Falling for the wrong girl

[kaopei]

Hi. My first post, in the advice forum.. what an intro..

Be forwarned, this is an incredibly (to me) long post.

I'm a university student, majoring in engineering. I, not so recently (a few months ago) fell in love with a senior (a year older), same faculty, same course (my friends called me an idiot due to this) From the first glance, I fell for her. Her smile, her voice.. everything.. need I explain more? Beautiful how love starts.. but not necessarily it will end well, right?

At first, I did the usual first time chat. Greetings of hi and waving. The usual same-faculty friendliness.

As time goes, i added her at facebook, chatted up. She shares some of my interest, so the conversation kept going.Added her on IM and Day by day, she would chat more and more, till one day I asked for her phone number.

She reminded me it was only for "official matters" as she was one of the members of the student society in my faculty. I tried to stop chatting with her for a few days. The funny part is a few days later, =_= she texted me on trivial stuff and i replied, in the end it wasn't strictly "official matters" it was for "all matters". : D

During convocation event, I worked as a florist, and posted "Lucky person I know would get free flowers during convocation" as my facebook status (as a hint for her to come : ) ), she came to the shop and much to her shock I gave her the flowers (rose) : D. She texted me and said thanks, and said it was the first time anyone(male friend) gave her a rose.

One day I asked her out to play tennis (pretty unusual for a first date, eh?). She seems reluctant at first, till I proposed that we play in the morning when all people were asleep (my university's made up of lazy bums =_=). She came, much to my shock alone. We played and had fun. (She didn't know how to play =_= and i kept chasing balls instead of hitting). Thought her how to swing eg;. After the session, we had a long walk to a distant cafeteria (around 10 mins of walking) and chatted up, getting to know each other etc. I payed for her breakfast and all. I even insisted on sending her to her dorms (walking of course). It was an amazing first date : )

After that date, we seem pretty closer. She start to reveal her softer side, telling me on how she would cry due to the heavy assignment loads and exams. I consoled her and all.. I genuinely cared for her I guess..

One night when she jokingly put a yearn for sweets status on facebook. I asked her if she wants chocolate, she said yes. I instantly cycled to the nearest 7 eleven (it was 3am that time), bought every chocolate-type and gave her. Boy, was she shocked and touched XD. Said thank you many many times.. lol

During my holidays, she stayed back for some research. One night, she said to me she felt feverish. I.. much to my worry, rung up one of my female friends and requested them to give panadol (paracetamol) to her (=_= at the cost of treating her McDonalds. well worth tho)

All was fine and all till one day (Recently), she asked me a question. I didn't remember how it triggered to that point but she asked me whether im in love with her or not. Couldn't bear the feelings that were building up, I confessed. But she said she had a boyfriend (I was shocked terribly) and she got angry when I told her some of my friends might know that I'm in love with her. I was sad. She was very angry because the seniors (her same batch might know and think wrongly of her). Couldn't bear the situation, I hung up. She smsed me saying she's sorry and all. And out of the many smses one of them she asked "is it okay to be in love with 2 people at once". I told her don't. It's better for her to stick to her current boyfriend.. since I don't want her to be thought of wrongly.. and I don't want to put her in such a state of confusion.. I feel wrong.. It was my fault.. I should've known..

Now forum.. I'm confused.. I'm sad.. I'm depressed.. I've been brokenhearted ever since I was born. Never any luck in getting girls.. My friend said it is the girl I choose.. but this time it's different.. I love her.. What should I do? Is what I'm doing right?

[BreakingPoint]

Dude. First of all, you've done the right thing cutting it off. If you carry on, trust me, it wont be good. Trust me.

All you gotta do now, is move on. Then maybe one day, when she splits with her current guy (Which she will, undoubtedly. Because if she let herself get that close to you, and not tell you until far far too long into your relationship that she had a guy, then she obviously doesn't care for him all that much) - she'll get in contact with you, and you guys can have something together.

Until then, you sound like a perfect gent. Women love that. You just need to get out there to meet more, and show them who you are.

Don't get too down. Your time will come.

[trouble_sleepin]

First off, let me say I'm truly sorry for what happened. I hate seeing good guys being abused while there are plenty of good girls who never get to see these men because they're all taken. That's my rant.

Okay, this situation is hurtful, but I think you did the right thing. If this girl loved you as anyone TRULY deserves to be loved, she wouldn't have hid the fact that she had a boyfriend. I think she was seeking from you what she wasn't getting from her boyfriend (attention, sincerity, thoughtful actions, etc.) Not to say that she isn't really sorry or that she doesn't care, but I think it will be better for you to find a girl who would you be upfront with you and who would be sure she loves YOU and JUST you.

I'm going through my own personal rough patch trying to get over someone I loved as well... I'm not finding it too easy. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. But know that you made the right decision and you have support!

Good luck with everything!

[kaopei]

Thank you guys.. @trouble_sleepin: i guess yr right.. she should told me she had a boyfriend..yeah.. getting over this will take a while..
@breaking point: true to that.. no point in continuing atm..though i probably won't hope as much though.. seeing how that seniority and age become quite the barrier..