I'm trying to save our relationship...he's not!

[Noemi23]

Ok...
My BF and I started dating about a year ago and I knew from the beggining he was going to move may of 2006, but didn't really think I was going to love him so much. I thought it would just be a summer thing.
Well, we both fell in love with eachother and a month ago he took a test to get into grad school and did really bad so we thought he won't get in and move away until next year.
He just found out he did get in and I was happy for him but cried for 2 days in a row. He's going for a summer to summer program. I asked him to come back home when he's done with his first semester and then go back next summer. I also told him I'm moving in with him just for the summer and he declined both of my offers.
I don't understand, I know that's he's dream, to move away and go to gradschool but what about us? He said he would do anything for me but I don't really belive him.
I'm trying to find a way for us to be together and not have a LDR (because i can't do it) and he won't accept either of my ideas.
What should I do? I always put him before my friends and we see eachother every day but I started to hang out with my friends insead of him and I think that kinda bothers him.
Please Help!

[Ellynn]

I hate to break it to you....but it sounds to me like school is more important right now. Which I know....breaks your heart. But honestly....."You can't make someone your everything...without risking ending up with nothing" And I know that might sound pessemistic....but its the truth. YOu know how much grad school means to him......so let him go. I mean you even offered to move in with him...and he declined. Maybe its his way of telling you that he wants to focus on school.....or he just doesn't want to be together anymore..and wants some time apart. Either way....theres not much you can do.

I say talk to him. Explain to him how you feel. And ask him how he truly feels....about the two of you. More then likely......he will tell you. Its only fair to you.

And another thing..... One thing I tell people who date....(and yet notice happens alot.) Is NEVER to distance yourself from friends when in a relationship. You never know when you really might need them. Plus its healthy to have a social life of friends outside of a relationship. If u don't....then your gonna be one lonely person... And its only fair for you to have a life outside of your relationship with him. So DON"T feel guilty about that!

Well anyways....good luck. Hopefully talking to him will clear things up about future plans.

[Quentin]

I totally understand how you're feeling. Currently, I'm clinging onto a girl I know that's going back to her home country for sure around June this year. Our relationship has been deterioting and I feel we're drifting apart.

Some naive part of me wants to believe she's distancing herself from me before her departure so I wont be hurt. Her distancing only makes me want her and miss her more.

This is my GCSE 'O' level year and my grades are crap. I cant concentrate very much in school or just gotten lazy. The only thing I look forward to is meeting her at the end of the week, for very short periods of time. Maybe you feel that way about your boyfriend too; missing him and trying to hold on?

I love this girl to bits and the memories of sweeter times make me cry. The fact she's never returning terrifies me. All I'm doing now is wondering and anxious when she's going back so I can spend more time with her before she does. Every week, I dread the thought of going to her apartment and instead of seeing her, a new tenant or her landlord will be there to inform me she's gone. Paranoia and insecure to the core, I know.

My advice, although this might sound hypocritical; slowly let go. Dont end up like me, it can drive you to madness. Slowly let go. One step at a time. I'm past point of no return with this girl. There was a point in time in my relationship where I asked myself, is this what I really want? For my world to revolve around a single girl?

I ignored the question and went ahead. Concern turned to obsession and now its bordering on madness. I'm sure you're a strong girl that can carry yourself through this.

Slowly let go.