After a prolonged period of no physical intimacy in the past month I've had varying degrees of sexual contact (shy of actual intercourse) with a few different girls (Kiss goodnight, making out, and most recently stuff a little more hardcore). Two nights ago while reeeeeeeeally drunk I just got naked with my (former) roomate (last night of my lease). She is the biggest committaphobe girl, but indicated to then that she wants to **** untill she moves out of town (in about 2 weeks from now). So basically I get 2 weeks of strings free sex right? - (as a side: Not that i wouldn't wear a condom, but I also know that she can't have any kids...longer story)
Now get this though - I don't want it. For that matter any of the girls I've done anything with I didn't enjoy, with one exception. That exception being a girl I went out with a few times but she went back to her ex. I would have liked to have gone out with her (before the whole getting back with her ex thing). Otherwise I didn't want to date any of the girls, and when something happened I felt bad (for lack of a better word) about it.
This isn't the first time this has happened, everytime I've done something casually I felt shitty about it. Even when the girls I was with just wanted something casual too. I realised I don't enjoy physical/intimate contact with someone unless I want a relationship with them. The hell is wrong with me?
Has any other guy experienced this? Its totaly contrary to the messaging i've gotten through society...
Just thought I'd share this...