HELP ME!!!pleaseee

[Loua]

Hello outthere. I hope someone can help me. I've been with my bf for 5 months, but he broke up with me last month, after he found out about a fake profile I had made not to stalk him, but as some kind of test. He know says he doesn't trust me, but he still has feelings for me and still cares. I thought of the NC, but he said that he never wants to cut contact with me, so that was not possible. I miss him like crazy and I all I think about is him. He seems a bit distant and says that he needs time just so things like before wont happen again. and I believe that he is putting me through a test as well. now all I am asking for is advice. because I want nothing more than to get him back.

[Mathias]

after he found out about a fake profile I had made not to stalk him, but as some kind of test.

Wait, what?

[Loua]

Yeah well I thought he maybe was cheating with me, with other women.... It was stupid of me I know.

[Cerby]

Yeah well I thought he maybe was cheating with me, with other women.... It was stupid of me I know.

You didn't trust him, you didn't talk to him about it. You put him through a "test" which was really just you stalking him. I would have broken up with you too....

Sorry, all you can do is ask for him to reconsider. NC doesn't actually work for getting someone back, at least not very often.

[smackie9]

You behavior was immature and deceitful it's no wonder he feels burned. You will have to talk to him about your reasons for suspecting him of cheating, and admit you handled it poorly. Promise to talk to him about your insecurities rather than do things behind his back. You say "women" so I'm guessing you are an adult....better take a long hard look at yourself before talking to him.

[paloma]

agree with smackie9

[Salubrious]

It is hard to recover from broken trust. Think about how betrayed you would feel if he snuck in your room & read your diary. You'd feel embarrassed & betrayed. Friendship is probably the most you can hope for here. I'd suggest moving on, but learn from this. Yes, it is hard to trust someone when you are suspicious but, if you don't feel like you can trust him your with the wrong person.

[Loua]

I see... I forgot to tell you that it was a long distance relationship, where I've never met him before, since we met on the net. He was secretive as well.. Because I mentioned it a couple of times, but they were all just friends.... Or he didnt want to talk about it.
So from my point of view I had no choice than to do what I did. I totally see how wrong it is now.
He says that he still has feelings for me and cares and we talk everyday since he found out. I plan on visiting him in 2-3 months, as we planned before we broke up. But I cant help but to worry about stuff I can't do anything about. I still love him. I'm just scared of him moving on before we even meet.

[Sallymelanie]

Hi Loua.

First of all, take a deep breath. Think again. Is he really your boyfriend? The reality is although both of you once share happy moments and love each other, you never meet him in person and you cannot say that he is your boyfriend until you meet him and make it official to your family and friends.
I understand it's because of your curiosity, that you don't know what else he is doing when he is not chatting with you, you wanted to stalk him to make sure he is not just playing it as a game or have another person as a love interest.

He still talks to you, but do you feel if he is slowing trying to avoid you or feel different for you? If you think he is not feeling the same for you, then take a break. The No Contact rule works, trust me. I'd used it before myself. If it doesn't work, he is not worth it. Don't go and visit him. Girls should never chase a guy that way. Instead, tell him you are going to be busy (find something to do, ie new hobby? dancing? sports? go places meet new people) for a few weeks and give him your phone and home address in case he needs to contact you. If he initiate contact via electronic means, ie email or FB within 3 days, don't reply him. Wait for him to try to contact you again, via phone. If he visit your place, you win, he is yours.

If he only contact via electronic means reply to him after 3-4 weeks and just tell him you are doing great and busy. But until he calls you on the phone, the relationship is still not worth pursuing.
If he calls you always just talk to him for a few minutes and cut it short, tell him you have to go, do something and ask him to call another time. Make him chase you. If he don't chase you, trust me, he is not good enough for you in long term. Just let him go. Let him be free. You should be free too and meet other guys which are not long distance relationship. If both of you are mean to be, time will bring you both together. Good Luck!

[Loua]

Hello Sallymelanie. Thank you for your reply! I talked to him the other day where he said that he needs time, just to be sure that stuff like before wont happen again. So he has set up test for me I guess, to see if I am trust worthy. It is so hard. And I am stuck here feeling like rubbish.

[couchpotato]

What happened to the old good fashioned love ? You into someone you havent even met ? I mean...is this for real ? I need a drink...