When there's no affection in a relationship (PLEASE, PLEASE READ & REPLY!!!)

[James]

Hello everybody my name's 'James' I just joined the forum today! Firstly i just wanna say a big hello to everybody, I hope taht you're all ok!!!!

Now onto my problem.
I met this really sweet girl (i mean really sweet) everything a guy could wish for, she really made me happy (to begin with). The first week we started going out i saw her practically everyday but for the last three weeks I have hardly seen her at all. I really ty to make an effort and show my affection towards her (without going over the top) by buying her flowers and making her small things. The problem is that she shows very little enthusiasm in the relationship although she says that she wants to be with me. At the start as I have said I saw her nearly every day but now (one month) into the relationship im lucky if I get to see her twice a week because she is so busy. It seems as though she's not really bothered about me now that she's with me. We sit sown on the bed an it's like were just friends, she rarely goes to kiss or hug me and i'm always the one that initiates the hugging & kissing.

It was our one month anniversary the other day and I made an effort to say thankyou to her for baing with me and told her how happy I was to be with her and she totally ignored the text and carried on as if it meant nothing to her what so ever which upset me a bit and really puzzled me.

She's indian and her parents are strict and she has told me that she is a bit scared of getting close to me incase she she starts to really like me and her parents find out an give her a hard time. I respect that but she just seems to be holding back and letting me do all the work. I messed up in my last relationship and i'm really trying to put everything I can into this one but 'she's making me sweat just to told her attention'. I feel like i'm giving and giving but i'm not getting anything back... i just want a kiss & hug and even when she does give me one she just seems to be doing it because she feels as though she has to not because she wants too. She has a few personal problems at the moment which (i do understand) may prevent her from putting effort into this relationship. But she seems really distant from me, I want to help her but she just keeps herself to herself and shuts me out. I like her so much, she was sweet, funny, caring and made me feel good at first but I just don't feel as if i'm wanted anymore... it seems as though a hug or a kiss is too much effort for her. I really like her but I an't go on like this, i've told her how I feel and she said that she's not the type of girl that sho'ws her partners that much affection. I've tried to come toterms with it but I'm finding it really hard. I don't want to leave her because she is such a nuce person but at the same time i'm starting to develope the attitude of fcuk her she donsn't care about me i'll just so the same to her and that's NOT how I want it to be.

I don't know what to do... all I want is a little affection just a hug or a kiss or even a few simple but sweet words no sex or touching just a hug & kiss!!!

Thankyou for reading this, I hoe that you can help me any advice will be much appreciated, byeeeee
James

[moeburn]

Make her want you. I'm sorry to be blunt, but thats basically what i feel has happened. You've made her believe she doesn't need to participate in the relationship. Fade away for a while, and see what she does to you.

[misombra]

i agree. maybe back off with the roses and sweet talk, a lot of girls out there don't think those things are more annoying than important. you have to let her do these things once in a while. maybe she just needs to know that you're hers for a while before she gives you affection, or she's not attracted to you in that way. who knows. maybe you should ask her.

[joe schmoe]

I can't disagree with the comments above, back off and see what happens. Although give her some leighway (sp.) its hard for an indian girl to be in a relationship that is against everything shes been taught... give her time she'll come round to it