Heart is Crushed but what next?

[Donna83]

Hello,
I know you see endless posts like mine but I
Have taken to searching for a forum to gain ANY advice/ guidance possible as I seriously do not know what to do anymore.........

I'm a 29, female, my boyfriend of the last 15 months, whom
I live with & his 7 yr old daughter confessed 4 days ago that he cheated on me 4 months
Into our relationship, 3 times over a period of 3 months with his ex girlfriend.
He confesses the last time was 8 months ago.

These encounters were quick and in locations such as a bush!!, his front porch & his car.
He claims our relationship at the time was amazing & he was in love with me.
( pretty hard to believe)

The reason he confessed is because he wants to
Spend his life with me and Needed Me to know the full truth so I can make a honest choice.
I'm in turmoil currently from of course the shock but also I wanted to spend my life with him & his
daughter whom I love dearly too.
Now I don't know whats best for me!

His ex owed him over �1000.
I know I'm blowing my own trumpet but I'm a 1000 times better in all areas ( all HIS friends male/female have told me/him & have let rip on him.....)
I own my own home, I am a hard working children's nurse and I'm not that bad on the eye.

His ex at the time was cheating on her then partner.

To sum my relationship history up-
I married my ex partner of 4 yrs in 2010- it didnt last a year! He began to cheat ( so I found out
10months later) & left me.

My current unfaithful partner was my knight in shunning armour at this time & saw all the hurt and pain I endured.... And now he's done it!
The positive in it all is that he chose to
Confess..... And I'm not making anything easy.

I thought I could give it go....forgive & rebuild us.
I have been bluntly honest in what I need & expect from him.

The reason I'm on here is- last night I felt let down. After a long day of 15 hrs at work- I ring to say I'm on route....he knew from a text I sent that pm that the ward was busy etc.
I get home and the house was a tip! He used to ask if I was hungry as didn't always get a break at work to get something prepared for when I came home. This wasn't the case as he wasn't hungry!
The thing that got me is he was on his xbox in the living room playing alone but online with friends.
I made myself something to eat- and
Asked how long he would be-
Basically I asked twice.... 40 mins in ( was 23:10) still playing despite me telling him briefly Im not
impressed And storming out of the room.
A few mins later and after some thought I returned to
The room...... I thought he's lost the effort before he's tried!
I stood in front of him & told him I had had enough and that was it. He instantly ended the game & tried
To say he was sorry & he slipped into
Norm routine for him.

He's still living with me- for alot of reasons:
Mainly coz I don't know what I want but want him
Near- he hasn't got anywhere to go!- his daughters well being-
Also I need help with the bills.

Please someone give me some advice to how I deal & "play" this out.
Appreciate if anyone has actually read this essay too
Xx thank you

I just need to add- he didn't use any protection when he cheated- I have been to
Clinic and awaiting results ( he came too)
But he also confessed after our visit that his ex contacted him in march to say she had something &
needed treatment....... Of course I'm extra worried now as it's my health & future now!

[cheekxs]

I dont understand the 40 min part. he was cheating again?

And only some woman ends bullshit immediately.

Many know they have to get out but they stay till things gets worse.

U have been married before so u know how to recognize a bad relationship way before now.
So use your knowledge

And staying with people for bills and stuff will make it worse.