Starting a relationsip with a good friend...advice

[football]

Situation:
I'm currently in college and have known this girl since high school, we didn't talk too much, just the occasional "hi" when we saw each other, and conversation now and then. Now that we're in college we have become much closer friends. I never really thought about dating her at all untill this last week. For the last week we have been on Christmas break, and I've hung out with her twice. The first time I ended up driving about 45 mins to her house, we watched tv, got to meet the family, and played some pool, just kinda hung out. I call her two days later and we make some plans to go out to dinner and then back to my house afterwards (I'm not into the whole one night stand so thats not what I was looking to get out of this and it didn't happen either). So dinner was nice, she ate off my plate to try some things (I've heard that is a good sign), constant eye contact and constant smiliing was there too. However I'm not sure if this is a date or just two friends hanging out. Back at my house we played more pool, we both love pool, I'm pretty good and she kicks my ass, it gives us a lot to joke about and we have fun at it. There was more "touching" of the hands than the time before, but I get that a lot when girls are cold and they always want you to feel their hands, so I dunno how clear the signals are on that one. She was also very excited me meet my parents...dunno what that means lol However what threw me off was that she ended up leaving at about 12:30 in the morning to go over to another guys house...now we are on christmas break and I know she hasn't seen this kid in a long time, but they did end up going to the movies together the night before. This girl isn't a player type, so I'm just hoping that they are just friends because she has known him much longer than I have known her. If it was a "date" then I might have some competition here...so thats where my phone call situation comes into play. I know you should wait about 3 days or so after a date, but with possible competition should I speed up the process, because this girl is hot so I can see this guy trying to get with her, however he goes to a different college and they would be 2 hours or so away.

Many people would say this is simple, and that it looks like we might have something going, but I've never really been able to date someone who I have known for a while and been good friends with. I seem to misunderstand the signals.... I'm also really good friends with her roomate and one of her best friends too so I if I screw things up with her I could mess things up with my other friend as well. I guess I should just take this slow, try to get more physical contact each time we hang out and see how this progresses. I'm thinking about invting her over to play some pool kind of a ritual, she is very good. Then watching a movie in my room.

Also what about asking my close friend and her roomate to try to find out some information about who this girl might like? I know I can trust this girl, she tells me stuff she hasn't told many people. However she is currently on vacation in europe untill Jan 4th...so should I try this over the phone and haver her call this girl up? I've always found this way to be kind of cheesy but many people suggest this tactic. I know there isn't too many questions in that...but any advice from personal experience with dating someone like this would be great...

[funsounds]

you could just be blunt...just find a way to tell her you're interested in her...ask her out on a date. or you could just keeping spending time with her and just ratchet up the heat a bit everytime and then try to make a move.

or you could be all high school and find out from the mutual friend if it's even worth trying...cuz she might not like you like that.

there are probably dozens of ways to proceed...they can all work...it depends on the people involved.

transitioning from friends to couples isn't hard at all if it's right. it'll feel natural. if it feels forced or difficult for either person, then it's not right.

[football]

transitioning from friends to couples isn't hard at all if it's right. it'll feel natural. if it feels forced or difficult for either person, then it's not right.

This sounds like very good advice. Do you think us going out to dinner was a date, kinda seemed like it? My current plan is to call her Christmas night, which would be 3 days since the last time we hung out. Wish her merry christmas, ask her how her day went, and then ask her if she wants to hang out after she gets off work on monday. Then play some pool, kinda step up the heat a bit, try to do more touching, feel out what kind of vibe I'm getting. Then watch a movie in my room and try to cuddle up with her if the night has been going well...and see where that leads. Hopefully we get to some kissing, or If not I grow some balls and try to give her a goodnight kiss when she leaves. I'm more anxious than nervous about this...it's really hard waiting to call this girl, especially when I think some other guy is after her too.

[football]

anyone else have any thoughts or advice on this...?

[theotherguy0123]

Why do you have to wait exactly 3 days to call her? Just ask her out, don't miss your chance while she's interested. Don't be so nervous, be urself, yes i know its easy to say hard to do, but try.

[football]

I've heard thats the perfect amount of time...you dont want to feel needy. If I called the day after that would be too quick. If I called today 2 days after, I coudln't do anything with her tomorrow anyways since it's christmas. Now I can call her on Christmas wish her a merry christmas, have a good conversation topic for about 5 minutes, then ask her out again for monday night, and begin to step up the heat.

I'm not too nervous with this one, I dont really get nervous with girls, especially a girl I'm friends with, just unsure of how to handle the situation, since I've been burned in this spot before. I'm really more anxious than nervous, I think I have a shot.

[funsounds]

if it's a date...then you both know it's a date. otherwise, it's probably not a date. besides...she left you that night at 12:30am to hang with another guy. might be nothing...might be something.

btw...your current sounds good. call her to wish her a merry christmas...chit chat..setup monday...and roll with it.

[theotherguy0123]

well what's wrong with the needy dude? if you want to be needy, go ahead. Since you are not nervous, instead you are anxious, well, so why not just talk to her sooner?

[football]

if it's a date...then you both know it's a date. otherwise, it's probably not a date. besides...she left you that night at 12:30am to hang with another guy. might be nothing...might be something.

btw...your current sounds good. call her to wish her a merry christmas...chit chat..setup monday...and roll with it.

Yea the situation with the other guy is confusing, because there are many factors. She lives a good 45-1 hour away from me. The other guy lives close to me as well I believe. So I dont know if it was a matter of convenience of just seeing an old friend (who she also went to the movies with the day before though). This guy called her like 3 times that night while we were together. He seems pretty needey, she didn't return his first message, and she ended their first call pretty quickly. However on the 3rd call, she said she planned on leaving in about 30 minutes or and to call her back then.

[football]

well what's wrong with the needy dude? if you want to be needy, go ahead. Since you are not nervous, instead you are anxious, well, so why not just talk to her sooner?

It's never good to be needy....she will pickup on that and she will be wearing the pants of the friendship or relationship. Of course I want to talk to her sooner, but as I explained above, I can't see her sooner since tomorrow is christmas and it takes me or her 1 hour to drive here and 1 hour to drive back, so when we hang out we have to make a day of it, which would mean we couldn't hang out christmas night or anything.

[theotherguy0123]

Well dont assume, why don't you just ask her about the other guy? If you are going to date her, and that's bothering you, then ask.

[football]

Well I've been doing a lot of reading online about this kind of stuff, because of getting burned in previous situation. I've read/heard that that wouldn't be a good idea. It shows the girl that your not very confident in yourself. However I think I will bring it up as a joke and see what she says. I'll ask something hoping for her to answer that she hung out with that kid...then I will say something like...oh you guys have a thing going on dont you... in a joking manner, we joke around a ton so I think that would be a good way to do that without seeming worried about the guy, and see how she responds to that.

[theotherguy0123]

[QUOTE=football]Well I've been doing a lot of reading online about this kind of stuff, because of getting burned in previous situation. I've read/heard that that wouldn't be a good idea. It shows the girl that your not very confident in yourself. QUOTE]


Well yes, i also read these things, but they mean very general stuff, it's hard to explain...somethings i dont get either, but just take a very subtle approach.

[football]

Yea I hear you, but thanks for bringing it up I wasn't sure weather or not I bring up the kid or not, but I think I will now in the jokingly manner, especially if things start going well during the "date".

[theotherguy0123]

alrite no problem...btw how old ru?