Help?

[Person_123]

I am basically very confused about my feelings. I recently went through a break-up (a 5 month relationship). It obviously hurts a lot, but I can see where there would have been problems, and differences between us. He started to change and became numb to things. He was still a really nice guy though, and we definitely had a lot of chemistry.

Before that, I was going out with a guy for 3 years, who was fantastic. My best friend, totally understood me, and he was always there for me. I broke up with him, because the spark had died (the sexual spark in particular), and I guess we took each other for granted a little. We still stayed best friends during my 5-month relationship, and talked often. During the relationship with the other guy, my best friend told me he loved me, twice, and regretted losing me. But I stayed with the new guy, and wanted to see where things went, feeling terrible because my best friends was incredibly hurt.

After breaking up with the new guy, whilst it still hurts a lot, I find myself wondering why I broke up with my best friend. I guess I got scared we were losing the spark. Maybe I should have grown up and realised puppy love doesn't last forever. My best friend and I have been talking about possibly trying again, and why things failed. I still love him very much as a person.

But I am still hurt by the new guy, and still find the new guy extremely attractive in my eyes. What should I do?

[bonekkalinda]

To be honest with you, I think you should wait it out. You went out with a new man for a reason, so that right there shows you were open in experimenting with someone new. It could be that your ex or "best friend" misses you, I mean you guys were in a ling term relationship, and when that happens, the two partners get accustomed with one another, regardless of the arguments or whatnot. I think since you just got out of your relationship, you should take the time and think thins through, do you really want your ex back? I mean if there is love there, I mean genuine love then take the time and see where it takes you, you don't want him to feel like a rebound? Right? I think the both of you have a history together, and when you broke up, you guys became great friends, and is hard to move on because that person is still in your life. It can mean one of two things, you are guys are not over each other at all, or by the both of you being "best friends" its going to add a hardship to your future relationships, because sometimes, the past should stay in the past.

[londonlad1]

I agree with the above poster. At the moment you need to concentrate purely on yourself. When you feel comfortable with yourself you will be in a better position to evaluate your true feelings.

[Person_123]

To be honest with you, I think you should wait it out. You went out with a new man for a reason, so that right there shows you were open in experimenting with someone new. It could be that your ex or "best friend" misses you, I mean you guys were in a ling term relationship, and when that happens, the two partners get accustomed with one another, regardless of the arguments or whatnot. I think since you just got out of your relationship, you should take the time and think thins through, do you really want your ex back? I mean if there is love there, I mean genuine love then take the time and see where it takes you, you don't want him to feel like a rebound? Right? I think the both of you have a history together, and when you broke up, you guys became great friends, and is hard to move on because that person is still in your life. It can mean one of two things, you are guys are not over each other at all, or by the both of you being "best friends" its going to add a hardship to your future relationships, because sometimes, the past should stay in the past.

Thanks for the reply. I do feel like I love him. Genuinely, I mean. When he stopped talking to me for a month when I went out with the new guy, my heart felt torn. I thought it was just because we're so close that it hurts, but really, he's so special to me, I don't want him out of my life. But yes, he wants me to take my time, and see how I feel week by week, before coming to any decisions.