child in question issue

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:05 AM

a crazy issue was presented to me yesterday afternoon that has torn me apart. i have been in a relationship with this guy for a year today and already, a huge problem like this pops up. well, before we even met, my boyfriend got drunk, slept with his girl and used protection. this was a month before we met. he did not find out that the girl was pregnant until fall of last year and since the child was in question, then he basically ignored it and decided to hide the issue from me. well, the baby is already born and there could be a possibility of him, along with some other guys being the father of this baby. im upset because he did not tell me in the beginning, but now im feeling nervous because although he did use a condom, this could be his child. i forgave him for not telling me this, but i really dont know what to do until the DNA results come in. i feel sick to my stomach every time i think about it because i dont know what to do or think.

**LadieNisha4u2nv** · 14-07-09, 07:07 AM

How old is the child now?

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:11 AM

the baby is either or almost 8 months

**vashti** · 14-07-09, 07:14 AM

Unless you plan to dump him before the DNA test comes back, there isn't anything for you to do.

I don't blame him for not telling you about this before - he wasn't even sure there was really going to be an issue; it still might not be. He slept with a slut who slept with multiple other people, but he used protection. It probably isn't his.

Still, I do not advise young people (meaning YOU) to take on this kind of responsibility. He might get stuck, but you don't have to be.

**LadieNisha4u2nv** · 14-07-09, 07:16 AM

Oh cuz I swore the child was just born cuz that would obviously mean he was not faithful.

Well obviously he should have told you that's my only problem here. I assume you guys are into each other after a year together. He does have a past and it came to bite him in the ass. All you can do is wait for the results and hope for the best. If it does come out to be his child you now have to decide if you can deal with him having a child with another woman while with you or not. It's a tough decision, but this is something you should start thinking about from now just in case.

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:16 AM

i completely understand you vashti. i spoke with my boyfriends mother and she talked to the girl with the baby and she does not want to get a DNA test to exclude or prove my boyfriend to be the father...so i have my doubts, but you never know you know.

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:18 AM

ladienisha, i am already thinking about that too. i have been in this situation before except the ex i had was cheating on me during the relationship. if this baby is not his, im going to be very happy because that way we can move on.

**vashti** · 14-07-09, 07:19 AM

If she is demanding he take on a paternal role, he can have the court order a DNA test, I believe. If he *seriously* has good reason to believe the baby is not his, he should demand it.

Of course, there is always the possibility that he is downplaying his role... Do you believe he is squeaky-clean in this way?

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:22 AM

vashti, i am trusting he is telling me the whole truth. the times and the story from both his mother and him match up. i just find it strange that he has used a condom with his ex's and this has never happened until now.

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:23 AM

we got together in july

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:24 AM

she had the baby sometime in january....

**vashti** · 14-07-09, 07:26 AM

nvm - i deleted my last post. my mistake in calculations.

**redgurl1** · 14-07-09, 07:27 AM

its ok.....its a messed up situation.

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