Unstable ,slightly mad girl
Okay...so About a month ago I met this girl. I knew her a little from some friends before...but never really spoke to her or anything. As things go though , after a music festival we were both at , we hung out and got on well etc , Started getting close. She's absolutely bonkers...we have running jokes about ruining china , and aeroplanes made of cheese and green socks. That sort of mad shit. I don't know why...but her insanity makes things better. Anyway...A week ago I had my birthday Party , at which we spent the whole night together , Drinking , cuddling , holding hands and so on. We went around with our arms around each other and it was really nice. She drunk too much and I carried her to bed , Helped her get in and so on , went back to my party. Next Morning , She wakes up , comes up to me and lays her head on my chest and hugs me. I mean...I was pretty sure she liked me at this point. We hung out all that day , and I took her to the cinema a couple days ago , afterwhich she invited me to go hang out at hers. I left after a few hours of star wars and guitar hero and went home in a good mood. Her best friend Has spent most of the time period since i met her convincing me the girl likes me. But yesterday.. she calls me and says she doesnt. Apparently she asked and said not really. Now...Im not sure where to go here. Apparently not really doesnt mean no...but Every time I've used it ...not really = NO. Im confused as ****...Im not great at girls..but I thought I knew when someone liked me. now I just feel a bit lost...and a bit terrified about how much Im going to have to see her and deal with the pain of rejection. Hanging out with her is going to be hard enough but I'll miss the times we've hung out alone ...but that tiny little bit of me still hangs on to the fact her best friend thinks theres hope. But the pessimist in me knows how many times i've been here before. Just not with a girl so unstable. So what Im asking is what to do? give up hope and abandon ship , try and remain distant , push harder? Atm I havent even left my house since i heard :-/
"Nobody , so long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life , is without trouble. Carl jung