Everything's different :S

[gartlas]

Hmm how to start,,well just recently , as in with the girl I cant get out of my head now ,,everything seems to be different in how I feel, nothing as ever affected me this strongly. With other people I've felt as if I've 'loved' them , the feeling ; though it felt strong is weak and nothing at all in comparison to what I got going on at the moment . The feelings I have for this girl I've liked for about a 4 months-ish are not only stronger than anything I've ever felt before but seem to be controlling every aspect of my life. I've barely been sleeping and my appetetite has almost gone ,almost everything is dull and worthless..or reminds me of her enough to make me feel unhappy again , I cant even listen to most music cos we have the same tastes in bands and things. As for why Im unhappy its because I know she isnt interested,,my best friend talks to her a lot and let me know to try and stop me getting hurt or rejected or anything .. The main problem is that I cant stop , its been about 2 months now and it still feels like someone is carving my heart out with a spoon every time she looks at me now , even if she smiles. It hurts like shit and , although probably a naive question has anyone got any ideas to try and help me get over this.
many thanks

[carl1222]

Sorry for your pain.

Many ideas but first ... how old are you?

Carl.

[gartlas]

Rather young Im afraid , 17 in august

[carl1222]

Rather young Im afraid , 17 in august

OK ... surely you can understand the difference between responding to a 17 year old and a 25 year old.

A cruel lesson of life, gartlas, is that if she doesn't think of you that way, she never will. Mother nature at her bitchiness and totally out of your control.

So first ... don't think that anything you could do will change that fact.

You can do things for her ... no difference.

You can try to be her knight in shining armor ... no difference.

You can try to be her perfect body type ... no difference.

You can be her best friend ... no difference.

In the end, her emotional chemistry will be aroused by another guy, and she will choose someone who will be totally worthless compared to you, but that's life, there is NOTHING you can do about it.

So what do you do to minimize the pain???

Cut off ALL contact with her. Don't talk to her/call/talk to her friends/IM/email/facebook/myspace her in any way ... then go out and look for YOUR girl ... she's there, I promise you.

[lastwish]

Love is the most addictive and painful things isn't it? You need to find another purpose in life other than her. Focus on your own improvements. Is there anything you like to improve about yourself? Do you have any hobbies? If you want to improve your social life, perhaps you can put more effort talking to people and making new friends (perhaps even girls). Just try to get your mind off her.

[swargolet]

I know exactly how you feel. A 3 year relationship with my girlfriend just ended 2 hours ago. It was hard but I try to look at the positives. I know that right now in both her and my life this is the best thing for us. I think you need to look at the positives. You are only 17 you have your last years of high school left 4 years of college! I really wish I could go back now and not waste my last years of high school and my first couple years of college.
It sucks breaking up. You constantly have that feeling of what if. Well you can't look at that. The What Ifs are gone you are thinking about something that will never happen.
Or if you are like my you will think of how she will be with another guy. This is personally the hardest thing for me right now. I guess the way to look at it is if she is with another guy maybe she'll be happy. As bad as that sounds for you, maybe you should look out for her. I want my ex to be happy which is why the moment she told me there was no hope I just dropped it. No sense continuing a losing battle it will just make it worse.
Move on. We will all encounter hard times in our life, dont take them personally dont take it like it is the last thing in the world for you.
There are MANY MANY other wonderful girls out there that I'm sure would be great with you. Some people say there is only one true love out there. I believe there are hundreds, thousands, you just need to find that 1 out of 1000, and once you do you will be the happiest person on the planet.
Remember, you have people all around you that care about you and will help you through this. Dont bottle it all up, that is the worst thing you can do.
I wish you the best of luck!