confused

[trisha]

I'm 23 year old with so many experiences on failed relationships...there's these 3 guys in my life as of the moment ...

now here's the story, here's my ex , he wants me back but then I'm scared if he just wants revenge, since it was my infedelity that caused our breakup before

...here's this another guy as well that i really like as of the moment but for him I'm just a fling or just his passing time

and here's this best friend of mine who cares for me and suggest if why not try to have him as my boyfriend , this best friend of mine already proved himself worthy to be loved but then i really don't like him that much to be my lover...

i want the guy who wants me to be just a fling always, dunno why..of course my mind tells me that i should not go for him but then whenever I'm with him, I'm very much happy ...and i can see a little possibility that with much effort maybe he'll learn to take me seriously...

if i will go for my EX as well who wants me back, I'm scared if he would just have his revenge, but part of me wants to continue what we have before since that was a 2 year relationship...

about my best friend as well, well i really don't like him to be my lover but then I'm scared of losing him cause he's my confidante and he's always been there thru thick and thin...

i just want to choose just one from them...who should I'm gonna choose? hmm

*just bear with my English guys, if you seem cant understand it much, English is not my first language , that's why i cant express that well..*

[Yggdrasil]

Label them 1, 2 and 3 and throw dice.

You want me to make the choice for you? NONE.

First deal with your issues:

I'm 23 year old with so many experiences on failed relationships

Eyeopener:

Ever considered the problem with your many failed relations may be you and that you keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again?

[trisha]

thnx yggdrasil, i'm gonna consider ur advice...maybe it's me who really has a problem that's why all the relationship that i have failed...

[JohnnyGileaid]

Maybe none of those guys are good for you.

It sounds like you really like the "fling" guy. Clearly though, if you are looking for a relationship and he is not, the guy is not for you. No matter how much chemistry you have with him, it sounds like you both want different things.

Your ex-boyfriend sounds like too much of a risk. It seems like you just want to get back with him because it is easy, you having been with him for two years.

Your best friend sounds like the exact opposite situation as the "fling" guy. He is ready for the relationship, but you just aren't attracted to him and there is no chemistry. I don't think you should date anyone if you aren't attracted to them (sexually), no matter how good of a person they may be.

I think the real problem is what the poster above brought up. It appears you have some of your own issues that you need to work out. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but from reading your post it sounds like you constantly feel like you always need to be in a relationship.

Like your drive for having a guy to depend on and take care of you is so strong that you are willing to make large compromises in order to do so. I'm not saying there is anything "wrong" with that, but it is no doubt a large player in your history of poor relationships. If that is true, perhaps you should start there.

Things like poor father figures growing up sometimes cause that, and if you feel like I am describing you, you may want to look into working through that first.

Anyway, hope that helps some. I wish you the best.

[cutensweet]

I would say why do you want to get involved with any of them? A guy worth having is the one that there is no question as to whether or not you want him and he wants you. Why do you feel like you have to be in a relationship at all? Try it on your own for a while....You will come out of it stronger and gain a better sense of what you not only want...but what you deserve as well...Besides....great things usually happen when we are not looking....

[Yggdrasil]

maybe it's me who really has a problem that's why all the relationship that i have failed...

Not exactly what I meanth. Before you consider yourself dysfunctional or so, I'll ellaborate: have you ever considered you are looking for love in the wrong places?

As in: you are attracted to a certain type, but that's not what you really need. Yet, you keep on making the same choice of partners over and over again, thus being trapped in a cycle that doesn't give you what you need.

That's something I'd reflect on.

I hope I am making sense here.

[navybones]

Which one has a house, a job, and a car for starters.

[trisha]

thanks so much for all the replies

well, about my EX, he's gone for good, cause i just found out from a common friend that he has a new girl, so the "come back to me" drama that he told me was just one of his silly games to have his revenge on me..

about the guy that i really like, he's out of town already without my knowing, he did not even bother to tell me cause of course, it goes to the issue that I'm just his fling , it's so pathetic that I even hope that he would take me seriously.

about my best friend, i made it clear to him that he's just really a friend and now he's able to accept that, good thing he's still my friend now.

I'm actually at the point of my life now wherein i can recall all the things about my love life that really upsets me. it's like a cycle, the one i like are the ones that would never ever bother to have me seriously ..

at one particular moment of my life, i rested for 6 months with zero boyfriend nor fling at all but then when i'm back to this kind of game, i always lose...when would i find the one for me?

i envy those girls who were able to find the love of their lives, i envy then for being happy, cause when it comes to love life, i'm always left alone...

i already read books on how to enjoy life with no love life at all, but still there's this emptiness in me always...it's good that i have a good job, i have my family who always supports me, but then there's always a time when i feel lonely especially when my friends are with their special someone..

maybe you think i'm over acting already , but then it's true, i cant seem to find this right guy