Why am I having such a hard time with this!

[jenbenn]

Hello,

Well I have know this man for 3 years now and we have been on and off again for the last 3 years together; we are off right now. While he is stationed over in Afghanistan right now but they get a 3 week leave they go on, while he went to Australia and ended up sleeping with someone when we were not together. While this is after I sent him some rated R pictures because he asked for them. Well he sent me an email telling me that he slept with someone and that he wasn't sure he had to say sorry because we are not together, but was afraid that I would never want to talk to him again and that he didn't want that to happen. That he had bought some gifts that he wanted me to have and things like that. How amazing I have been since he has been gone. He basically told me to yell at him and get it all out of my system. Well I didn't yelled at him kept my cool and knew that I could move on because I knew he didn't care about me anymore. I know he told me about it when he didn't have to, but he said he couldn't hold it in any longer and it wasn't right to.

Well since then we talk everyday through email, even when he is dead tired he emails me and if he doesn't he send me a offline msn message telling me why not. He even calls me when the only people he calls is his family and he tells me how much he hates it, but does it to talk to me. We are both running a marathon together and the room that I wanted only came in a king size bed. Well he said that if I didn't mind sharing a bed with him that we could get that room. What the hell is that about? He even said that we could make it a 2 day stay. Why would he want to share a bed with me for? Is it just me or does he think that he is going to get sex by sharing a bed? We both have even bought Christmas gifts for each other and he sent me a gift over from Afghanistan. He was even talking about buying me things for my birthday. What is going on here?

I am trying to move on because I thought he was done with me, but I am so confused. I know this is a long explanation but wanted to get all the details in.

Thanks for the help,
Jen

[Lite]

Well, you know, you weren't in a relationship at the time. At least a committed one, and he was honest about what he did. I'm not sure you have anything to be angry about to be honest.

Perhaps you're one of his few ties back to "normal" life in the US, and he's desperate to maintain that? On the other hand, he's been w/out physical contact from any women for a while, and it's not surprising he jumped on something that was willing.

I'm not saying it excuses his behavior, but logically he didn't actually do wrong by you. I'm thinking you just need to either sever ties, or enforce serious boundaries related to not being in a real relationship. Oh, and go date someone else.