when I asked this girl out

[Torkoal]

Well first of all I didn't know her really well. She was in my class and I didn't talk to her much. I was her partner for some assignment that is how I found out I liked her.

But before I asked her out I gave a hint. One day I said I like your hair. Well I forgot to mention that I she doesn't speak english and since I didn't speak her language we used the language we were learning in our class ( japanese). So I said I like your hair in japanese. She didn't seem to understand and asked her friend. Her friend was kind of confused as well so I left without waiting for them to reply.

The next day we were at a bar with a whole bunch of our classmates and i was sitting next to her. I was talking to her a little bit. Then I just asked her if she wanted to go eat something with me tomorrow. Her friend was listening and asked if I meant the whole group going out to eat.So I shook my head to say no. Remember I was speaking in japanese this time and neither of us were fluent. Then her friend asked if I meant just the girl and I. her friend started smiling. She started to hit her friend on the back with her hand. Not in a really violent way. Then she just left to the bathroom and came back after a while. I couldn't judge what her exact reaction was. She was laughing a bit too as she hit her friend. I felt like it was a rejection. I was just devastated by that. She didn't attempt to talk to me at all that night. Our group went to a night club too and at that point I was over her. So I didn't attempt to dance with her or anything.

Later someone told me that Asian girls are brought up to be shy and that she was just embarrassed or something. I think another one of my friends told me the same thing. My friend said that the girl was shy and I should try again. I really didn't know what to believe but I didn't ask her again since she was always with her friends. She left back to her country a day later and I doubt I will ever see her again. But I think I have gotten over her. I just want to know what people here thought of her reaction.

[siss088]

Asian girls aren't "brought up shy". I don't think the parents deliberately do so... I do agree that Asians in general are more conservative in comparison.

I think you should have tried again! I agree with your friend. She was probably embarrassed when you asked her out for dinner. She might not have even gone with you even though she would have liked to. She would probably go if her friend went along too.. For moral support.. Then perhaps, once she's comfortable with you she might spend time with you alone. She'd be SUPER shy since there is a language barrier too!

Thing is, I'd probably laugh and smile in both situations - whether i'd want to go with you for dinner or not. Weird hey... (that wasn't much help! lol)

For next time, try again... If it's very obvious she doesn't like your attention then back off. I know you made the first step in asking her out but follow it up. Cos i don't think she would have dared to try!

[Cbrider]

I have no idea how in the world you are going to date someone you can't even communicate with.

Don't let me rain on the parade, you have my support in trying, its just something I couldn't do.

You have balls.

[MVPlaya]

Well I forgot to mention that I she doesn't speak english and since I didn't speak her language

Game over.

[Jbleezyj]

Well I'm guessing he knew she was going back to her country the next few days so maybe he just wanted a fling and to have some fun with her before she did.

[Sanctuary]

I feel pretty familiar with asians and their culture and I think I can correctly answer your question.

You really got to read the body language for this one and pick up on the cues of whether or not she's interested.

It can go one of 2 ways:

1. She was embarrassed that you liked her and she was unsure whether she'd liked you back - asians have a fairly conservative culture and to a non-americanized asian, an invitation for lunch/dinner from the opposite sex is serious business. She hit her friend on the back as an indication to stop asking more questions cuz she was getting embarrassed and unsure of what to do. She either went to the bathroom to escape from the situation or to fix herself up or both.

2. She doesn't like you from the get go and she knows this. She also had an idea that you liked her cuz of the way you look at her. She and her friend finds it amusing when their hypothesis that you like her are confirmed but she taps her friend on the back as an indication to stop cuz it's mean to lead you on. She's not really sure what to say and goes to the bathroom to admire herself in the mirror and freshen up cuz she enjoys the attention.

Hope that helps lol. I can't really give you a better answer without actually being there.

[Torkoal]

I just remembered why thought I was rejected by her . It was because as soon as her friend pointed to the two of us to try and understand what I meant she started to hit her friend on her back and started laughing as if she was like "NO WAY!". ugh...

[Sanctuary]

Well then. That's not cool...

Time to move on.

[girl68]

I do agree that Asians in general are more conservative in comparison.

Not in Canada!

And dude, if she liked you in any way, when you went clubbing there would have been some shy smiling, eye contact, giggles when you looked at her. Instead she ignored you. That is a universal sign of disinterest.

[Torkoal]

No when we went to the club I started focusing on someone else and I didn't care about her at all.

[minnie_an]

I think, she like you too, but she's just a bit shy to talk with u... One thing, I wanna tell you, For Asian girl, if they like someone, they didnt talk much to dat guys or play much with him..

[girl68]

^ notice how I said "universal"? Guess you missed that.