What does he feel for me? What should I do? Confess? Ask out? Give time?

**shurtugal93** · 04-06-08, 11:25 PM

I love Paco since Feb last year.Having lot in common we became friends quickly but he started going out with Alice in Apr.Noone knew he loved her not even his best friend.He realized I love him coz I cried a lot.From then when I was sad he came&said he was sorry&that he didn't mean to hurt me,that I'm his friend so he cares about me.He broke up with Alice over the summer.I heard him telling my friend that she wasn't'what he was looking for'.After we went back to school several weeks he talked a real lot to me, joked around with me, laughing at all my jokes then suddenly the amount of talking decreased.He started treating me different from other girls;he'd play pranks on them and joke around,but to me,he'd make a joke/say something mean then say'Kidding!'with a smile.He said he thinks he saw me at an airport.I caught him staring several times but he'd always turn away.He'd stand in line beside me at lunch,ask me to help with hw(once when we met he kept asking me to come early), talked to my friends a lot,asked them why I cry a lot(I did once coz his friend Stef was teasing me if I still love him)& came over and said'Dunno what Stef told you but I'm sorry for it...'then he told Stef he shouldn't laugh when someone cries coz of him.Once my friend offered to help me&he said"I can do it better than YOU."pushed her away&started helping me.He started acting like he actually loved me.All my friends told me to confess&I decided to do it in Nov.For a few days I sent him love poems.One day,on MSN:
Pascal:It's you who's been sending me love poems?You loved me last year so...
Me:That wasn't love,I realized.Anyway,how'd I know who sent you poems?Ask someone else.You're popular huh?
Pascal:I don't like being 'popular'.It's uncomfortable.But I thought it should be you.They're so beautiful&you're the only one who can write like that in our class.
Me

