She lied

[Mud]

I've been seeing this girl for almost a year and ever since day 1 I've always had reason to believe she's being less than honest with me. As time has gone by she's proven that she's a woman of her word till yesterday.

We were talking about the movie Bruno and how funny it was when out of the clear blue sky she told me she went to go see Bruno by herself a month before her and I went. I asked her straight out if she was sure she went by herself and she said she did. She said the only reason why she went was her and I were supposed to go but we had a disagreement and that was a movie she wanted to see so she went.

I dont mind her going to see the movie but now I feel like a complete fool because all this time I thought she saw it for the first time with me and am wondering what else she's keeping from me.

I've always told her, "just be honest with me thats all I ask. If you ever even get the inclination that there could possibly be someone else please tell me before you spend time with that person". She said she would and has never entertained the thought and never will.

I know this seems pretty minor but trust is the corner stone of any relationship and without you have nothing even when it means not telling your SO about a movie.

Thanks

[Gigabitch]

I know it sounds crazy, but I agree with you. I don't like it when people find it easy to hide things, even little things. I believe that transparency is a huge help in relationships.

[Bumble_bee]

yeah I get that.....what the hell was the point of lying? if it comes too easy, that's a worry/disease

[girl68]

But did she lie, or just fail to tell you during your argument she decided to watch the movie?

[Mud]

I just talked to her on the phone about the movie and she's trying to justify her actions by telling me theres certain things I didn't tell her till we were well into the relationship. I tried to tell her I didn't open up because I felt we weren't at the point in our relationship where I felt comfortable opening up completely.

I told her that I didnt want to be involved in a deceitful relationship and now that we've been dating for year I involve her in all aspects of my life. There isnt a thing that goes on during the course of the day that I dont share with her and if she still finds it necessary to hide even something as minor as going to a movie were done, she said from now on she wont hid anything from me.

Lying by omission is still lying

[girl68]

Lying by omission is still lying

I disagree. (IMO) I always have and my partner also agrees.

I also think that no person should invole anyone in ALL aspects of life. My alone time, is just that. I will do as I please and not tell a sole. Nor would I expect or want to hear what he's done in his alone time. Especially when we're fighting, that is for sure my alone time. And I don't speak of it when we make up, neither does he.

More often than not, I do exactly what she does. I go out shopping or watching movies by myself. I don't tell him where I've gone, or what I've done. He doesn't tell me where he went when he was mad either. Eventually we just come home and make up. The end. This of course is what works for us. I'm just giving you the other side of the story, one perhaps she used to practice- until you.

[Mud]

But did she lie, or just fail to tell you during your argument she decided to watch the movie?

All this took place in July, she just told me about seeing the movie last night.

Lying by omission is still lying

I disagree. (IMO) I always have and my partner also agrees.

I also think that no person should invole anyone in ALL aspects of life. My alone time, is just that. I will do as I please and not tell a sole. Nor would I expect or want to hear what he's done in his alone time. Especially when we're fighting, that is for sure my alone time. And I don't speak of it when we make up, neither does he.

More often than not, I do exactly what she does. I go out shopping or watching movies by myself. I don't tell him where I've gone, or what I've done. He doesn't tell me where he went when he was mad either. Eventually we just come home and make up. The end. This of course is what works for us. I'm just giving you the other side of the story, one perhaps she used to practice- until you.

I dont mind her going to movie or anywhere else for that matter but when we went and saw the movie a week later she acted as if she had never seen it. We both thought parts of the movie were hilarious and have talked about a few times since we saw it in July and up until last night I never knew she saw it. Why hide something as minor and meaningless as a movie, what would be the point? And if she has to hide something of as innocent as going to a movie by herself what else could she be hiding? Can you see how lying by omission could create so many other problems?

[girl68]

All this took place in July, she just told me about seeing the movie last night.
I dont mind her going to movie or anywhere else for that matter but when we went and saw the movie a week later she acted as if she had never seen it.

The first part wouldn't have mattered to me, becasue like I said I don't just tell, and I assume you didn't ask. So that's not the problem.

The second part is where lies the problem.

And just becasue she didn't tell you doesn't mean she has 10 bags of hair in the closet. (She could, but probably doesn't).

I stand by my reasoning, it works for me/ us.

[Mud]

The first part wouldn't have mattered to me, becasue like I said I don't just tell, and I assume you didn't ask. So that's not the problem.

The second part is where lies the problem.

And just becasue she didn't tell you doesn't mean she has 10 bags of hair in the closet. (She could, but probably doesn't).

I stand by my reasoning, it works for me/ us.

Let me get this straight, if your boyfriend goes out to the club and spends the entire evening with one lady and one lady only and only tells you he was out with his friends but 3 months down the road you find out he was only tell you half the truth that wouldn't create a problem for you?

The one thing I've learned about relationships is the truth ALWAYS come out, it may not happen today or tomorrow but sooner or later whatever it is you did that could possibly create a problem will eventually come back to bite you in the azz.

[girl68]

Let me get this straight, if your boyfriend goes out to the club and spends the entire evening with one lady and one lady only and only tells you he was out with his friends but 3 months down the road you find out he was only tell you half the truth that wouldn't create a problem for you?

That situation is entirely different. But I should have noted the obvious exceptions: in the face of cheating there is always cause for concern.

[Enigmos]

you gotta wonder why people lie about little things. if it were a bigger thing, what the hell would she do?