I can get any girl...so why don't the girls I like stay attracted?

[Teezy]

Ok, well i'm not trying to sound cocky or boast here, but I've been with a lot of girls before and I know that they like me. But the thing is, when I like a certain girl, I must do something to show weakness because they never stay attracted to me.

I have a hard time telling girls how I feel.

But I have one night stands and fvck buddies all the time. It's just that as soon as a girl comes around that I actually like, I get all nervous like I have to say the right things. It's wierd, and in turn they lose interest. Then I get mad at her or mad at myself.

Point is there's this girl i'm working with right now, i'm 22, she's 19. She says stuff like "omg tyler I love you" like when I showed her my chest tattoo. And I can tell she's attracted but then at the same time i'm doing this girl emilie right now and she's all "you should hang out with emilie tonight, get some of that french lovin" and i was all "nah, i'd rather hang out with you" then she ends up going home with another guy! Right in fvcking front of me! I was in the same cab.

That pissed me off. I met her at work, took her out, bought her a couple drinks, then she goes home with another guy right in front of my face.

It's like, all the girls I don't like love me, and all the girls I do like don't. Anyone have advice here?

[dreamer101]

well teezy you sould like a slut. stop all the sluty business and the girls that you like will start respecting you.

[vashti]

The girl you like probably sees you as a player, and no self-respecting girl wants to be played, no matter how adorable you are.

[Mathias]

I don't see this as anything more than Karmic justice. You're one of those shithead guys that makes it difficult for honest and caring guys. I hope you get chlamydia.

Wow, you're bitter.

[Taranee]

Congratulations, I think you have just ran into a girl who's got self respect. I know this may sound impossible to you but guess what:

there are girls on this planet who don't feel the need to lower themselves to players like yourself.

[Teezy]

Whoa whoa whoa guys, first things first.

NONE of you know me, ok? Before you start throwing out accusations and telling me i'm a dirtbag, let me tell you a few things.

I love women. I respect them. When I said 'a girl I actually like' I meant a girl that I feel more attracted to than a friend.

It's not like i'm hooking up with these girls, then never calling them back (unless it's a mutual one-night-stand).

I never burn bridges with girls and i'm still friends with all of them. So get that part through your heads right now. Jesus.

I'm not a player, and when I DO have a girlfriend, I put 110% of my heart into it, and care about her more than anything, but in turn that usually yields her losing interest, that's what I can't figure out.

I'm not a "player". I don't "play" girls. I love girls, and they love me too. I don't have sex and then tell them to "get out". I give them a massage, then buy them breakfast, and if the chemistry is right, then we'll meet again.

You guys made way too many early accusations. And if you don't have any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, i'd appreciate if you wouldn't reply to this thread. Thank you.

[Gigabitch]

What was thw question, again?

j/k Teezy, you just haven't met the right girl yet. The girl you describe above is a skeeze. Raise the bar, would you? As described, you are a Quality Guy who has the luxury of being able to choose who he'll pursue- so choose well.

[vashti]

You BEING a player and people SEEING you as one really aren't the same thing, now are they? Don't be so defensive. YOu like a girl who knows you are having sex with someone else, right? I am merely telling you what *I* would be thinking.

[Teezy]

Vashti, I would give up the girl i'm sleeping with in a second to have this other girl.

I feel like i'm playing the jealousy card on purpose, like i'm playing hard to get. But that's how I am with girls I feel attraction with, I don't know I start thinking too much.

We both really connect on a mental level, we have so much in common, and I can tell there's sexual tension between us, which is a good start. It seems that everything is in even flow, but I just can't pull the trigger with this one, there's the other girl that i'm worried that SHE's (the girl I'm attracted to) thinking about.

Vashti, let me ask you this:

If I were to try to prove to her that she was the only girl I was interested in right now, would that be the right move? Or would that make her feel like she's on a pedastal, and I absolutely do not want her to think she is there. I like her, I think she knows I like her, i'm pretty sure she likes me. She's still young, she's 19, and i'm 22.

I told you, I think too much.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Vashti, let me ask you this:

If I were to try to prove to her that she was the only girl I was interested in right now, would that be the right move? Or would that make her feel like she's on a pedastal, and I absolutely do not want her to think she is there. I like her, I think she knows I like her, i'm pretty sure she likes me. She's still young, she's 19, and i'm 22.

The only way to prove that she is the only one you are interested in is to dump the girl you're sleeping with. If you're not willing to do that, then you don't really like this girl as much as you claim to.

Okay.......why don't you want her to think she's on a pedestal? Ever heard the saying, "A woman's place is on a pedestal"? She wants to feel that you put her above all other women, you know, like loyalty? Fidelity? Devotion? Faithfulness? Commitment? Any of this ringin' a bell?

[vashti]

I agree with CherriBlossom about your needing to get rid of the other girls.

[Gigabitch]

I agree about the pedestal thing. Just put yourself up there too.

Any girl worth having is not going to tolerate you sleeping with others. You can't have it both ways.

[TDurden]

Dude, this girl knows you're sleeping with someone else. Why would she be going back with you? Cherri and Vashti are right, you need to stop ****ing this other girl if you want a chance with the girl you really like. Think rationally for a minute. If this girl told you she was sleeping with some guy, would you think "omg she clearly luvs me i'll ask her out lol"? No, you wouldn't.

[Teezy]

Those are all very good points. I think I will stop seeing the other girl.

And CherriBlossom, when I said I don't want her on a pedastal I didn't mean I didn't want to care about her a lot, I just didn't want to be looking UP at her, because then she is in control, i've been there before, and I got taken advantage of...that shit hurts. I like this girl more than any girl right now, and I will put her on the pedastal among women, but I will always try to remain on top is what I was trying to say.

[jurupa]

Those are all very good points. I think I will stop seeing the other girl.

And CherriBlossom, when I said I don't want her on a pedastal I didn't mean I didn't want to care about her a lot, I just didn't want to be looking UP at her, because then she is in control, i've been there before, and I got taken advantage of...that shit hurts. I like this girl more than any girl right now, and I will put her on the pedastal among women, but I will always try to remain on top is what I was trying to say.

It is not good to always be on the top. If your always on the top then you will domaint the relationship and ruinning it for you and for her as well. If you let this girl be on top as well and share the power with her equally the relationship will be a lot more blanced and will last longer.