So can someone give me some advice please?

[atac57]

I've told this girl, a long time ago that I like her, she knows that. I've known her since high school, we're in college, we do go to different colleges but they are in the same town. We agreed that we should be friends first before allowing anything romantic to possibly develop. We usually talk often on facebook, but we also get together when we can and play tennis (we played in high school). I admit I still don't know her quite as well as I'd like to, but I know she is a really good girl, I know that she would never do anything really bad, she dresses modestly, I can tell she has good parents who brought her up well, she also spends time with her family a lot. So heres the thing, shes having a birthday soon, shes turning 21. On her wall section (on facebook) I noticed that her and her friends are going to go downtown and have drinks (ok whatever), then she said her and her friend (its also her friends birthday) are going to run through downtown naked. Now, I realize that this may be a one time thing, maybe not, but I honestly think streaking is incredibly rude and crosses the line. It sort of hurts me that she would do something like that, I don't agree with it. On the other hand, there was one occasion where I jokingly said that once school was over during summer, I would "watch everything we had from work, porn included (kidding)" (i used to work at a video store at the time, it had an adult section in the back). I honestly do not watch that, it was a dumb joke, but she said, "you better not be watching any porn!!" I take it she was probably serious about that comment, so now I'm just thinking she's sort of hypocritical for telling me not to watch porn (which I don't) but she thinks its fine if she runs around naked on her birthday? So I'm not sure if she is just getting a temporary wild hair being in college or shes really not as sweet and innocent as she acts. I'm thinking this is probably just a phase thing, but I'm just afraid that something like this will scare me away and risk the chance of missing out on something good developing with us because I feel like we have plenty in common and shes definitely the type I'd like to marry someday (sans the streaking thing), but I don't want to blow it over something that might not be worth blowing it over. What are your thoughts? Do I need to talk to her about it, I know having a good relationship is dependant on good communication, will she get mad and defensive if I express my distaste for this? Thanks for your time, I know this was long.

One more thing I need to add, do not tell me I need to stop being "uptight or prude" or something stupid, these are things I value and you may not feel the same way, so don't waste your time telling me I need to change my values. I'm personally not religious but I try to have good morals, I'm not trying to be self-righteous or anything, I'm just saying this because people seem to get offended about that kind of stuff these days.

[MerryH]

these are things I value and you may not feel the same way, so don't waste your time telling me I need to change my values.

Oh, but it's okay for you to impose your values on her?

No, don't talk to her about it. You can't control what she does and you should never try to. You're just friends anyway, right? If my friend got all preachy over something that's pretty innocent, they wouldn't be my friend much longer. Maybe you should pick another girl as boring as yourself who shares the same values as you.

[atac57]

Oh, but it's okay for you to impose your values on her?

No, don't talk to her about it. You can't control what she does and you should never try to. You're just friends anyway, right? If my friend got all preachy over something that's pretty innocent, they wouldn't be my friend much longer. Maybe you should pick another girl as boring as yourself who shares the same values as you.

This is exactly what I was talking about... first of all what gives you the right to assume that I'm boring just because I hold the dignity of a woman's body at a higher regard than you do? I don't imagine you would want some random guys wanting to do dirty things and making sick jokes about the bodies of your mother, sister or daughter if she was running around naked in front of people. Thats incredibly disrespectful to think that being completely naked in front of complete strangers should be "pretty innocent." I bet you are the kind of guy who encourages this because you are a pig and reduce women to their body parts. If you're a women, you must have some kind of left wing feminist agenda because you feel threatened about how women get scorned by society for being promiscuous and men don't.

[atac57]

Oh, but it's okay for you to impose your values on her?

No, don't talk to her about it. You can't control what she does and you should never try to. You're just friends anyway, right? If my friend got all preachy over something that's pretty innocent, they wouldn't be my friend much longer. Maybe you should pick another girl as boring as yourself who shares the same values as you.

And your little comment about being preachy is just flat out stupid, if i didn't care about, know, or even consider someone my friend I would not say a word for that reason. However, you're telling me I shouldn't tell someone I care about when I think they're getting out of line because I don't want to sound preachy? Usually when you're friends with someone, your opinion matters, you don't quite get that from a stranger, that's what makes them different from a friend. Is that not the point of having friends, to give advice and let them know when you think they screwed up? Or in your case friends are so that you aren't lonely when you go streaking and do stupid crap to avoid being called “boring” as you so ignorantly put it.

[MerryH]

Aw, you're real mad, huh? Cheer up, sweetheart.

I'm going to pretend that you didn't just call me ignorant. Listen, since you're SO OFFENDED that I called you boring, read my reply without that part. It's valid advice.

[atac57]

Aw, you're real mad, huh? Cheer up, sweetheart.

I'm going to pretend that you didn't just call me ignorant. Listen, since you're SO OFFENDED that I called you boring, read my reply without that part. It's valid advice.

Yeah and I take it your cute little "cheer up, sweetheart" line is a means to get back at me? No its not valid advice, unlike you I actually care about my friend's dignity and I already told her what I thought.

[MerryH]

No? I don't need to "get back at" you. That's weird.

No its not valid advice,

You asked an internet forum for advice. I'm a member of this forum. Therefore, I am qualified to give valid responses to your dumb predicament. Also, it's the only advice you've gotten so far.

I actually care about my friend's dignity and I already told her what I thought.

Oh, did you? Good job! You've protected her honor and dignity. Now you can be comfortable pretending to be her best guy friend while you pine over her and she continues to ignore you. Guess what? You will never. ever. **** this girl.