I hate myself

[Essdeee]

What do I do from here when I was 21 my relationship of 4 years broke up by her cheating on me with one of my friends and to make it worse never saying anything to me ever again as if I was nothing 3 years after that (I know that's a Long time) I fell for someone else and they kinda done the same thing they didn't cheat on me but just stoped speaking to me so the 2 girls I have ever been serious about have left me to never see me again with no reason why. The second relationship we are ok now, few months after she emaild saying she was young didn't know how serious things were and she was stupid and was hoping to be friends which we are now.


Just these two break ups have destroyed me my self confidence is so low now and has been for a long time.
So low that I can't look people in the eyes when I talk to them, I'm unhappy with myself, I'm gaining weight, I'm unhappy with my job, I can't even speak to a girl I feel I have nothing about me that they will like so what's the point, I'm feeling people judge me so quick I've not met a girl in about 15 months I have no serious female friends I want to meet someone but I'm not even happy with myself so how can I expect someone else to like me.

What do I do? Is there anyone else who's had the confidence knocked by relationships and has effected them selfs into thinking there not good enough for anyone? Sometimes I just want to pack my things and startagain I feel everyone hates me what do I do I used to be such happy guy...

[pisces25]

Stop trying so hard to 'get' a girl. Forget about girls for now. Write a list of all the things you need to do to get yourself back. Start with finding a new job and joining a gym or setting up a regular fitness program. Everything else will flow from there.

[AnnonymousMan]

It wasn't that you ment nothing to her, it is that you mean nothing to her NOW. Women love to not say shit and expect for a guy to be a mind reader when they are unhappy. They never say anything until it is to late. You are your own man, stop kicking yourself in the ass. I suggest you stop building your world around the girl and start building your world around YOURSELF and a girl can choose to be apart of YOUR world. A girl is not the reason you live, YOU are the reason you live and YOU control your own life and what goes on in YOUR life, not hers. If this girl could do you in so bad, then forget her, it is her lose, not yours. I also suggest you gain some better communication and understanding with the next girl you date so you can see what her morals are, because cheating shouldn't be one of them.

[miffy]

Agree. Work on yourself and not on "getting" someone else. As hard as it is, loving yourself and being happy with your life on your own is the ONLY way to find happiness with someone else. You'll never have the confidence, indepence and maturity required otherwise, and it will only hurt.

Find a counselor, if you want to. Therapy can really help with these issues. Above all, be physically active, you are borderline depressed and nothing works better against depression than physical activity. Go to a gym, or go running, do yoga, or join a sports team. Find a job or get into an education, try to orientate yourself and go in a direction for your life. The partners will come later, they will not make you slimmer, happier or more confident.

[HeartIsAching]

OP: Yep, happens to most of us when we're young.

Annonymous Misogynist - I love the way you're so good at being effortlessly wrong and stupid while throwing out ludicrous generalizations. Way to be brah!

[Essdeee]

Thanks for your advise guys, when I broke up in the first relationship I did think of myself eventually I started to get my confidence back then I met the second girl. At the time this girl now became recovery, everything I went through in the break up with the first relationship didn't really matter, as in i wasn't wondering why I got cheated, or what I did wrong I was just happy I found someone new, then she does the same thing to me and that's where I am now.

I'm not to sure if I'm using these relationships as reason for letting myself go but getting to the point when you can look at people when they speak to you is the lowest point in my life, I hope I can come back on here later this year or next year and say all my confidence is back and I'm happy as ever. The second girl is still in my life we talk now and then, I have feelings for her and I hate seeing she's not doing well, which she's not at the moment because having some health problems and her boyfriend leaving her. I don't want to lose her completely especially now but that's probley what I have to do to get myself back on track. Thanks for your help guys

[Sixpacj]

OP: Yep, happens to most of us when we're young.

Annonymous Misogynist - I love the way you're so good at being effortlessly wrong and stupid while throwing out ludicrous generalizations. Way to be brah!

What was wrong and stupid in his statement, pray tell? I didn't find anything, but maybe I AM stupid...

What ludicrous generalisations did you find in his post?

[miffy]

Thanks for your advise guys, when I broke up in the first relationship I did think of myself eventually I started to get my confidence back then I met the second girl. At the time this girl now became recovery, everything I went through in the break up with the first relationship didn't really matter, as in i wasn't wondering why I got cheated, or what I did wrong I was just happy I found someone new, then she does the same thing to me and that's where I am now.

I'm not to sure if I'm using these relationships as reason for letting myself go but getting to the point when you can look at people when they speak to you is the lowest point in my life, I hope I can come back on here later this year or next year and say all my confidence is back and I'm happy as ever. The second girl is still in my life we talk now and then, I have feelings for her and I hate seeing she's not doing well, which she's not at the moment because having some health problems and her boyfriend leaving her. I don't want to lose her completely especially now but that's probley what I have to do to get myself back on track. Thanks for your help guys

All the best dude, enjoy life and relish every minute of it - we only live once.