completely confused

[Gairaac]

okay... so my name's jonathan, and I am confused. I began going out with a girl... we'll call her emily just during this story... about 3-4 weeks ago. She is awesome, though we never met outside of School, and usually only talk here on myspace. Yesterday she tells me that she wants to "take a break from me" so she can concentrate on her grades and other things, and that she still loves me, because she has trouble thinking about anything but me... this is where the confusion begins. 1) what does she mean by 'take a break'? does it mean we're over... and should I be saddened, or does it mean let's slow down... and I should just be patient? 2) why would her grades be an issue DURING the christmas break, which just started yesterday?

I asked emily if there was someway that i could help her (knowing that geometry is one of her weak classes, and that i'm very good in that area), so that her grades would improve AND we could be together, spending even more time together than before... but she replied with a rather vague answer, "I don't know".

I'm beginning to think that the problem isn't that she want to concentrate on grades, but that she doesn't want to think about me because she doesn't think we'll be able to see each other during the holidays... so I'm going to call and talk to her later. I'm kind of hoping that I can talk to her dad about maybe going over and hanging with her every once in a while... to help her study, or to just have fun... because if she does still love me, then she's just as depressed as I am... and there's no way she'll be able to concentrate on grades if she's depressed.

Just give me advice as to how to go about this, and what else you think I should do...as quickly as possible, truth be told, i'm not a patient person... thanks in advance.

[Sumatra]

If she knows you two won't see eachother much over the holiday break, that doesn't seem like a reason to go on a break. Oh, and a break does not imply anything permanent. However, it CAN turn into something permanent. But the concept of a "break" is very vague itself. SO usually it can take some clarification on her part (since she wants the break) to determine the terms of it, ie: estimation of how long, why, etc. If she wanted to slow down, she would have said it, or maybe not, seeing as maybe she didn't think through what she wanted. Honestly, these are questions that would be best answered answered by her.

[Steve2004]

i hate when someone asks for a break. it seems like a bullshit way to slowly get out of a relationship...without..making the person asking for it seem like the bad guy.

Honestly, asking for a break because of grades during winter holiday doesn't make sense at all.

Now, not being able to see you..i've got ideas about where she's going with this if that IS her reasoning. if she thinks she can't see you and if y'all are on a break over winter holiday..she's got no attachments...and is then free to do what she wants...but that's only if the girl is mean and HEARTLESS..and...if she is you dont need to be messing around with her anyway.

those were my theories...obviously nothing's for sure until she says it herself.

</advice>

[Gairaac]

If she knows you two won't see eachother much over the holiday break, that doesn't seem like a reason to go on a break. Oh, and a break does not imply anything permanent. However, it CAN turn into something permanent. But the concept of a "break" is very vague itself. SO usually it can take some clarification on her part (since she wants the break) to determine the terms of it, ie: estimation of how long, why, etc. If she wanted to slow down, she would have said it, or maybe not, seeing as maybe she didn't think through what she wanted. Honestly, these are questions that would be best answered answered by her.

you're right... I need to ask her these things, in a way that I can hear her say them... she's too vague online

[Jenrick285]

... grades around this time?
A Break? Like sumatra said, you're going to need some straight answers.
And steve is right about the break thing too!

If you think about it... It's the christmas'y time of season... One usually would like to be with the one they're closest to or something like that.... at least last I checked..

[Gairaac]

She has now blocked me from myspace. I called her to ask why, but her mom answered and said that she wasn't available, though I knew she was home. When I asked what time to call back, her mom rushed me off of the phone. I don't know why (it may be because she can't use the phone [due to her grades], or maybe she just doesn't want to talk to me.) I'm lost.

I sent her one last message, asking whether it's permanently over... or what. I think it is though

[Jenrick285]

Sorry bro

Although I don't know what myspace is, I'm sure it has some kinda text interaction... but if she can't give you the moment of a explanation, then it's her loss, lots of other girls out there.

[Sumatra]

Yeah, now i'd be pretty certain things are going down FAST. If she keeps avoiding your efforts to talk, then you will have to decide the fate of the relationship, which could be the best thing for you, and her in the long run. Goodluck!

[Junsui]

Bah, you made two of these threads. You've only been dating for 3-4 weeks and only see each other at school and talk on Myspace and she's already saying I love you? I assume you are saying it back to her, isn't that a little fast?

[vashti]

If she is taking geometry, she is in what? 9th grade? You are both too young to be saddled with a bf/gf obligation, and it sounds like she is becoming aware of this.