for 2 years during that time we split once as we just had some differences and needed some space and we got back together and worked through it and was happy. After a while cracks started to show and little arguments every now and again turned to big arguments every week then everyday. Eventually it just lead to breaking point and me saying I could not do it anymore and we split. The break up was pretty bad a lot of shouting and friends getting involved to diffuse the situation which lead to us both having a go at each others friends for getting involved.

Here is where the problem is. The past two days I've been catching up on some missed television shows, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Homeland etc (bit of a geek really) and it just hit me all of a sudden, we used to watch them together and suddenly I didn't have that person to discuss the show with. To laugh with and to talk with about it and get excited with. I thought '' Oh it's just natural that you miss someone close to you '' and didn't think anymore of it.

Last night I was just laying there for hours going through everything about the relationship, good and bad, and although we had problems I had never realized that maybe I caused some. I could have been more affectionate and I could have been more attentive to her needs I could have shown her and told her I loved her more than I did which was rare. We used to go places and share things together and had the same interests and same sense of humor that I don't get with anyone else.
Everything was great but I thought that the grass would be greener and it's not.

Going away together and seeing different things was only pleasurable because I had her to share it with because we enjoyed the same things, I felt so relaxed around her and so confident around her that I could be myself, embarrass myself for her amusement and laugh together about it. Get drunk together and make a fool of ourselves and just generally do what two people in love do but at the end of the day still know that she was for me.

I think I really messed it up this time, she has gone away with a few friends (facebook tells me so etc) and I haven't heard anything from her so I don't know if she is back. So I don't know if it's a good idea to get into contact again, to start talking again and just see if she would be willing to give it a go, I'm just not sure 100% at all and looking for advice. My friends would say not to but I know they only what they think is for the best and not sure they understand just how I feel at the moment and only heard one side of the situation.

Any advice would be so so helpful right now.

Thank you so much for reading hope you guys can help me

[michelle23]

Follow your heart. If you do get back together-you both need to find a better way to resolve conflict and stop all these ridiculous arguments. Its not healthy to fight the way you did and that will all have to stop. Learn to understand each other and appreciate each other.

[Spardus]

Yeah I guess that if it did work we would have to talk more and I know I should show my feelings more.

Im just not 100% sure about it all as I think she would have moved on or found someone new or just happier without me and I dont want to spoil that

[michelle23]

Youll never know if you dont try. Its either gonna be a yes or a no. What have you got to lose?

[Spardus]

I guess you are right, I think im just scared that she has moved on or found someone else and a part of me is thinking ignorance is bliss not knowing but another part is hating not being able to get in touch with her as she may still be away.

[michelle23]

At least you will have tried so you cant have any more regrets. This is make or break. You either get back together now or you move on and get over her fully and meet someone else.