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Thread: Breaking up...Doesn't feel right

  1. #1
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    Breaking up...Doesn't feel right

    I just broke up with my boyfriend of two months and I don’t know if I should have tried to accept his imperfections more earnestly. I suspected that he was geeky but it didn’t bother me in the ‘beginning’. Then all of a sudden his imperfections started to freak me out.

    We were one of those couples that fell hard for each other and started to talk about the future, professing love (I was just starting to feel those ‘Love’ feelings and he was head over heels IN Love). I care for him a lot and feel that he is a wonderful person; caring soul, generous, loving, knows how to communicate, attentive, etc. My main question is about imperfections. How do you accept someone’s imperfections? His imperfections such as being overweight and not taking good care of his body, constantly putting me on a pedestal, being socially awkward (nerdy, weird tics), and being inexperienced in r’ships were starting to accumulate and bother me intensely. And I kept playing mind games with myself like would you rather have someone who was skinny and treated you poorly or someone who was overweight and treated you like a Queen? Would you rather have someone who was the obnoxious life of the party or someone who was quiet and introspective? Yada yada yada.

    I got out of the r’ship because I didn’t want him to fall any more for me, spend $ on me (Christmas), while I was trying to see if I could handle his oddities. He was more than willing to put a stop on anything that icked me out which just made me feel really weird (pedestal thing).

    Usually people get out of r’ships because they are unhappy, the other person is detracting from their life, they fall out of or don’t love the other, or they can’t get along. None of these apply to my situation. I was not unhappy just slightly embarrassed by him sometimes, disappointed that he doesn’t want to be fit or take me up on my offer to be his exercise partner, and weirded out that he seems to worship the ground I walk on. Ugh! Can you make any sense out of this? Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling.

  2. #2
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    You did him a favor. Don't feel bad about it. Find someone more suited to you and he'll do the same.
    Spammer Spanker

  3. #3
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    His imperfections were there to begin with, but you didn't notice them. Perhaps you wanted the ground you walked on to be worshipped for awhile until your confidence was back up to a good level at which point in time you didn't need him anymore.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  4. #4
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    Nah, you did him a favor.

    If he's smart at least...if he's not, he'll continue making the same mistakes.

    I think you're better off.

  5. #5
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    you're never going to find a person who doesn't have imperfections.

    plus there's only a limited amount of guys that are willing to treat you that nicely.

    but if you're that turned off by it, then you did the right thing in letting him go. just be aware of the first two things i said...
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by WillaTree View Post
    How do you accept someone’s imperfections?
    That's the power of LOVE! For real. Haven't u asked "how can I stand myself?" sometimes. It takes patience & understanding. U need to think from that person's point of view. Since no one's perfect it makes it easier. If u acknowledge u have imperfections and he accepts u for who you are, why wouldn't u accept him?

    He just wasn't the right one for you. Considering u don't sound very sad from the breakup!
    God never closes a door without opening another one!

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