Break Up Nightmare Vacation.

[Firefly50]

Hello,

My name is Lyndsey. I just had the worst possible break up ever! I knew this guy off and on for about 8 years. We have been friends with benefits, for a long time. We decided to take our relationship to the next level and plan a trip. He agreed, of course, I paid for it all. I paid for a Cruise to Mexico, he agreed, I also paid for our flights, and his passports. We stayed over night at the Queen Mary, of course I paid for it. During the cruise, he was a complete jerk to me! Flirting with every girl checking them out. I do not have the best looking bikini body, but sheez. He always vaped everywhere, even bought the darn e cig, to the dinner table. They had to make an announcement for him to smoke in the designated area. I am not a smoker. I did tell him ahead of time. When we got to Ensenada, he did the same thing. He looked at a girl that was walking by and said, D*mn. I got mad and said , some smart remark about looking longer. Things went down hill from there. He got his bottle of tequila. He was just rude to me, after that. The last day, he changed the flights to an earlier flight , out. The ticket agent did not charge extra, but he was willing to pay extra for it.
Then after all is over, he had the nerve to say he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me! It was the time in Mexico that he realized it. OMG, how horrible, I feel. I know I am not the best looking person like the girls on the cruise ship, but he knew that before going with me. I shelled out over $1500, just to be dumped, not to mention, I always helped him out of financial struggles, without question, and he just flat out dumps me. How do I move one, and just forget everything?
Thanks,

[Hooo!]

By learning what you did wrong
Being shallow and superficial for one

I'd start with that

[TheEvilJester]

Honestly, my question to you would be how do you NOT move on? This guy basically couldn't have been more of a jerk if he TRIED. Cripes, he sounds like such a jerk I'd almost swear he was intentionally trying to be a jerk.

Hindsight is always 20/20, but I also cannot help but ask why the heck did you pay for EVERYTHING for this guy? He basically just used you for a free trip. Don't get me wrong. I do not AT ALL mean to make you feel bad, or to blame you. I understand you thought you had a good thing with him. You thought you two were finally taking things to the next level. Believe me, I understand how tempting it can be to want to believe that.

I think, though, the first clue to you should have been how long you two had been in this "friends with benefits" type relationship. 8 YEARS? 8 years and it never changed. What made you think he'd suddenly change now? Believe me, I know it is probably hard for you to see this now because the hurt is too fresh....

But you are WAY better off without this jerk. You deserve WAY better than that. Jeez, anybody would deserve better than the way he treated you. It sucks, and I am so sorry this all happened to you....but in time the pain will fade and you will realize you are much better off without a jerk like this in your life. If nothing else, learn from this experience. If you want something more serious, be willing to try for it. Don't let anybody waste so much of your time. If it turns out they don't want something more serious, or they may but your time frames are too off... then you are better off learning that sooner rather than later.

You deserve better. You'll feel better in time. I know it may not feel like it now, but you will. If nothing else, that loser was a great learning experience for you of what you DON'T want in a partner. Best of luck to you.

[Firefly50]

Yea, he said it was the day in Ensenada, that he realized he did not want the relationship. Wouldn't you know it would be the last day of the cruise. He only wants to be friends now. I am assuming without benefits. I didn't just fall off the break up wagon. I am the one who likes to go on the cruises, and offered to pay as I always pay for 2 anyway. He just agreed to go. I guess I was hoping to buy things in a more affectionate relationship. Lesson Learned, Money does not buy love. I am not a Sugar Mama , buy any means. Just an average looking person. Not like the hoochie's on the ship, he was looking at. Just hard to believe after all this time, and when we have gone out on dates, before. It is time to try and forget and move on. Just, WOW, I can't believe people can be so mean. I know I was naive, also. Guess it was bound to happen.

[TheEvilJester]

People can absolutely be very cruel. I wish you hadn't had to find that out the hard way, though. Again, I VERY highly doubt that he just suddenly realized he didn't want the relationship. He used you and likely has been for a while. I mean, I could certainly be wrong.... but it sounds like the more likely truth is he's enjoyed getting what he wants from you without having to take it more seriously.... and now that you tried to take it to the next level he ran.

You deserve better anyway. This will hurt for a little while, but you will get better. Eventually you will find somebody better too, but for now just take some time to remember that you are pretty darn awesome yourself. If he couldn't see that, some other guy will... and in the meantime just take time to re-learn how to be happy even just within yourself.

[lovebroken]

If you feel he misled you on can you take him to small claims court to get back the half you spent on him? or you cannot do that or wouldn't? Hit him where it hurts, his pocketbook since he appears to be unfeeling anywhere else.