Money

[swanted]

here is the scenerio-
a couple is seriously dating and they go to plenty of movies and dinners ect.
the girl does not work and therefore has no income , the guy works and pays for all of their outings.

when the girl does have money she spends it on her boyfriend but it's rare that she is able to chip in for day to day expenses that occur.


this has been for about a year and now the guy brings it up and its become and issue
what are your thoughts????

[IndiReloaded]

Try to find activities that don't cost anything (or very little). Hikes, outdoor walks, picnics, etc.

If you feel the income difference is a problem, then you could mention her getting a job. However, if she is young & in school that may not be possible. In which case, its 'put up or shut up'.

Try this site for ideas:

[url]http://www.betterbudgeting.com/articles/frugal/frugaldates.htm[/url]

[Kromat]

Seems kind of like leeching, I would like for a relationship to have an equal contribution, so there's no fighting as to who pays for what.
If after a year she haven't figure out that it would be easier for the two of you to have some sort
of income and respect your guy for paying everything and still managing to keep you around.

I hate the scenario where the guy pays for all the expenses of the date.
What makes a girl so special that she has to have everything handed to her, even with these guys
not having pre-nups they expect as much money as they can get, not having to work for any of it.

This is part of the reason why there are so many singles out there, because the money becomes
such a factor that he can't meet her daily life needs and is put outside by someone that can.

P.S. Hopefully when I get a girl, she won't be all about herself, and will be there to chip in as much as she can,
because I'll be doing that anyways and with our leisure time, we can plan how to spend it together after that.

[vashti]

I think it is silly that a male would spend money to the point that he is resentful of it. If you are spending more than you want to, then stop it. Do like indi says, and find some less expensive activities. If the girl wants to go out more often, tell her you can't spare the money.

[Darkest Heaven]

This would be called a leech.
Your solution is to point out she is nothing without you, and dump her.

At least, that's what I did plenty of times. And ya know what? They call back the next hour begging you to come back because they know it's true.

[Lipp]

What's the full story behind it though? I mean, sure, she could be a leech if she sits around and does nothing all day, but say for example if she's studying full-time and doesn't have time to work because of that there might not be any other choice. But yeah, as mentioned, less expensive alternatives are a good solution, and she should be able to grow accustomed to it.

[sine24]

im in the opposite position..i work and my boyfriend doesnt. but you no what..it doesnt bother me much if i have to pay sometimes. he gets pocket money and most of the time we split the bill. For your situation:


1) the girl should get a job quickfast..if this is not possible, try doing odd jobs around the house and neighbourhood to earn some extra cash. even if she didnt have a boyfriend, she should at least have money to spend for herself.

2) limit outings per week. movies and dinner can get a bit boring. whats important is that you're enjoying your time together and not worrying about how much he has to fork out to cover your expenses. if you really like movies, you can rent one for a few dollars and spend a night in on the couch. as for dinners..try a homecooked meal. make your boyfriend something special or his favourite meal. this means not too much is spent on expensive meals, your boyfriend will feel appreciated, and it will be a nice change from what you normally would do.

my boyfriend and i go out maybe 2-3 times a week and we usually catch the train to unusual places and just go sightseeing.

3) the girl should understand that money doesnt grow on trees and that her boyfriend worked hard to earn it. this should reduce the amount of money demanded on the girl's half.

4) the girl should learn to be financially independent. dont depend on your boyfriend to feed, clothe and provide for you. differentiate between WANT and NEED.

[Kromat]

im in the opposite position..i work and my boyfriend doesnt. but you no what..it doesnt bother me much if i have to pay sometimes. he gets pocket money and most of the time we split the bill. For your situation:


1) the girl should get a job quickfast..if this is not possible, try doing odd jobs around the house and neighbourhood to earn some extra cash. even if she didnt have a boyfriend, she should at least have money to spend for herself.

2) limit outings per week. movies and dinner can get a bit boring. whats important is that you're enjoying your time together and not worrying about how much he has to fork out to cover your expenses. if you really like movies, you can rent one for a few dollars and spend a night in on the couch. as for dinners..try a homecooked meal. make your boyfriend something special or his favourite meal. this means not too much is spent on expensive meals, your boyfriend will feel appreciated, and it will be a nice change from what you normally would do.

my boyfriend and i go out maybe 2-3 times a week and we usually catch the train to unusual places and just go sightseeing.

3) the girl should understand that money doesnt grow on trees and that her boyfriend worked hard to earn it. this should reduce the amount of money demanded on the girl's half.

4) the girl should learn to be financially independent. dont depend on your boyfriend to feed, clothe and provide for you. differentiate between WANT and NEED.

Most girls are accustomed to their lifestyles, that they don't want to change themselves.
Unless she does it herself and agrees with her guy that she should make some money for herself, it's not going to work.

P.S. Also some women tend to be bitchy that their guy doesn't make enough and still makes more then them.
I say, you should live with what you have at the moment, and the rest will come with time.

[TrulyS]

Why doesn't this girl work?

[Cain]

I would also like to know why the girl isn't working.

[vashti]

I don't know why you all are villianizing the girl. If he is dumb enough to do something he resents for a year and has never complained until now, how is she to know this is an issue?

[Cain]

I don't know why you all are villianizing the girl. If he is dumb enough to do something he resents for a year and has never complained until now, how is she to know this is an issue?

I'm not villanizing the girl. I'm simply curious as to why she isn't working. The reason for this is going to be what influences my next answer.

[lesa]

When I first started dating a boyfriend of the past, I was a broke college freshman. I only paid for small gifts for birthdays, etc. He paid ALL the dates ALL the time. But when I got a job, he was thanked over and over with tickets to concerts and other items always costing over $100usd. I did that because I wanted to do it. He NEVER complained or asked. EVER.

Don't spend money on her if you don't want to do it. Find free activities to do.

[Illusional]

either the girl should get a job or the should do less expensive things like spending the day at the park and staring at the sky.

raverboy

[TrulyS]

I don't know why you all are villianizing the girl. If he is dumb enough to do something he resents for a year and has never complained until now, how is she to know this is an issue?

No Im not villainising the girl either, it was just a question which is very relevant when wanting to give an opinion

TS x