First post/First real situation

[tealoctober]

Hey, this is my first post on the site, but anyways, i came here to say what's going on, so here goes...

I'm a soph. in high school on the east coast, i go to a co-ed prep school here and there has been a girl who I have been attracted to the whole year named Grace. We are in three of five classes together and share a lot of the same friends and as a result have become very close friends recently. Since the first few weeks of classes this year we have had an intimacy between us that is hard to describe, something with eyes and a sort of communication that we can have silently across a room that has brought us closer. I have liked her since i met her, but she has not really returned my signs in moving things forward such as concert tickets and dinners etc...but it seems like we are just going to be good friends.

At the same time...I met a girl named Izzy at an all-girls school on the other side of the city through a friend of mine. We met online, but since that first night of talking we have become really close and meeting her for the first time was an amazing experience. I have many good friends at the school that she goes to and they tell me that she really likes me and that we would be a good couple. I happen to agree with her friends, and through talking to her a lot we have really formed a great relationship. The only problem with her is that because we go to different schools and i still have not gotten my license, it will be hard for me to spend a lot of time with her.

I'm not really sure what my question is...but I am having difficulty deciding between trying to bring a more friendship-orientated relationship into a dating situation or whether to take the love where it exists and try to work though the difficulties that might arise.

It seemed like a choice that favored Izzy until Grace started returning my previous love for her over this holiday season, right as i was prepared to start something with Izzy. Now, do I do what my heart was telling me to do with Izzy, or should I start to develop something with Grace that I'm not 100% for anymore?

thanks...and good to be a part of the forum!

[Mystikal]

Well as being just out of high school myself I would recomend not dating inside of the circle of friends that you have. That happend in my group...two of my closest friends started dating (the girl in the situation I liked as well) and well anyways you probably get the picture.....it ruined my entire senior year because there was nothing but drama, arguments, and fights the whole year >.< so definetly would not recomend the dating inside of friends. Now for the other girl.....Ill tell you this much...dont let distance be to much of a factor (especially if its only the other side of the city) be a major deciding factor in who you choose.

[funsounds]

Mystical is SO RIGHT!!!!!

Dating inside your circle of friends is risky business. I would recommend against it. That's advice #1.

#2...when it comes down to choosing between two people, it is rare that we find both of them equally matching. in most cases, one is better for us than the other. my advice is figure out what it is you want in another person...and do NOT settle. funny thing about the heart...the heart, if not working with the mind, often leads us astray. how many times do you hear someone say, "but i love him/her." in many cases, do you know what that "but" is? it's the heart railing against better judgement...it's emotions coercing us into compromising, settling. when you find someone REALLY worth your time...the heart and mind will be in sync...

i'm rambling...

[Prodigal]

I really agree with funsounds second statement. The key phrase is this, as funsounds has said: DO NOT SETTLE!

Who should you go with? You should look within yourself for that answer. Try to not consider any other factors except for how you feel. Then make your decision based off of that.

[tealoctober]

thanks for straightening me out guys...

I think I'll use new years as a good night to start to move forward with Izzy. We wont be together that night, but a nice voicemail or email hinting about the next few months and starting to show my love for her for the first direct time might be a good thing imo.

thanks again