What's her game?

[Grassy Tussock]

Hey

Firstly thank you to all thos who have given me advice before. Unfortunately it didn't work, and my girlfriend and I split up about 2 weeks ago. This is the same girlfriend who told me she loved me to death, and took me to meet all her family, who i think liked me too.

She was making it really hard for me for a while because of her work issues, and that was the reason she said perhaps she should go it alone. I think we split on amicable terms but I really was hurt.

The next week I thought well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I emailed her, offered her a ticket to a comedy show. She jumped at it, which I thought was promising. I really didn't hear from her then for the next two weeks. She did respond to a good luck text I sent (she had a big thing on the weekend) but I did make an idiot of myself, texting her i missed her after a night drinking.

I was resigned to the fact she would stand me up, having not been in touch, but lo and behold, she text me today, to arrange meeting. We met up, a little awkward but not as bad as I thought. We saw the show and it was great. We went for a few drinks after and I definitely made her laugh. She then started mentioning returning my things, which was a bit hard. We left with a kiss on the cheak, and she said she'd get in touch about doing another night next week.

I'm worried perhaps she feels compelled to do it. Perhaps she does want to meet up, but I suppose as a friend. I just cannot guage it, and it was wierd how much more critical of her I was tonight (I didn;t say it!).

I dunno what to do, leave her to get in touch. Do I hold out, as I was starting to resign myself to moving on, but back she comes....?

Any opinions appreciated

[vashti]

You ought not have taken her out, and she ought not have accepted. You two are broken up. That means you don't date anymore. She is not your friend, she is an EX-girlfriend. Time to stop all contact and think about moving on.

[Grassy Tussock]

I appreciate your comments but thats a little extreme isn't it? We kinda work together so its not going to fly to be hostile to eachother. We're both mature to not have that attitude. She knows how I feel, and she's old enough and ugly enough to make her own decisions about whether to come out or not. I don't deny financially i'm out of pocket, but i'd be sprised if she was simply taking advantage

[vashti]

Did I say you should behave with hostility? Did I say she was taking advantage of you? You missed my point entirely. You are not FRIENDS; you are former LOVERS. How can you be expected to get over her when you are still dating? (or at least trying to.)

You can try to be friends later, after you have fully gotten over one another.

[Grassy Tussock]

Good point. Well part of me is hoping it works out again... but I don't suppose it will. I still want it to work, I just wish I knew without doubt if she did or not...

[Gigabitch]

I wish she would be straight with you about this as well, but if you don't ask a direct question, you probably won't get a direct answer.

When one of you starts dating someone else, things will be a lot more clear, but for now, why are you doing this to yourself? Get your stuff back and move on.