unno ask someone else.Anyway,why do you wanna know?D'you love someone?
Pascal:No
Me:Then I think it's better if you don't ask around.If you got to know who it is and talk to her about it,she'd be hurt coz you don't love her.
Pascal:ok it's better if I dunno then
But after,he went&asked 3 of my friends if it was me.A few days later I met up with him in front of his house:
Me:Hey!
Pascal:Hey!(starts walking to his house)
Me:Um it was me.
Pascal:What...
Me:It was ME.
Pascal:Oh, the poems?Uh it's ok, did I tell you it bothers me?Well it doesn't.
(silence,he suddenly comes to me)
Pascal:You know...When I went out with Alice we had a lot of problems and all so I decided it'd be better to not love anyone for now.
I knew my eyes were teary so I nodded&started going my way.I looked back.He was still there.He waved then went into his house. For a few days it was sorta awkward between us then he started acting even MORE like he loved me.He was always near me,he looked at me but when I was sad,he no longer asked me why I was sad but asked my friends.He complimented me when I did a new drawing or got a good mark on a test,sometimes writing stuff like'It's bad,do better'for a joke.While looking at class photos when my face came up he said'It's you!'so I said'I know,it's ugly.'then he said'I NEVER said that'.When I was listening to a sad song,he took my iPod,played'I'm with you'& started looking at my photos with me.Once,he was using his sister's MSN account and I didn't believe it was him&as a proof it was him he chose to tell me about the poems I'd given him&put a smile.When I was sick&didn't go to school,I saw that he'd talked to me on MSN,asking if I was sick&asking 5 times if I was there;this happened twice.While talking of the mean Eng teacher,he said he wants to sit next to me coz I'm good at taking notes.He also told me to not take the teacher too seriously when she screams at me,which she does a lot.In the library,there was'I love you'written on the wall.He asked me if it was me.I said no and ran away&he was calling after me.Later he came to ask me if I knew a book he'd read.When I was going down the road with my friend,he was all the time behind us then surprised me in front of the cafe across from his house.Another time he ran up to us and started joking around.When our teacher's computer didn't work and she asked me to help,Paco offered to help me.Once there were about 5 girls flirting with him but he came to me just to talk of what his French tutor made him do.I gave him a CD for Xmas&he was fascinated saying he should buy me something.In Jan,me,him,a guy friend and a girl friend went to an amusement park together but he seemed sorta nervous when I was next to him on a ride.First, to his other friends,he had said he wasn't going but then when I asked he said he didn't know,but he came anyway.I bought a ring there and showed it to him;he told me he has the same ring.On MSN he asked me to share folders with him.He responds randomly to my comments&started coming over to me when I play the piano in music class.He said sorry when I fell over though it wasn't his fault.I write stuff like hw on my hand&twice,when I was waving at him he seized my hand and read what I wrote.When a new guy started flirting with me,Paco joked to me,'D'you like him?'.Before I could answer the flirt said'She's crazy about me.'I made a hand gesture&then Paco was laughing,saying'Hah,that means she hates you,no?'When I almost tripped,he put his hand on my back to stop the fall,&asked if I'm ok.When we did a science project in groups of 4,instead of copying on his friend he copied my results,though they were less accurate.I overheard him telling people saying mean stuff about me that I'm a kind,gentle person.2 times when we were took class photos at camp,he put his arm around me and his guy friend's necks.When we had barbecue at camp in groups of 4,I was with Paco,Stef,and a girl friend.I was doing all the cooking.Suddenly he asked me'Aren't you gonna eat?'so I told him I'd eaten.After a moment,he told Stef&the girl to stop eating&give the rest to me,though Stef didn't listen.When the flirt ventured in behind me in a transparent cave ending in a pond,he said to my friend'He's buggering her again,should I go in too?But that tunnel's too narrow.What if she falls in?'He lied to Stef he had to go to a family reunion&came to play with me,his best friend&my best friend.He told his best friend that Stef's a jerk,eating all the food&all.He also said he doesn't hang out with Stef after school anymore either.Next day,my best friend told me he'd told her he doesn't understand why I don't talk to him if I love him&that he asked if what I said on MSN,'it wasn't love'was true.When I helped him during computer class,he accidentally(?)put his hand on mine,which was on the mouse.During an oral test he mouthed a word to me when I couldn't remember.I gave him a Bday gift&he asked me when my Bday was.But since a few days ago he barely talks to me at all.When I talk to another guy he goes to talk to another girl.He doesn't say a word.He just waves when he sees me&sometimes cracks a joke or comments when I speak.He stares or avoids me when I talk to his friend,sometimes repeats a word I say but that's about it.There's also the matter of Stef.Everytime I even glance at Paco he chuckles&I've noticed Paco never even looks at me when Stef's near.Once,Stef threw his bag at me and forced Paco to do it too.But then,when I was painting a vase of flowers in Art class,Stef asked Paco to come see what I was doing,saying it's good.Paco smiled,added another flower then quickly went away.Another time,Stef joked,'You 2 would make a good couple.'When I said,'Are you crazy?'he said,'You're telling me that?Go on,tell Paco he's crazy too.'then he said that me&my friends are'immature'to Paco but he didn't answer.He said a song I was listening to was horrible but Paco put on my earphones&started dancing.In computer class he showed me the site for our fave book&lent me the new volume.One morning,we went up the stairs together but didn't say a word to each other.During May vacation I asked him to go to SkatePark.First he said he'll see if he can fit it into his schedule&he emailed me saying,"Let's go on Fri. but can Paul come with us?'so I said"OK"coz I didn't want him thinking I was thinking of this as a date but he didn't phone Paul.On Fri I went to the place we were supposed to meet but he wasn't there.I phoned his house and his mom told me she'd sent him shopping.That day I went to his house with Paul&Platina,but he ignored me.Few days later I went to China with my family&received an email from Paco.It didn't mention anything about the day we were supposed to meet but it said"Isa,it's Paco.I'm sending this coz it's urgent.Can you send me the research we did for our Eng project?My computer got a virus&everything got deleted.& look at the attachment,you'll love it!Kisses,Paco"It was a little shocking coz he'd never said'Kisses'to me in an email before.The attachment was a computerprogrammed cat(on my screen right now).Also,he could have asked anybody else on our team;why me?&before when I sent him help with hw he never responded but this time he said'Thanks!See ya'by email.After vacation,he still barely talks to me&Stef keeps on teasing me subtly about me loving Paco.In one History class we were talking about citizenships.I've lived in Canada(Paco's home)&I like it a lot.I told the teacher as a passing comment"I wanna get the Canadian citizenship."The teacher said,"Well you can just marry Pascal!"I was acting like it was disgusting & Paco said'I'm going away next year."But then Stef was saying stuff like'HAHA what a marriage that'd be!God, does she look happy. Poor Paco'&Paco told him to shut up.These days Pascal still doesn't talk to me much though a bit more than before.&when we were pushing Paul into the metal boxes in the cafeteria he put his hand over mine twice...I dunno what to do.