Education in a relationship future

[inconditional]

Hi, I am 30 yr old italian.dating a 35yr old American man for 6 years now. He is The One! Unfortunately the relationship seems not able to take off.He is not ready for "that" blind jump (marriage), he is not 100% sure I am the One for him I guess.I am in love -this is why I am so devoted, still waiting and hoping. BUT since new year arrived we've been talking big time about serious things like marriage&future together (finally).I have a high school diploma of foreign languages and I have been working for 8 years in an American environment- using my language skills and knowledge. I started almost right after high school-always wanted to get my own indipendence, earn and save some money for the future. Always loved my job - responsibilities and good pay is what I like the most. "The idea of a college degree " has been in my mind for the past two years. Study and Work (full time) is very very hard but I wanted to give it a try because I want more from myself and I don't want for my brain to go to sleep too soon So I am at school now.Of course I just started college and it officially takes 3 years if not longer. I don't mind I have no rush but I do somehow. He has a bachelor degree and a good job. He is very ambitious and very much big money-oriented. He always says "I want the best around - also the best wife.want you to get a master degree.education is fundamental" I agree w/that.Education is very important nowadays - but...It seems more like ANOTHER reason that keeps us separated-to take time.The other day I asked him "I have a job and have my own life here and you have your own things there - we both are working and earning money-do you think we will ever have the chance to "enjoy" each other one day?" and he said: " yes when you finish school". OK now I understand Education is very important but after 6 years you cannot tell me to wait longer bc I don't have a bachelor or master degree. It might take even longer than 3ys because I do work full time Monday through Friday and besides that I also give space to the other things that I enjoy doing in my spare time such as: tutoring, food class, astronomy class, work out, dance classes, hang out..so honestly I am not 100% focused on getting my degree "tomorrow"!I study for the exams but I do not rush it..and I am honest HE knows that.Moreover if we are now talking about a future and the possibility to go live in the States, I would rather work hard to get a degree there once we'll be settled/married. My Italian degree would not even be valid in States-I still would have to start over from zero. Wouldn't it make more sense? Am I being stupid and childish? If you love someone don't you love the person she/he is? I am quite confused.

[Gigabitch]

Um, if he wanted to marry you, he wouldn't let that get in the way. You're in over five years, which I think is the point at which you either commit or you don't. After 5 years, the likelihood of him actually marrying you decrease greatly.

It's a lame excuse, inconditional. He's wasting your time.

[lesa]

..so honestly I am not 100% focused on getting my degree "tomorrow"!I study for the exams but I do not rush it..and I am honest HE knows that.

Are you some distance apart? The way you feel about education he feels about marriage. So you guys have a MAJOR conflict here. You want marriage before education and he wants education before marriage. You both are not wrong or right. There's the problem. He is basically telling you it would be a cold day in ---- before he marries you since you feel it will be a cold day in ---- before you get the masters degree. He's speaking in code it would seem.

I too chose to complete my education before marriage and now I'm single because he couldn't wait.

You can't control him--only yourself.