We went out, it was great. Now I'm feeling less confident - am I overreacting?

[Tri'elle]

Hi everyone, hope this message reaches you in good health!

I went out with a girl I like from my college last week, during our week holiday away from college. It was the first time we'd gone anywhere and, although we speak a lot on Facebook, the first time we'd really talked in person. We went to the cinema. It went really well, in my opinion. We had a great talk and there was lots of hopeful signs: lots of smiling, eye contact and light touching.

I got home feeling pretty great about it, like I said, it seemed like an all-round success. She text me the next day, nothing significant; just seemed like a typical 'conversation-starter', if you will. I didn't bother replying until the next day, it was late. We texted throughout the day that followed and it ended with me sending the last text, she didn't reply. It was like 3am, to be fair. Anyway, I heard nothing from her for the next few days. We normally talk a lot on Facebook but she was rarely online, only a couple of times and she didn't say anything to me, sadly. I texted her a couple of days ago and she texted back a couple of times and then went to a party. I don't know if she took her phone and didn't bother to text or just left it at home, but she didn't text me until she was back. We texted a few more times (it was pretty mediocre, just a few jokey messages) and then she went to sleep.

A couple of days later (now) and she hasn't contacted me. I didn't see her at college today and I've had no texts or Facebook messages. I see pictures of her at parties and think to myself "I'm wasting my time". She's laughing and having a great time, with guys in her friendship group that are probably more suited for her (we seem to get along great, but I know none of her friends/she knows none of mine).

Suddenly, I'm feeling pessimistic. Okay, it hasn't been long, but it feels weird that she hasn't spoken to me recently. I desperately want to go on a second date with her, but I'm finding it hard to feel motivated to ask her. Also, I don't want it to have that 'friends meeting up' illusion. I want her to know I'm asking her out.

I feel I should say, at this point, that I'm hoping to pursue a relationship with her, if all goes well. I'm not just trying to 'get laid'. So I don't want her to think I just want sex.

So now I'm wondering, do I try for another date and if so, what? Or do I just throw in the towel, maybe she just wants to be friends or isn't attracted to me in that way. I mean, I know men are meant to make the effort, but it seems like I've been making all the effort to keep in touch. I'm at that point now where I just want to know if I'm in with a shot so that if I have a chance I can do what i can and if I don't I can more or less give up.

Anyway, any advice would be massively appreciated. Is she at all interested? How do I find out if she likes me without being as explicit as simply asking her? What can I ask her to do as another date, that is clearly a date and not just two friends meeting?

Absolutely any comments would be great. Thank you!

[Agape]

I feel I should say, at this point, that I'm hoping to pursue a relationship with her, if all goes well. I'm not just trying to 'get laid'. So I don't want her to think I just want sex.

I think you're investing too much emotionally, too much, too soon . . . .anyways it's only been a few days, you could try again, if she responds - great. . if not, oh well, move on

[therealjag]

yeah man sounds like you're thinking bout it too much...best thing you can do is not contact her at all and if she gets in touch then great....its just dating remember so date other girls keep your options open...that way you wont over analyse it with one girl and you'll be able to live stress free!