Urgent help needed from the ladies!

[Eskate85]

Okay here it is. I was going out with this girl for almost a year(11 months). Everything was great for a long time and we were having a blast. Around month 8 or 9 we started to fight a little more often. It was nothing serious, just small fights then we would eventually talk it over and it would be fine. She is a year younger and I was getting ready to go to college. But through all of this my family and I were making a permanent household move out of state. It was really getting me upset/depressed that I would be leaving for a few weeks, but eventually coming back for college(which is like 40 min. away from where she lives). She had the idea of coming to pick me up on the weekends from school so i could stay with her, then she could take me back also. I was all for it, and i genuinely wanted it to work out that way. The week before I had to leave to move into the new house that is 2 states away, things got kinda messy. I was really scared/worried/depressed/busy with the whole move. Then on thursday of that week before i moved, I called her and we talked innocently like we always do. I actually dont remember how it all got started, but midway through the conversation she started to get really emotional and was crying and everything. All i really remember about the call was that she said, " I think we need some time to think things over." It hit me like a ton of bricks, i didnt understand. She said she thinks we both need some time, and that she's not sure if she wants a long term relationship right now. I was a complete wreck for a few days, and i just didnt know what to do. We're still not completely broken up, she is still thinking. I am here at my new home, and i miss her so damn much. She wants to maintain little contact, and even before I left she didnt want to see me. Only until the day before i left did i see her for the last time. I am going to college in 2 weeks, but if she doesnt know what she wants by then i dont know if i should end it, or just wait and see. I love her so much, and i want nothing more than to be with her. But its not up to me. But i just wanted to know what you girls thinkn she means and how i should take interperate it. This is kind of a condensed version of the story, but if you have any questions about my situation just ask and i will reply. Please help! Thanks!

[clynn]

Keep things open with her if you still love her, but try not to hang on too much. Leave the contacting up to her. If she wants to call or contact you, she will. In the meantime, you have a lot to focus on, college and the new house.

It is difficult (very much so) for couples to stay close when dealing with separations such as what you mentioned. Even if you're going to college only 40 minutes away, that is still a big difference from how you've been living currently. Probably she is feeling that stress, and clearly you are too.

Do you think that she could be beginning to resent that she offered to pick you up and take you back every weekend? Did you ever offer to take a bus or train instead? (I assume you don't have a car). Even if she offered, she may be beginning to feel that this was a big commitment to be making.......

I think that you should commit to being friends with her for now and hope that you can remain close at this time.

All the best.

[Tone]

Story sounds a lot like my first ever girlfriend. We were together 11 months and one day out the blue when I came to her house to pick her up she just gave me a note and went back inside. I knew exactly what she was gonna say before even reading it. I was only 17, and it sucked to deal with... but you gotta do just that - deal with it. You can't change the past, she's obviously not the one for you - so the sooner you move on and focus on other areas of your life - the better you will feel and the better off you become.

[clynn]

Yikes. Dumped by a note.