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Thread: I wasn't that into him...but now I just can't let it go easily.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    I wasn't that into him...but now I just can't let it go easily.

    I was dating this guys for 2.5 years, and we broke up a month ago. I don't exactly miss him THAT MUCH, but I cant stop thinking about him and keep on wondering what he's up to.

    I had to say I really liked him when I first met him. We did our intern at the same company that summer and we started dating after we went back to school...But every since we "officially" started dating, I started to feel confused, insecure and worried. I liked him majorly b/c he's a really nice person and he's been treating me nice. BUT we had personality problems, and that caused A LOT conflicts. I knew there was NO FUTURE for us, and I kept on telling myself to dump him once I could meet a better boy. We tried to break up a few times last year, but it never worked out. :S I was scared of bringing up the break-up thing, cuz I knew I would feel extemely lonely without him around me..not that I loved him and couldn't let him go. =( We had a fight again last month, so he broke up with me and I just felt terrible. But soon I realised that it was the right thing for us to do..cuz there's really no point to drag it out. But he called me after and said maybe the decision was made too quick? I told him "NO, it's fine." So this time, we ended for good.

    I want to remain a good friendship with him as I really do like him as a friend. I wasn't really romantically attracted to him, but I did like his company all the time. I still call him and email him these days and he does the same thing too. I know it's not the right step, but I just don't feel like to cut it off totally. SO now I feel like I "miss" him..kind of...not in a romantic way (I didn't even want to kiss him when we were dating)..but then if I picture him dating another girl, I'll feel soo jealous. It makes no sense to me and this feeling confuses me now. AND it really really really bothers me!!! AH..

    I don't want to get back to him. BUT i do want his attention still. I know this may sound ridiculous..but this feeling drives me insane sometimes. And I have this feeling I'll regret in the future as I prolly won't meet a better guy.

    Can anyone tell me whether the decision we made was totally right? Or maybe we could give it another try? I know I still like him (but it's prolly not love)I don't know why I just can't let it go easily. =(

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    You strung him along for two and a half years even though you have no romantic interest in him at all? Don't you know the difference between being a friend and being a girlfriend?

    You have been neither to him. Are you really that selfish???

    Carl.

  3. #3
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    He's not a puppet and you're not a puppetmaster... he deserves to be loved... not to serve as a slave to shower you with affection. You miss the ATTENTION... not him. There was no love here and you wasted 2.5 years of his life --- time that he could've used to find someone who would actually love him.

    Leave him alone... you are not a friend... not a girlfriend... nothing beneficial to him at all. Not once in your post did you ever talk about what he wants or needs... it's all about you.

    Review over your life and try to see beyond yourself... you'll realize there is a vast world full of endless possibilities --- far more complex than your own selfish desires. And maybe... one day, you'll learn what love really is... and realize what a horrible thing you have done to this man.
    Last edited by Aeradalia; 05-04-09 at 01:49 PM.
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

  4. #4
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    You are not a good person.

    The fact that you acknowledge all of this and still want to do things that will negatively affect him for your own selfish gain is disgusting.

    Leave him alone.

    He deserves a lot better than you.

  5. #5
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    Rent a movie or something. Have a heart, would you?
    Spammer Spanker

  6. #6
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    Agreed with everyone. You even say it yourself.

    I was scared of bringing up the break-up thing, cuz I knew I would feel extemely lonely without him around me..not that I loved him and couldn't let him go.
    and

    I don't want to get back to him. BUT i do want his attention still.
    After a break-up, we all feel as though we're never going to find someone better. What's important right now is that you figure out why you need to have a man in your life to feel worthwhile. You have to work on being self-sufficient and independent so that later on, when you attempt another relationship, you can be healthy and stable for the other person. Relationships are a partnership and each person needs to bring their own 100%. You didn't do any of this. Get to work, lady.

  7. #7
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    Put your selfishness aside and leave him alone. You don't want him, but you don't want anyone else to have him. Don't try and get back with him. It's a horrible idea to run back to him because you'd rather have him than nobody. You both deserve someone who you're completely into and the feeling is reciprocated.

    And don't try and become his friend anytime soon. Give him space and let him heal because I'm sure he was more emotionally invested in this relationship than you were.

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