Comments Girlfriend Made (A Size Thing)

[notafan]

Hi everyone. I’m new here. I’m having a variety of internal issues that are affecting my relationship with a girl, but I will just go into what’s most significant. Basically I dated this girl for two years, and I was always afraid to make it more. We grew close, and eventually decided to make it a relationship, or at least take that “next step”. Previously, we had taken mostly baby steps. We had already been sexually active by this time and she never gave me any indication there was anything wrong in this area, and I’m not used to there being anything wrong. I’ve generally received only positive feedback, and I’ve dated mostly girls who were real sexual and “size queens”. I’ve come to realize that in general, I have nothing to be ashamed of as I come in right at 8 inches, though I know that’s not “everything” and this sounds extremely immature – but there is a reason I go into this detail.

She had watched porn previously but got into the habit of it right before we got together “officially”, and had made some comments about it off and on, but given we weren’t “together”, I didn’t give it too much thought because I didn’t think of her as my only way of satisfaction despite me being loyal to her and not sleeping with anyone else along the way. Well, finally what sparked the problem is she made a comment about porn in general – a stereotype that she stated she believed was possibly true. I haven’t been the same since. The damage was done with this comment, though she took it back and even argued against it days later. She has since read evidence suggesting she was wrong and she supposedly no longer thinks this… and I guess you could say it’s a non-issue but I don’t know how she truly feels about it. I just know she is normally a very opinionated person, as I’ve told her and she has never made me feel insecure about anything else. I know for a fact she loves me and I feel that if she felt like she was satisfied with me in that area, she wouldn’t have a problem telling me – she too is a very sexual person and has commented on the importance of size on more than one occasion.

Despite her initial statement that caused the damage being “worked out” (though I don’t know the truth, only what she tells me now when I ask her) the damage that was done hasn’t gone away. How could after two years of her not telling me anything or making me feel like I am “good enough” to her can she convince me now after easily saying comments about porn? It doesn’t add up, and it’s driving me crazy. Everything else seems to be fine, and I know deep down I have nothing to worry about – because if she truly does believe anything I fear she might, she will eventually be in for a rude awakening – but I don’t want to feel like I’m being looked down upon. I never have now, and why start now. I do believe I have feelings for her, and she has feelings for me, because like with everything else about this issue, she is very vocal in telling me how she feels and makes it clear. Often times if we do try to talk about any of this, she cries, gets upset, struggles for words, and contradicts herself – and only says anything about it when I ask. She claims the reason for that is because I’ve told her I don’t even know if I can believe her at this point, and that’s true – but if she really wanted me to believe something, I’d just think she would try anyway instead of accepting me feeling that way.

I’m in my later 20’s and she is 22, but I don’t see that being a reason for anything in this instance. I just wish I knew how she really felt, and that she could open up to me in a believable way like she does about everything else – including porn. She has since stopped watching porn, though that really wasn’t the issue I had to begin with. I have decided to take a “break” and go back to how we were – dating because this is such a big issue to me. I could go to anyone else and not have this insecurity, but I wouldn’t care for them as I do for her either. Even though the fact that she loves me should maybe be enough, it doesn’t fill that hole that is missing now sexually – if that makes sense. Does it make sense?

[vertical_sky]

Um... what was the comment?

[VincenzoG91]

I'm guessing that it has something to do with Blackzilla.

[girl68]

If she still wants your dick after seeing huge dicks after 2 years why in the hell are you stressing?

[sweetkissesforu]

Another size issue dont let her bug you

[notafan]

Well, basically she made a comment about the racial stereotype based on porn, but didn't really know what they tend to look for in porn when it comes to that sort of thing. It made me feel like she no longer felt like I was big, despite her saying I was "above average" and all that... it just made anything nice she said go out the window.. and maybe I shouldn't care, but every time you sleep with someone and you feel like she feels there are a lot of bigger guys out there (especially if you have never felt that way before) would that bother you?

[steviej]

This seems more to do with her immaturity, if she enjoys sex with you then there shouldn't be a problem!
She's made a mistake with her comment, she now knows she's wrong, she has apologised to you.... what else can she do?

You need to push it from your mind and move on.

[Lixer]

Dude really? If she is with you still, just get over it.

Less fighting and yelling, more playing and smanging!

[notafan]

I'm not arguing with anyone's logic at all, and I know I can't justify mine as to why I can't seem to get over it... she admits that she made a mistake, but a part of me still feels that she feels that way and she seems to get upset and quiet when we talk about it... which is normally not her at all. She is very opinionated. I've never been insecure about anything else with her, so I just feel like I have my reasons. This is new ground for me, and I don't know how to handle it. I don't want it to bother me, but it does. I just don't know what a solution is, given we've disscussed it a couple of times already. I've told her that I feel I know the truth, and she says that I am wrong, but doesn't attempt to convince me at all. I've left plenty of chances out there.. Just hope that time fixes it or she makes herself more clear if she does truly not feel the way I feel she does.